This little idea came to me during math one day. I just had to write it. :) Why shouldn't you hang portraits in the bedroom? Hermione and Draco find out why. This does have a hint of Salazar/Godric in it. Just a warning. And a few other warnings: I don't currently have a beta yet, so any and all mistakes are MINE. The characters I have used in this little story belong to the lovely JKR. They are not mine, unfortunately. I just use them to heal any cannon wounds I still harbor. :) Please read and enjoy! And drop me a review!
A/N 2: Thank you to the reviewer who pointed out the fact that I'd spelled Godric's name incorrectly! That's all fixed now. :P
The bedroom door opened and the happy, giggling couple just managed to make it into the room and shut the door before the kissing began again.
"Draco, Draco, love, your parents are in the house," the woman said, sighing as her husband kissed down her neck.
"I don't really care," he murmured against her skin. "I don't really care what they think. You're my wife, Hermione, and I think this should be my privilege."
"Your privilege?" Hermione snorted and opened her mouth to scold him, but Draco cut her off.
"Yes. I put up with you every single day," he teased. "I think I deserve a little every now and again."
"Last I checked, you wanted to spend every single day with me."
"Every single day for the rest of my life, witch." He kissed her again and ran his hands down her sides to her waist.
She sighed again and allowed herself to be pulled against him. His arms wrapped around her in a familiar embrace.
"As much as I love hearing you say that," she managed, "that doesn't change the fact that your parents are living here for the time being."
"Are you a witch? Or aren't you?"
"Well yes. What's that got to do with this? I'm just warning you that if we start anything here, they might be able to hear us, and I'd be incredibly embarrassed if – Oh," she said suddenly, realizing what he was getting at.
She blushed prettily and squirmed out of his arms for a moment. She retrieved her wand, mumbled Muffliato, and strode back to his side again. He grinned at her.
"Don't you start now," she mumbled, wrapping a hand around the back of his neck and pulling his mouth down to hers again. He immediately pulled her flush against him again.
"Oh, Merlin's beard, you two are at it again."
Draco groaned and bent to put his forehead against his wife's shoulder. "Get the hell out of here," he growled at the portrait on their wall.
Salazar Slytherin grimaced from the frame. "And go spend time with the idiots in your other paintings?" he snapped. "Not bloody likely."
Godric Gryffindor snickered. "Oh, come now, the young woman in the painting with the sunflowers has definitely taken a liking to you."
"I refuse to be subject to her constant babbling anymore," Salazar huffed, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Her babbling isn't that bad," Gordric said thoughtfully. "I don't exactly appreciate the little crush she has on you, but the conversation is just so... stimulating!"
Salazar smiled. "No sarcasm, Gordric. It doesn't suit you."
"Right, right, sorry," the Gryffindor founder answered, smiling back. "How about we go down to the library?"
"And endure the Marauders? I should think not." The Slyterin crossed his arms over his chest. "I refuse. They can't stand me. Almost as much as I can't stand them."
"Okay, so not to the library. Never happy, this one." Godric nudged Salazar.
"Look, I don't really care where you go. Just get out of this room," Draco pleaded, letting go of his wife and sitting heavily on the foot of their bed. "Please, just leave us alone for a little while." Hermione's smile and stffled giggles gave away her amusement. Draco was not having any of this nonsense, though. He just wanted them out.
Godric glanced at Hermione. She sent him a pleading glance and nodded her head a little. "We'd really appreciate it. I especially would. Much longer and he'll be Mr. Grumpy for the rest of the night. And that's no fun for either of us. Nothing ever actually happens. Well, aside from his brooding."
"Malfoy's don't brood," Draco grumbled.
"You are the King of Brooding, my love."
Godric and Salazar both chuckled; a rare occurance for the latter. "He does always seem grumpy when you two come here for your nightly, ah, rendezvous. Why would that be?" Salazar asked.
"It wouldn't have anything to do with us, would it, Salazar?"
"Of course not, Godric. Couldn't be."
Both men laughed again when Draco glared up at them. "Just go away! I'm sure none of us find voyeurism at all appealing."
Salazar shuddered. "No, I don't. But I can't say the same about this nutter."
"Oi!" Godric exclaimed, looking extremely offended. "I'm not a nutter! And Draco, I'm warning you now that voyeurism becomes much more appealing with old age and second dimmensional life."
Salazar frowned. "You are a sick, old man."
"I'm your sick, old man," Godric said, smiling.
"I don't care who you are, I want you out!" Draco rose from his spot on the bed and fell to his knees, clasping his hands in front of him. "I'm begging you, leave! And I mean it! I'm a Malfoy and we don't do this sort of thing unless we are desperate."
Godric sighed and smiled, reaching his hand out to Salazar. "Come on then. Let's let them be for a while."
Salazar frowned, but took Godric's hand. "Anywhere but that sunflower painting, Godric. And please, don't drag me to the library."
"Of course," the Gryffindor founder agreed, chuckling.
"We could go visit Severus!" Salazar said as the two rose and began walking out of the portrait.
"But he's such a Slytherin!"
The last thing the Malfoy's heard was a slapping sound, followed by a yelp from Godric and Salzar hissing, "And I founded the Slytherins, you moron!"
Hermione smiled and sat beside Draco. "Love?"
He glanced up at her. "Yeah?"
"I want that painting out of our bedroom."
He grinned. "I couldn't agree more. But that can wait until morning." He leaned forward to capture his wife's lips again.
A/N: So what did you think? I'm dying to know! Please leave me a little note in the box below and let me know how it was. :)