Two Narutos meet canon 3

After having calmed down Naruto, telling him that no, no Kushina or Minato were looking for him, things went pretty smoothly around Konoha. If one could count a sudden increase in the academy curriculum, the appearance of forehead protector kunai-wielding snakes, the increase in militarization and the sudden deaths of half of the main Hyuga clan house as smooth. That and the disappearance of the caged bird seal.

Neji drunk himself to oblivion and woke up the next day with a very flushed Ten-Ten. But that's another story altogether.

The Godaime Naruto Senju frowned for a moment, sitting at his desk as a new mission came right in to be valued.

To escort a bridge builder back to his village and protect him from bandits. At the same time overseeing the construction site until it was finished.

It was a long term mission, but shouldn't have gone further than C-rank.

A pity the Nidaime no Sairai wasn't one with a leaky memory.

"Well…The right thing to do would be to send this off as a B-rank or A-rank, then again this is another dimension, so maybe nothing strange is going to happen?"

The sudden whistling noise coming from the other half of his clones, currently busy doing the paperwork, meant nothing to his ears. He just knew who'd end up getting the mission.

Meanwhile, on the other side of town, in the training ground of Team Seven, Sakura was staring love-eyed at Sasuke training with Kakashi, while Naruto was currently debating how being tail-slapped by a snake double his size counted as 'getting the idiocy out of his system'.

"Tail slap, tail slap! What'cha gonna do when I come for you!?" The snake was positively gleeful as he chuckled. The fact Naruto was screaming and crying meant nothing. He just kept it up.

"The first stage is a heavy trauma." Toruna pointed out to Sakura, having appeared right next to her. Considering the girl had been pretty much ignoring everything but a sweating Sasuke, it startled her. The only reason she didn't snap at him like she did with the normal Naruto was because Toruna was bigger than her, and positively scarier.

"Eh?"

"Well yes." Toruna continued, as he pointed over to Naruto, who was still getting back up with a thoroughly beaten face. "You see, growth can only come from pain."

Somewhere an Akatsuki leader sneezed.

"The greatest changes come after being thoroughly through a suffering…"

Pain and Tobi sneezed, soon followed by half the shinobi population.

"I think there's an epidemic going on." Kakashi muttered, as he drove a fist into Sasuke's guts.

"Anyway, the problem with Naruto's idiocy is that he didn't suffer enough!" Toruna pointed out. "I mean, I got training in Root, loss of humanity, torture, and mind-breaking pain! My other self instead was thrown out by his loving family, used and his trust abused to the point of breaking down! This Naruto instead…he was just ignored! It's not good enough! He needs more angst to fully bloom!" Toruna slowly inched closer to whisper something to Sakura's ears, "and the female love seeing a poor little battered to an inch of life chibi look at them with pleading eyes. I have seen things…here, look: There's Kurenai over there hiding in a bush, already taking pity on the severe beating."

The snake sage commented letting his eyes wonder to, well, the entirety of the kunoichi population that was currently watching Naruto being smashed on the ground repeatedly.

"You see, Sasuke getting beaten up? That's just Karma for being an asshole." Toruna spoke once more, "Naruto being beaten up? He looks like a wet dog that needs a hug."

Even Sakura was now seeing the differences. Sasuke's face was gruff, stern, and closer to an angry scowl. Naruto's was instead slowly morphing from the normal 'angry' face of being beaten to a more…sad one, a sort of melancholic one that bordered on the teary eyed face of a kicked puppy.

"Right about now he's thinking that he can't do it. He can't defeat him." Toruna added quietly, "He's saying: me Hokage? Bullshit. Can't defeat the snake. Can't defeat anyone. My two other selves are more powerful than me. I'm not. I should have been more serious. I'm making myself look like an idiot in front of Sakura-chan. Kakashi doesn't train me. Nobody loves me." As he spoke quietly, Sakura was teary eyed…as the Kunoichi population was too, considering they could pretty much hear him…being behind them in the bushes.

"Maybe I should just lay down on the ground and die…but no: I have to prove to the world what I am. I might be defeated for once, I might not be undefeatable, but I'll try again tomorrow, yeah…tomorrow." Toruna gently whispered as the 'training' snake delivered one lash tail lashing that sent Naruto on the ground breathing harshly.

