Summary: A happy-go-lucky Wally Beatles sees his world fall apart when his friends begin to betray him one-by-one. 3/4, 2/5, 1/362
A/N: My first 3/4 story, yay!
Everything was warm and beautiful in Virginia. The hustle and bustle of the cities and the calm serenity of the suburban were as peaceful as they came. There was nothing wrong with the world.
Except one thing.
Wally stepped into the flat, exhausted from his day in the office. He noticed his beloved fiancée Kuki sitting comfortably on their expensive, imported red couch and smiled, a present hiding behind his back.
Noticing him, she let out a coy smile, tucking a strand of dark hair behind her ear. "Hey there."
"Oh hi, Kuki," Wally grinned, as if he didn't notice her. She sauntered over to him and kissed him, relishing in the contact before pulling away. "I got something for yooou, baby." Drawing the present from behind, he watched her face light up for a moment at the surprise before taking it, returning to the couch.
As she began to open the top, he migrated to the couch and took a seat, half-smiling as she drew up a silky red dress.
"It's beautiful Wally. Thank you," Kuki said quietly, sizing up the dress against her body. "I'll try it on now."
After a few minutes of waiting, Kuki reappeared, spinning elegantly in her new dress. He watched her appreciatively before the front door opened, a younger man walking in.
"Well, don't you look pretty?" Joey awkwardly stuck his hands into his pockets.
"Oh hi, Joey," Wally said flippantly from his seat on the couch. He leered at Kuki for a moment, a smirk playing on his features. "I'm going to go take a nap."
Joey looked between Wally and Kuki before smiling naïvely. "Can I come too?"
Both the two engaged people chuckled.
"Actually, I think I'll go up too," Kuki stressed to Joey. "We'll see you later, Joey." As both lovebirds made their way up into the bedroom, Joey helped himself to an orange, taking a bite out of it with a victorious expression.
Wally was in a playful mood on the bed, hitting Kuki pathetically with a pillow as they began some sort of pillow fight. She smacked him with a bit more force, so he smacked her right back in retaliation, sending her crashing to the floor.
"Oh sorry Kuki," Wally said dispassionately as she struggled to stand back up in her silk dress. He laughed awkwardly. "Ha, ha, ha."
"It's okay," She said, nursing her sore nose before setting the pillows back down. They stared each other for another awkward moment before a third person thumped in the middle with them, giggling profusely as he was soon pelted with pillows.
"Oh hi, Joey," Wally said as they finished the pillow fight. "Shouldn't you be doing something downstairs?" Joey looked between them before shrugging.
"I just like to watch." He finished lamely.
"Joey," Wally started in a patronizing, but rather awkward tone. "Two is fine. But three's a crowd."
Kuki smiled warmly at Joey. "Me and Wally just want to spend time alone."
"Oh, I get it," Joey started to grin in a lascivious fashion. "You guys want to be alone. Okay, I've got homework anyways. Did you know that Sarah Palin was once governor of Russia? Nah, you probably don't care. Bye lovebirds."
The rest of the day ended up becoming night. Two souls enjoyed each other with tender pillow fights and rose petals until dawn broke.
After Wally had left for work the next morning, Kuki lounged around the flat, reading a random book until the doorbell rang. Her mother stepped in without question, donning her usual office suit. As they chatted quietly over trivial things, her mother brought up the wedding.
Kuki frowned and decided to let it all out. "Mom, I don't want to marry Wally."
Her mother stared at her, impassively flabbergasted. "Well, why not?!"
Shifting uncomfortably, she began to pout. "I'm not in love with him." Tutting in irritation, her mother scooted forward, frowning.
"Wally loves you!" She counteracted. "And he's a good provider. Let's face it, Kuki, you won't be able to survive on your job alone. Being a heart surgeon just doesn't make as much money you can survive with! You are making a big mistake. And if you do not get married and have my grandkids you will be dishonor! Dishonor on you, dishonor on your family, dishonor on your cat, dishonor-!"
Kuki simply shrugged and said nothing more, rolling her eyes. No one understood her. Once her mother left, continuing to tut, she immediately walked over to the phone and started dialing, her talk with her mother emboldened her to follow through on the one thing she was scared to do.
"Hello?" A male voice answered, his accent giving away a Spanish heritage.
