Disclaimer: I do not own the Fifty Shades trilogy, nor Christian Grey's character – I just play in the sandbox created by E. L. James!

Summary: An alternate universe in which Christian is yearning for Ana. Because instead of trying to get Ana back when she walks out, at the end of FSOG, Christian lets his 50 shades and dark side take completely over.

A/N: Originally the reason for their split was going to be that he cheated; but then I came across Emine's incredible CG point of view trilogy, and for the life of me, I can no longer imagine let alone write a cheating Christian.


"Once again congratulations, to both of you" Christian hugs both Elliot and Kate. It is the end of their engagement party and there is only one person he wants to talk to right now. He has been waiting all night to approach her; it is now or she will be gone once again.

She is sitting at a distance; Ana, his Ana, is talking to some girl, probably one of her and Kate's friend. Ana is like a magnet, regardless of how crowded a room is, he can always sense her, feel her, find her. There is a pull to her; as much as he wants to deny it, after all this time, she is still his sun. There is a gravitational pull to her, he goes from 0 to 100 in a nanosecond. He craves her, needs her body-mind-and-soul.

Christian walks towards her. To the casual observer, he is master of his universe, he is in control and successful. Inside, however, he is concerned that she'll reject him – will she talk to me?

They have not talked since the day she walked out of Escala, after he disciplined her – oh how he misses her smart mouth!

"Hi, Anastasia, you look beautiful" and she does, extraordinary. She is wearing a two-tone black and white dress. The black pattern runs along the sides and to the ¾ sleeves, the front and back of the dress is white. It hugs her perfectly, enough cleavage to peek anyone's interest, without revealing much. He knows fashion; this number is one of a kind, made exclusively for her, exquisite.

She is wearing black high heels that make her legs look fantastic. She is still petite and slim, but she has definitely been exercising; she has lean muscles and curves in all the right places. Her soft hair framing her face in cascading unruly curls; she is wearing minimum make up; full lips that cry kiss me; and oh, those eyes, those blue eyes still as captivating. She looks up at him, and as always, he feels like she can see through him.

"Hello!" is her simple answer – that is positive, she did not send me away! He pulls a chair and sits to the side of her, resting one hand on the table and the other on the back of her chair. "It would be good if we could catch up" he says in a most un-Christian like voice, not quite pleating, maybe just hopeful. In answer she raises her eyebrows.

"Care to join me, Anastasia, for a drink or maybe just tea?" The way he says her name, makes her insides cringe, and a pool of wetness now stain her underwear.

"I can't. I have a thing tomorrow, in N.Y."

"I could arrange -"

She shakes her head "… I have a jet waiting for me" she interrupts.

"There are so many things I would like to say…"

"Anything that needed to be said; has been said"

Christian closes his eyes, as if to gather his thoughts to what to say next. She reaches and rests a soft hand in his; she then stands up and walks away right after saying "Bye, see you at the wedding."

The small contact sends an electric shot through him. As if he had touched a live wire. He closes his eyes; he inhales the scent she leaves behind. For a brief second his control is gone, he wants to run after her, take her against the wall and mark her as his. He would buy her the world; he would put it at her feet, anything and everything her heart desires.

- What good is it to be a billionaire if he cannot have the one he wants and needs above all others?

He wants to engulf her in his arms, breath her scent, kiss her, take her to his bed, wake up tangled in her. No other woman has been allowed to be in his bed. Ana, his Ana, would be his queen; he would forgo kink if that is what would bring her back to him.

Instead of running after Ana, though, he controls his impulse, letting the rage and anger take a hold of him once again; he stands up and goes the opposite way.


A/N: I have some ideas swirling my mind for back, and future story lines from this point, but I'm not sure if you would like me to continue. What do you think - interested in more chapters? Or is it just enough as a one shot?


A/N: WOW… really… wow. Thanks!

I posted "Christian's yearning" before I went to bed; then, when I woke up this morning I decided to check and see if anyone had even read it. So here I am eating my cold cereal, I grab my handy old laptop and what do I find? PMs and reviews voting to continue… I got to admit, my inner writer is dancing. Thank You!

* yes... I will continue it … after the overwhelming response how could I not!

* yes… I will fill you in on what happened and why CG did not send her the email to take her to Jose's show.

* as for timelines, I think I will try and keep the original timeline. Just because they are not together, does not mean the world is different or at stand still. Kind of like when something happens to you – as in a break up with someone, or a death, or even loosing your job - the world may seem cruel that it keeps on moving, but it does. The birds sing, people laugh, and the crazy lady from down the street is still just as batty.

* I have to go to work now… just wanted to drop a note to say thanks and I better get busy, I got a story to write!