"And then look. His breathing becomes more even. The orange becomes less awesome and…"

Naruto looked at the sky, the peerless blue sky up above his head as he lay there panting and breathing raggedly. He had tried his best, and the snake had come against him. He hadn't only been defeated, no. The snake had shown him every single thing he had being doing wrong. Every hole in the defense, every idiocy, every single act was poured straight ahead in him as the snake spoke directly in his brain. All of his moves and actions up till then had been analyzed and belittled. Belittled by showing how he could have really earned the support of others instead of pranking, of how he could have been recognized by studying instead of sleeping.

He was showed his true potential…and Naruto shivered.

He didn't know when it happened, but Naruto quietly got up, bowed to the snake, and then left in silence with his eyes downcast and making a tiny little sniffle as he left.

The Kunoichi behind the bush all began to tear and sob before dispersing in quick shunshin.

"And by tomorrow, he'll be changed." Toruna finished with a knowing nod, as Sakura was crying silently over the fate of his teammate, "No more childishness, no more yelling…a new Naruto, a better one."

"Do you know what I just did?" Toruna queried with a little gentle smile a few seconds later as Sakura nodded her head in reply.

"You…You made him grow and become a shinobi?"

"I actually gave him a Harem, but that too." And with that reply, Sakura face-planted on the ground so hard that her forehead resonated with the dirt, creating a rupture on the ground that engulfed Sasuke. Said Uchiha yelled as he ended up being thrown into the crevice, his words being a mixture of 'ITACHI' and 'DOBE' curses.

Meanwhile, Tsunade Senju was currently coming to terms with the fact that, sitting on the gambling slot next to her, stood the Sandaime, dressed in a Hawaii Shirt, a flower neck rope around him, and two blond bombshells on his lap.

"After my wife's death I was so swarmed with paperwork that I couldn't even find another love!" He lamented with tears falling down of his eyes. The two women merely 'awed' for the sad old man that was such a good sport, rich, and that offered them entertainment.

"You know, I was called the Professor for…"

"SENSEI!" Tsunade roared, scaring off the two bird-brains on the elder man's lap, "Please! If this is some sort of horrid shitty trick to get me to become Godaime, by ruining my fun in a casino, then please stop it! I'm not going back to Konoha!"

"Oh hello there Tsunade! You know you should have adopted Naruto-kun? Now he's the Godaime in your place! AhhhhH!" Hiruzen exclaimed satisfied, "I'm retired! I'm RETIRED! I'm out of business, free like a bird! I sting like a bee though, so come here pretty little flowers!" As the Sandaime actually stood up and moved to leave, Tsunade stopped for a second.

"Wait. Sensei! Naruto shouldn't be more than twelve! You can't have made him Hokage at twelve!" As the blond woman screeched that, Hiruzen wasn't listening, instead moving in a 'swag' series of moves towards the bar…wiggling his eyebrows.

Tsunade had already decided she'd forget everything about this by having a triple alcohol poisoning sickness in the following hour.

Hiruzen made a 'hip' gesture.

Scratch that, Tsunade was getting drunk on the instant.

"And that's when they came to Konoha! Man! Two Minatos reborn I tell you!" Hiruzen was positively drunk by the time she reached him. Leave it to the man to know how to get drunk in less than five second.

"Sensei, you aren't making any sense…" Tsunade pointed out. Okay, if this was a plan to get her back to Konoha, it was kind of working…if only for the safety of her sensei. "Who did you leave in your place, sensei? And don't tell me Naruto. He's a kid last I checked."

"A Naruto from another dimension!" Hiruzen cheerfully said as he raised his glass, "Bless you Kami! Thank you! Naruto Senju, Godaime Hokage of Konoha! Thank you so much!" He even had tears in his eyes. Tears!

"I'm free of paperwork, paperwork no more! I'm freeeeee so much freedom!"

"Sensei. You became senile." Tsunade deadpanned. "I'm pretty sure Naruto's father wasn't a Senju."

"That's why the You from the other dimension adopted him!" Hiruzen pointed out, "They were both alive and made you his godmother! And when they left him, you adopted him!" The man actually stood up once more, winking with his right eye.