"Pablo..." She said quietly, cradling the phone like a vice. "I want you."
A chuckle reverberated in response, as if he was under the impression that it was a joke. "Who is this?" She didn't answer, but the pause seemed to jog his memory. "...Kuki?"
Kuki's hand began to tremble on the phone, but her voice was firm. "Come over here," She said in her best seductive voice. "I want to be with you."
An exasperated sound, but one of defeat. "Wally's my best friend," He simply said. There were sounds of traffic in the background, which Kuki assumed that he was working at the moment. "I can't...you don't expect me to..."
"Pablo." Her pleas seemed to be breaking down his walls, because he answered that he was coming over. Setting the receiver down, she felt a sense of victory.
Wally made his way into the flower shop, the only thing on his mind to clear the bad day was Kuki. Always Kuki. He stepped through the threshold and pulled down his sunglasses. "Oh hi, flower lady. I'll have a dozen red roses, please."
The woman looked up from her magazine, loudly popping gum in her mouth. "Oh hey, Wally, didn't see you there." She moved to set up a bouquet of roses and at record time too. Her manager just had to give her that promotion now! "Here you go."
"That's me!" Wally said, not realizing how out-of-place his response was.
But the woman didn't seem to notice, too busy fantasizing at the idea of making ten cents more than what she made per hour now. "That'll be eighteen bucks." Without a beat, Wally put down the money. "Here you go, keep the change, hello doggy." He patted the head of a small dog on the counter, which promptly fell over.
"You're my favorite custom-HEY BUDDY!" The flower woman waved the five dollar bill at him. "This ain't enough moolah, pal! Now pay up, or I'll skin ya alive!"
Kuki sneezed. Again and again. The bouquet not made of roses was put in a vase and set far away from the flat, anywhere she won't go near it. "I'm allergic to dandelions, Wally!" She sneezed again, eyes puffy and red as she reached for another tissue. But Wally stared at her with apologetic eyes so she segued into something else to take his mind off his bumbling. "Did you get the promotion?"
Wally sighed and shook his head. "Nah." He fell back into the couch with heavy thump. Kuki moved to sit next to him, barely even listening to what he said.
"You didn't get it, did you?"
"It's not fair!" Wally whined. "I've been a loyal employee at Burger Dog for five years! I've brought in so many customers! They betrayed me, they didn't keep their promise, they tricked me, and I don't care anymore. "
Sensing his distress, she reached behind them and pulled out a bottle of wine. "Forget 'em, Wally. You know what you need? You need a drink. Get the glasses."
Wally rolled his head back, grinning. "You know I don't drink, Kuki. Not after what happened last Spring Break."
"Trust me, Wally. I don't think even a sober man could have known that was a guy." She smiled back, shaking the bottle teasingly at him. Wally took one last look at it before taking it.
The night seemed almost a blur. He remembered laughing and drinking and laughing some more. Kuki was wearing his Burger Dog employee hat and saying something intense about Pablo. Which was nice. He liked when the woman of his dreams was good friends with the people he cared for.
"Well what's on the agenda today, mother? Let me guess, you're dying are you?" Kuki set down the tray of tea, her sarcasm at full force. Her mother glared at her and looked her full in the eye.
"How you know?! Did father tell you?! He just can't wait for me to die!" Her mother slurred out in anger, her accent in full force as she downed her green tea. Bitter, just like her demeanor. "I have breast cancer. So you go and give me grandkids soon or I curse you!"
Kuki rolled her eyes. "Mom, I'm not marrying Wally. I don't even like him anymore."
"I don't care! I want grandkids!"
There had to be some way to convince her. "Mom, he didn't even get that promotion. He got drunk last night. And he hit me."
There was a dead silence.
"Wally doesn't drink!" Her mother scoffed. "And he just impatient! You won't marry him, so he's just warming up his husband hand! Your father does it all the time. It's no big."
"And I've been seeing Pablo. We're together now."
Her mother continued to stare. "You gonna break his poor Aussie heart, kokoro. Why you not telling him then? Why have you turned into such a heartless harpy?!"
Kuki glared. "I had to get it from someone now, didn't I?"
"Touche, kokoro. I so proud of you." Her mother sniffed and dabbed her eyes with the tea cozy.
