This is part of my other fic a dictionary of boosh but it was more of a Fic in it's own right than a drabble so I am posting it as a seperate story and re-writing the other chapters to replace in the my drabble collection. This part was based on the word 'Broken'. Enjoy.
Disclaimer: I don't own the Boosh, this is non profit only.
They thought they were invincible. They thought their ties could never be undone. They were one forever and forever one.
But then came the last straw. The final snapping point. That girl has broken them. They didn't argue about girls, or indeed boys (the others preferences had always been a mystery) –it was all just innocent teasing, but this time something was different and when it hit it hit hard.
A wave builds up in the sea, little by little, the further away it starts the bigger it gets. The tension builds, sometimes it just dies away again and forms green swell that can do no real harm, but sometimes it just keeps on getting bigger until it hits that sandbank, that rocky out crop that brings it all crashing down in a foam of spray and wroth, roiling turmoil that soaks everyone and everything in it's path.
I don't know what happened. All hell broke loose. Nothing and then everything and now nothing again but with everything all inside it. We'd been cracking around the edges for a while but every time we just patched it back together with plasters sticky tape and bright coloured chewing gum and pretended it was ok. But this was the tremor that cause the destruction.
"She's just a girl 'Oward!"
"Yer! Like everyone else is! I'm sick of this Vince just floating around. You don't do anything. You never help in the shop, you just poke at everything now'r days! You cant leave me be but you never do anything to help change anything. GOD!" he stormed off then, no clearer than when he started. Howard doesn't rage. He turns it in on himself, I'm the one that does all the shouting and slamming doors.
I realise then. I never heard a door shut. In fact his footsteps just die out without going anywhere.
After that it's even more of a blur. A vague apology
"Sorry 'bout this love… I better…"
"Yer… I'll just…" She heads to leave
"No!... Yer… sorry… you probably should…" I realise I don't know what to do, it's always the other way around. Howard would know how to handle this.
"Umm… Vince? Can you, can you give this to Howard… he doesn't have to but…"
"Yer, course. Sorry. He isn't normally like this…" She handed me a piece of paper with a number on before leaving. Her mobile number. It's still in my pocket, where I stored it, with every intention of giving it to him.
I think I went up stairs, to our bedroom, the first place I thought he would be. That's one thing you can count on Howard for – reliable and predictable. But, he wasn't there. The window was open but he wasn't there.
"'Oward?" "'Oward?! C'mon Howard. Look im sorry! What ever it is im sorry… 'Oward" The chilling recognition that I was calling to empty space. No-one was there. I didn't know where he went or how he got out, and I still don't but he defiantly wasn't in the flat. Even so it pushed my way through the clutter – overturning everything and searching in places no-one could ever fit into. It was like a sixth sense, a precognition, the feeling of franticness – that something really bad was happening. I don't like arguments. I say it's 'cos they upset my aura, but really it's cos they scare me. Plain out terrify me – especially when im the one the anger is directed at.
When Naboo got home I yelled at him – all the tiny fractions of anger I had stored away that were slowly building up released. All the angry thoughts that were directed at Howard how dare he just leave! What was the argument even for anyway? Mainly just unexplainable anger and anger at my fear of the anger. By the time I was finished I had tear tracks down my face and Naboo was holding me in a really awkward way, trying too soothe me whilst not knowing what any of it was about. He looked kinda shell shocked.
I feel bad now. That's another thing to add to my conscience, not just Howard but Naboo as well. I screamed at him and yelled at him. Pointless abuse, stuff I would never in a million years mean but thinking back it sounded like I meant every word. Every syllable. And he just stood there and took it all, didn't say a word but just absorbed my anger and then tried to comfort me. All the while a dull flame in his eyes, puzzling what I meant, trying to swallow the insults without them getting to him but I could see that it hurt him. It cut him deep where no-one should be able to get to. See the thing is, I might not read too well in words but when it comes to people I am champion. The people reader Howard used to call me. And yet I couldn't read him. I couldn't understand why he was so angry. I still can't just enough to accept that it is my fault.
That was a week and a half ago. Yesterday Naboo moved out. Said he couldn't stand it here anymore. Said it smelt of death. He was right about the death. Part of me has died. The report came out this morning. Suspected suicide. Failed the first time – tried to hang him self in a warehouse but in the end he threw himself into the Thames they said.
It's not fair. It's not the same without Howard. I thought I would feel grief but instead a numbness has spread over me – detaching all thought from emotions. I think it's because after all of that I still don't believe it. Howard wouldn't do something like that. He isn't brave enough.
I can't go back.
He'll have moved on without me.
He doesn't want that anyway
God I must have killed him the way I shouted
Please! Who ever you are im begging you to let this stop.
What have I done.
Why? What did I do?
Like he said it was just a girl.
I don't normally care about them. It's just she was so different, I really wanted to be with her more.
I don't know. Maybe I was jealous. I wanted to prove that I could catch as well as Vince.
She probably didn't even like me anyway.
Who would want me?
Vince would. You heard the way he called you name. You heard what he said to Naboo. You did all that. You caused all that. With your greed and your selfishness. Your impatience and your lust to be as good. Just accept it. Vince will always be better than you. You hurt him Howard. And all because of one silly little girl.
Shut UP! SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!
Sorry about that. I was in a wierd mood when I wrote it. Thanks for reading.. x Reviews?! please x