"Don't believe me? Go and have a look! I'm off to the Land of the Moon! But before…" moving to another pretty young woman. "Hey girl! Do you want to see my Earth Dragon!?"

"PERVERT!"

"No! Doryūdan!" As a giant earth dragon emerged from the ground, making the Sandaime stand on top of it with the pretty woman in his arms, he yelled to the skies. "Hahahahaha! My Earth dragon is massive isn't it!?"

"Note to self…" Tsunade muttered, looking through the hole in the ceiling, from which the Sandaime had apparently disappeared through, "Never, ever, let the Sandaime get drunk again."

As that small snippet of normal madness went on, somewhere else, more precisely in Sound, happened.

"Orochimaru-sama," a Sound Nin whispered, "It appears Konoha has changed its Hokage."

"Oh, the old fool left his spot? Did Kakashi Hatake take it? Kukuku…how amusing." The snake sannin chuckled, before looking at the pale face of the messenger.

"Orochimaru-sama…Naruto Senju has taken control of Konoha and…he has…he…" Suddenly the man jerked violently, before standing upright with twin blue flames erupting from his eyes.

"And he has a mastery of the Edo Tensei Jutsu! And guess what! I know how to use it!" The man detonated. At point blank range Orochimaru could still evade the technique.

The man detonated a second later.

It detonated again.

And again.

And again.

Again and again and again and again.

In the end, Orochimaru was killed. By an Edo Tensei summoned nameless sound shinobi being told to detonate after carving on the skin Explosive Tags.

That's how you win wars. Not with ridiculously overpowered and ultra-complicated plans of doom that involve machinations upon machination and carefully selected things to happen. Just spamming Edo Tensei's explosions works…but it isn't as tension filling and liking as doing machinations is. Isn't it?

Meanwhile, back in Konoha, Ayame was currently fending off an outright invasion of women that were trying, in various ways, to get a spot next to Naruto and his usual 'therapy ramen' session. Just as Naruto, sniffling and with tears brimming his incredibly wide blue eyes was about to order, Teuchi came in with a sad face.

"I'm sorry Naruto." The old man began, "Hokage orders…I can't feed you any more ramen…forever."

Naruto stilled. For a second he said nothing.

Then, quietly, he stood up and left.

A set of furious fires of doom suddenly appeared in the Kunoichis eyes, some particularly furious settled on the Hokage's tower, while a couple went to the ramen stall owner. Those few changed quickly, because Ayame was outright gaping at her father with…not even a promise of murder, but already with the knife in hand.

"Hokage's orders!" Teuchi exclaimed raising his hands in a surrender pose.

"He made Naru-chan cry!" Anko exclaimed, only to be followed by Kurenai.

"That poor boy…he just tingles all my maternal instincts you know?"

A set of nods echoed through the assembled female crowd, before they all turned to move as one to try and console the boy.

"Anyone saw where he went?" A female asked, worry lacing her voice.

And when none answered, the 'as one' became a flurry of panicking women hoping the boy wasn't trying to commit suicide.

The Nidaime no Sairai meanwhile whistled from his spot atop a nearby building.

"Massive Hormone unbalancing medical Jutsu? Done…Tobirama…what a Genius of evil you were!" As the grey haired man chuckled darkly, dark darkening dark clouds of darkness darkened the darky dark atmosphere of the dark apartment where a in the dark Naruto was slowly turning less 'bright' and more 'broken' by the second.

In his mind, he was looking with dead eyes at the Kyuubi, and at his seal.

Slowly, he moved his hand to free the beast.

The Kyuubi watched carefully said motion with perplexity, before receiving the input on what just had brought the boy to do that.

Just as Naruto was about to remove it, the paw of the Kyuubi stopped him at the same time as the Ghost of Minato did.

"Naruto, you shouldn't…Kyuubi!? You're stopping him too!?" Minato's chakra remains exclaimed in shock, as the Kyuubi snorted.

"LIKE HELL I'M GOING OUT THERE WITH THOSE PSYCHOS!" He roared, "I'm staying here. Thanks but no thanks!"

"Ehm…well…what's the problem…son?" Minato tried sounding apologetic, as he looked at the extremely dead eyes of Naruto staring at him.