Wally stormed onto the rooftop of the flat, shaking a bottle of water angrily in his hands. "I did not hit her, it's not true, I did not hit her, I did nooooot!" He tossed the battle away, his demeanor instantly changing when he sees Pablo sitting around. "Oh hi, Pablo!"
Pablo moved his sunglasses down for a clearer look. "Hey Wally." He said in his thick Spanish accent. "What's going on?"
The blond Aussie shrugged, as if he simply forgot that he was mad about something. "Nothing much. How are you?" Knowing that sheepish expression on his best friend's face, he let out an impish smile. "Who is she? Is she hot? She must be hot. Like Kuki hot right? Because Kuki's hot. I mean, how can you not see that she's hot?"
Pablo cleared his throat awkwardly. "Yeah. She's...pretty hot, I guess."
"You guess? She's sublime. A Japanese goddess! And she's pretty mean with a pillow, if you get my drift," Wally continued, oblivious to how uncomfortable he was making his best friend.
"Oh, I bet she is."
Wally smiled. "You are my best friend, Pablo. You can tell me anything!"
Well, what else could Pablo do? "Alright, I'll bite. There's this guy...and he's got a best friend. He cares about his best friend, don't get me wrong, but his best friend's girlfriend? She's hot."
"Like Kuki hot?" Wally asked innocently.
Pablo tried his hardest not to laugh at the absurdity of it all. "Yeah. Exactly. Kuki hot. And...he's been seeing her without his best friend knowing and he feels very awful. I'm trying to help him out of it."
"He should do it."
"You mean continue seeing Kuki...uh, Kuki hot?" Pablo said weakly.
Wally moved forward, as if telling a secret. "Listen, it's not everyday that you find Kuki hot. You gotta take someone like Kuki and have her. No ifs, ands, or buts!"
"B-but, what about his best friend?"
Wally scoffed. "His best friend must be a complete moron if he doesn't know she's cheating on him! Listen, if he don't know, he ain't good enough for her. Simple as that!"
Pablo smiled awkwardly. "If...if you say so..."
"Ha ha! What a story, Pablo! Let's go, huuuuuuh?" Wally tossed his arm over Pablo's shoulders and led him off the roof. True friends til the end!
It wasn't everyday Abby visited due to her hectic job as a pediatrician, but this was a special occasion. Old Wally's birthday was coming up and Kuki desperately needed help setting up. That, and she complained about being bored inside the flat all day. Being childhood friends, Abby was more than happy to give up her schedule for the girl today.
"So how's being a heart surgeon going?" Abby began putting up the streamers, opening up the conversation. The Japanese woman seemed very irritable lately, though she did mention something about dandelions in the home somewhere. Everyone knew that the poor girl was allergic to it.
Kuki kicked the foot stool to the wall and began to meticulously clean the floor. "It's a thankless job. I don't make as much as Wally does, after all." There was nothing more prestigious than being the cashier at Burger Dog. Total top dollar job.
"I think I'm more surprised that Wally can count." Abby joked, moving to help Kuki with the furniture. "But what's up? You look even more depressed than usual."
Sighing, Kuki leaned against the wall. "I'm seeing Pablo." Her expression changed into an impish one. "I'm not in love with Wally anymore."
"Get out of here!" Abby gaped. "C'mon, Kuki. At least break off the engagement if you're going to do that. You're going to break the poor guy's heart. He's really sensitive!"
Kuki folded her arms and sighed. "I'm just not into him anymore. He doesn't...light me up, y'know? And he got drunk last night. He hit me."
Abby stared in shock. "Wally doesn't drink!"
Unbeknownst to them, Wally had arrived home, stopping to overhear their conversation in the shadows. His expression turned grim and then angry. Deciding that he heard enough, he walked by, pretending he didn't hear a thing. "Oh hi, Abby."
The dark-skinned woman nearly dropped her mop in shock. "Heeeey...Wally. How you doin'?" Kuki rolled her eyes and turned away, going back to her cleaning. Realizing the temperature had dropped a couple of degrees in the room, Abby nervously laughed and decided to make a hasty retreat. "Just here to help Kuki with the cleaning, but it looks like she's almost done. Guess I'll go now...you know how Hoagie is when dinner's not on time. He gets very cranky."
Pecking Wally on the cheek, she gave him a thump of his shoulder and let herself out. Any smart person knew to run home when a storm's a-brewing.