"They…" He murmured.

"They who?"

"My other selves." He added, "They hit me. Tortured me. Hit me again. And…and…" His voice choked, "They took away my RAMEN!" As he began to wail and cry, Minato was at a loss.

Slowly and embarrassingly, he hugged the boy carefully. Patting his back he began to lull him a light lullaby.

"Can't I….you know…just let it go?" He whispered.

"Son…I'm afraid I can't let you do that."
"Yeah boy, I can't too!" The Kyuubi pointed out, "I mean, the other two turned out pretty cool you know? And I got the Emo one? Come on, transform! Take out the awesome in you! Evolve! Digi-evolve! Make a Fusion! Move to the next level! Use the Awesome-Axe-Effect!"

"I…I know." Naruto whispered, slowly nodding to himself.

"I'll change." The boy added, "I'll become…serious. I'll train really, really hard!"

As Minato and the Kyuubi nodded, Naruto added later on.

"Then I'll become Hokage. I'll fight tooth and nail without a single smile and happy cheesy line on friendship and friends and love and family."

The Kyuubi nodded, Minato was trying to say something but couldn't because the boy was still speaking.

"I'll kill my enemies and avenge the people of the village who will die, I'll kill those who bully me and feast upon their flesh and drink from their bodies their crimson blood!"

The Kyuubi was completely ecstatic at this point, nodding frantically while Minato was a bit green.

"Then with the newfound power of Awesome I'll become Hokage through sweat and blood!"

Minato kind-of nodded at this while the Kyuubi snorted.

"And then, when they'll ask me why I made it this far, I'll say only one thing!"

Both looked at him curiously in wait.

"I did this…"

Years later

Standing on the balcony, as the Rokudaime Hokage of Konoha, Naruto Uzumaki waved at the crowd of Konoha citizenry, half of which was made up of his spawn, the other half of his wives, and somewhere in between the few families made by people who he couldn't charm his way or that had male children.

"And if I came this far, I know the reason! If I came this far and brought me up above all the others and fought for the title, it is for a single reason! And that reason is…"

A deep breath from the Hokage.

"RAMEN!"

Cue massive face-plant.

"I hereby annul the law saying I can't have ramen! Now if you will excuse me, I've got years of ramen intake to take into my body." The man added, before disappearing in a flash of thunder.

Courtesy of a mastered Hiraishin, because he could.

Meanwhile, back in their dimensions, the other two Narutos felt a light shivering sensation, before both looked out of the window and groaned.

Nidaime no Sairai Naruto looked at the orange and black clad teenager with blond hair and cerulean eyes known as 'Cannon-Teenager' Naruto, who was actually standing on top of a phone pole looking over the village. Something about 'yelling at the village he was back'.

Toruna Naruto received instead a letter claiming a strange 'Onii-san' look alike had arrived in Konoha's village, and seeing the incredible resemblance with Minato, Kushina had a rebound and was now actively fighting for him tooth and nail against Katsumi.

Kakashi was asking for advice on the matter through the letter, saying he could always 'Kamui' them to the other corner of the world if things came to a drastic problem.

All in all, however…

The tales of Multiverse and Multidimensions came to an end here.

The best wine is the one in the small keg.

"Pst: It's bottle. Wine in the small bottle." A voice hissed to the Narrator.

"Shut it Kuro, I'm trying to write!" The Narrator whispered back with clenched teeth.

"I'm just saying, you know, the wine is in the small bottle. Why can't there be a good wine in a giant keg is out of my understanding but still…"

"Kuro, get back in the story. Stop harassing me." The Narrator pointed out to the screen, as the black snake rolled his blue eyes before slithering through it.

"Oh, by the way! The Twisted Reality has started, so this story can come to an end safely here!" Kuro exclaimed, "And I already made an appearance together with Yoru! (Course they probably didn't see me)"

"Changed yourself to a more 'normal' approach."

"Yeah yeah Almighty Author 'Tm'"

"Well, enough breaking the fourth wall! Story's off and finished!"

And with that, the end came as the final words were written.

The End.

Author's notes.

And it's done.

Never liked to keep stories 'hanging' If I can finish one, then I do so.

(hope you enjoyed this last chapter)