Once Abby was out of earshot, Wally took to the offensive. "Why are you telling people I hit you? I did not hit you! It's not true!"
Kuki shook her head, glaring at him. Wordlessly, she tried to move past him. He grabbed her arm and pulled her into the couch. "Why, Kuki? Please talk to me, please! You are part of my life! You are everything! I could not go on without you, Kuki!"
She leaned back in her seat. "You're scaring me, Wally."
Wally gritted his teeth and raised his fists up for emphasis. "You're lying! I never hit you! You are tearing me apart, Kuki!"
"Stop being so dramatic," She said, getting up. "Right now, I've got things to do and you're in my way." Wally continued fuming when she ran upstairs to call Pablo.
"I need you, Pablo," She whispered into the phone, now in the privacy of her room.
Pablo snorted. "I just saw you, what are you talking about?"
Kuki shook her head, even if Pablo couldn't see it. "Wally's being difficult. He's driving me nuts!" But Wally knew something was up with her. Why she was always on the phone. He grabbed a tape recorder from his desk and began to fiddle with it.
"Stupid technology!" Wally growled, spending an hour trying to get the thing to work. He neglected to plug the recorder to the phone and simply gave up with the attempt. But he'll find out. He'll find out the truth.
Still, the wedding wasn't canceled. In fact, they had just finished rehearsal. Wally and his groomsmen were lounging in Nigel's study, celebrating what was left of the Aussie's stag life with a good cognac and a couple of beers.
"How's it feel, Beatles? Now that you're ready to get the ol' ball and chain?" Nigel snickered, flicking a bit of dust from his glass. He always did like to have things in such order.
But Hoagie had a different ideal about it all. "Don't listen to Uno. Mr. James Bond over here is gonna end up old with a dozen cats! You'll see!"
Despite the jokes, Nigel smiled at that. "My old girl and I are too busy for weddings, you know that. Domestic partnerships, son. You go in, you get out, you're married in the eyes of the law. Don't even have to spend money on the dress."
"So practical. Too practical. Wally's doing the normal thing. Like me and Abby!" Hoagie smirked and nudged Pablo. "And you too, right? None of this domestic partnership thing."
Pablo rubbed his arm, chuckling nervously. "Ah...I don't think marriage is in my future."
"Oh Pablo, you're just a little chicken. Cheeep-cheep-cheep-cheep-cheep-cheeeheeeep!" Wally crowed, patting his best man on the knee. "If a lot of people loved each other, the world would be a better place."
After imbibing an entire case of beer, Hoagie clung to Wally's words like a drowned man needing water. "That's deep, man." He slurred happily.
"Romantic much, Wally? What's up?" Nigel asked, spinning his bottle on the table. Wally seemed very...contemplative. Definitely not Wally.
He wasted no time to answer. "I think Kuki's cheating on me." Pablo nearly choked on his beer in sympathy. Wally patted him on his back.
Hoagie gaped at the confession. "That's deep, man."
"Why do you think that, Wally?" Nigel, ever the reasonable man, cut through the red tape with ease. "Did you face her about it?"
Wally took another swing of his bottle. "I want to give her a chance. She's my future wife after all. You know what they say: love is blind."
"That's deep, man."
Wally returned home after a grueling day of working the cash register to find the flat filled with people. Most he didn't know, but he knew a few. It was even more surprising because Kuki had arranged this surprise party for him. Maybe there was still hope after all!
As everyone moved near to wish him a happy birthday, he smiled at Kuki. "Thank you, honey, this is a beautiful party! You invited all my friends!" He gave her a thumbs up. "Good thinking!" It was great. The cake was delicious and everyone hung onto Wally's words and jokes with almost a forced passion.
Eventually, Kuki was getting antsy and she ordered everyone in the flat for silence. "Let's all get some air, alright?" And as everyone clamored off, she grabbed Pablo and pulled him into the empty flat. "We're alone," She purred, clinging to him. Smiling back, he pulled her close, moving to kiss her when someone returned and they quickly separated.
The party goer looked between them. "What are you doing? Kuki! What are you doing? You're going to destroy Wally! He's very sensitive!"
"Stay out of this," Kuki growled. She didn't even remember inviting him. "Who are you anyways?!"
Finally, Kuki and Pablo returned to the party outside, finding her way by Wally's side. But Abby had a very hard time keeping secrets and had already informed Rachel and Nigel of Kuki's bit on the side. The group looked on in horror as Wally announced to everyone, "Hey, everybody! I have an announcement to make. We're expecting! " Everyone clapped in their honor, with the exception of their close friends.
"FINALLY!" Kuki's mother yelled over the applause. "I FINALLY GET GRANDKIDS! HONOR TO FAMILY!"
The party eventually died down and Kuki found her way to their table. Nigel stared at her in distrust. "So, when is the baby due?"
Kuki snorted, popping a bit of cake in her mouth. "There is no baby."
"Then why would you say that in front of everyone?" Rachel demanded, worried for the stability of their friendship now on the line.
The Japanese woman smiled. "I told him that to make it interesting." Abby covered her face with her hand. "I feel like I'm sitting on a ticking atomic bomb, Kuki."
"Same here." Nigel cocked an eyebrow, knowing that things were just bound to get much worse within their tightly close-knit of friends.
Trying to appeal to...some sort of decency left in the girl, Rachel took Kuki's hand in her's. "You need to stop this while your dignity is still intact! This is going to destroy him, Kuki!"
"You're going to destroy this friendship too!" Abby added. Nigel went back to drinking. This was just too much drama. Kuki scoffed at them and stood up, making another announcement. "It's getting chilly out, yeah? Let's all go back to the flat!" Before Rachel could stand up and follow, Nigel grabbed her hand.
"This is why we didn't have a wedding! Everyone goes bonkers when this happens!"
Pablo pulled Kuki aside as soon as they made it inside, demanding if the child was his. "Let go of me." Kuki growled, wrenching her hand away.
"I need to know, Kuki! Is it mine?!" Pablo demanded.
"It's none of your business." She slapped him as he continued to insult her.
Wally stepped in, confused by the sudden animosity between the girl he loved and his best friend. "What's going on?"
Pablo sneered at his naïvety. "You wouldn't understand, Wally. You really don't know, do you?" And then Wally finally connected the dots, shoving his friend. "Maybe I know more than you think!" He couldn't have...would he cheat with Kuki?!
Pablo shoved back, unwilling to go without a fight. The shoving back and forth continued until Kuki finally stepped between them. The crowd had gathered to see the conflict and Wally had to be held back by Nigel.
"It's fine! Everything's fine." Wally wrenched himself away from his childhood friend, going back to his chipper self. "The fight is over, it's okay. I'm sorry, Pablo." He held out his hand in peace. Maybe he didn't know and he was just over analyzing. That, or he had a horrible memory problem. But Pablo accepted the peace-offering and the party went on as normal.
...until Kuki pulled Pablo in for a slow dance. In front of everyone. Now Wally thought there was something more going on. Angered, he pulled them aside for another confrontation.
"What are you doing?!" Wally demanded, pulling Kuki away. Pablo wasn't going to have that. "Maybe she doesn't want to talk to you, Wally!"
Now that got Wally mad. He pushed Pablo. "Since when do you give me orders?!"
"Because Kuki changed her mind about you," Pablo taunted, practically flaunting his relationship with her out in the open now. Wasn't that what Wally wanted? He basically handed her on a silver platter to him. "Wake up, man! What planet are you on?!"
Rachel immediately covered Nigel's mouth. She really didn't want him to go into GKND flashback mode while things were starting to already get heated up.
Wally had enough. "I think you should leave." Guilty, Pablo tried to reach out. "Hey, I'm sorry man-" Wally immediately wrenched himself away, growling. "Don't touch me you-!" Everyone gasped at the swear word. Wally doesn't swear!
They attacked each other again, flailing and slapping until they were broken up again by the crowd.
"You betrayed me! You're not good!" Wally shouted, pulling himself away from Nigel's grip again. "You're just a little chicken! Cheeep-cheep-cheep-cheep-cheep-cheeeheeeep!" That did it and Pablo launched himself at Wally again.
"Whoa, déjà vu." Hoagie nudged Abby, who rolled her eyes. "This is exciting!"
"That's enough!" Nigel yelled, sick of pulling Wally away from his wimpy fight with Pablo. "It's over!"
Wally shoved Nigel aside. "NO! It's not over! Everybody betrayed me! I'm fed up with this world!" He ran upstairs, uncaring of the people he left to clean up this tragic mess.
The flat was cleared out and cleaned by the time Kuki went upstairs to see if Wally was alright, finding him locked in the bathroom. Rolling her eyes, she knocked on it. "You can come out now. Everyone's gone."
"In a few minutes, witch." Wally said darkly, curled against the door. Kuki sighed in exasperation. She had enough of this man. Walking over to the nearest phone, she picked it up and dialed for Pablo.
"Pablo? I need to talk to you." Unbeknownst to her, Wally leaned against the door, listening in. "Wally? He's being the typical big baby, don't worry about him."
"I'm not," Was Pablo's answer. "Pack up your stuff and come over. I don't like him anymore. He's a big, stinky moron." Pleased, Kuki hung up and moved to start packing.
But Wally wasn't going to let her go without a fight. He emerged from the bathroom, ignoring Kuki to go downstairs and get the tape recorder. "I'll show her. I'll show everyone!" Running back upstairs, he showed her the tape recorder and began to play it.
Oh hi, customer! Would you like the special to your Burger Dog? Only thirty cents extra and you get a free drink!
Wally frowned and shut it off. "Stupid technology!" Unimpressed, Kuki grabbed her stuff and proceeded to leave. He pushed her back down to the bed. "HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?!" Evidence or not, it was obvious that she was cheating on him with Pablo. And it was tearing him apart! "I gave you seven years of my life! And you betray me! I treated you like a princess!" His anger subsides, replaced with sheer despair. "And you stab me in the back."
Unable to listen to any more, she continued to grab her things even as he poured his heart out. "I love you and I'd do anything for you! Anything to just please you and now you betrayed me." He just couldn't understand. Everything he did-with his own best friend!
"HOW COULD YOU LOVE HIM?!"
Kuki paused, staring coldly at him. He slumped down, defeated. "Everybody betrayed me. I don't have a friend in the world." Shaking her head, she grabbed her things. "Goodbye Wally."
She left without turning back.
The culmination of emotions and despair were too much for him. "Get out. GET OUT!" He yelled after her, even though she was long gone by now. Rage overcoming him, he tore through their bedroom, pained and at a loss as memories with her came full throttle, beating his already abused psyche into submission.
He tore downstairs and wreaked havoc in the flat, tearing things from walls and tossing objects as they smashed all over the place. Wally let out a hideous scream, unable to hold onto his emotions.
Eventually he came upon the vase of dandelions under the sink, kept to avoid Kuki sneezing all over the place from its contents. He grabbed it and headed upstairs, lost and alone.
What she didn't know, what no one knew, was that Wally was severely allergic to dandelions. He was fed up with this world, you see.
He shoved every single dandelion into his mouth, choking on it. He couldn't live without her. Would not live without her despite her betrayal. He loved her. Until the end.
Pablo was waiting outside for her when a TV suddenly fell from out of nowhere, nearly hitting him as it crashed into the pavement. Kuki had finally come down and they both stared at the TV, which looked very familiar.
"Wally!" Pablo exclaimed, ignoring Kuki's protests as he immediately went inside, her following at his heels. They returned to the flat to find it in complete shambles, everything destroyed. They ran upstairs, finding Wally on the floor, face puffed up and purpled. "Oh my god." Pablo quickly checked for a pulse, Kuki already freaking out at the sight of his lifeless body.
"Wake up, Wally, come on!" Pablo shouted, patting him on the face in futile. Kuki began to shake. "I-is he dead?!"
Pablo put an ear to Wally's mouth, hoping to hear or feel any signs of breath. With none either happening, he began to dial 911. That was when Kuki began to sob uncontrollably, unable to process that Wally had gone and killed himself. Closing his phone as they waited for an ambulance to arrive, Pablo tenderly pressed a kiss to Wally's forehead, his guilt obvious. He should have never listened to Wally's lousy advice.
Kuki sobbed into Pablo's shoulder. "I still have you, don't I? Please tell me you still love me!" Pablo shook his head, disgusted, and pulled away from her.
"You don't have me, Kuki! I'll never love you!" Kuki continued to cry as sirens filled the room.
That was when Joey walked in, chipper as ever. "Oh hi, guys! What's up?"
A/N: This is a parody of something. And if you know, you don't get a cookie, because it's pretty obvious. Toodles! ^_^