Summary: Because he is just one giant whirlwind of ugly rage and destruction and can't stop. He can't.
Genres: Romance / Hurt/Comfort
Characters: Alibaba / Ryuu
Judal had asked him to join.
He said yes.
There was rage. So much rage. And blood and destruction and chaos. Screams and fire crackling skin sizzling were all that filled his ears.
The empress, that bitch. She had finally pushed his limit. The words had barely left her mouth before he'd turned into the dark monster. He hadn't wanted to. He'd fought one before, he remembers vaguely. But it all seems so long ago. Someone was screaming at him to stop. It sounded like Kouha. He can't stop. He's already started and he can't. Just. Stop.
His hand swats him out of his way and he roars.
Kouen was bleeding over the table with Koumei screaming at his side. The monster left the room then. He'd come in a boy and left a whirlwind of rage and death. He could hear her laughing as she runs through the hallways. Judal is with her. They run like children chasing butterflies. Except their murderers and they're killing and destroying everything that happens to be in front of them.
She used to laugh like that with him. She would tickle him under his nose and when he splashed water on her face at bath time and when he'd given her the poorest attempt of an origami flower for a present.
This is all makes him angrier.
Half the palace is in ruins. They have not even gotten to the other side yet.
There are guards throwing things at him, hitting him, cutting him. He cannot see them. He runs past them all, screaming and yelling and shouting for blood to be split. He tramples many as he half flies, half runs through the never ending halls of the palace. His wings are too wide and they're destroying the walls. His claws are cutting into the tiled floor. He used to play with Hakuren on these floors. He screams and chases after them.
He has eyes only for the queen and her laughing magician. He used to love them both.
He cannot say that now.
He is vaguely aware of Kougyoku screaming and crying and hitting him with her magic. He cannot feel it any more. All he feels is rage, rage, rage. He lets a roar, so loud, so piercing that the walls shake. He chases after them.
He hears someone yelling. It sounds like joy. He turns, because joy? Joy has no place here. There is only room for doom and destruction because thats all thats ever been here.
He sees Hakuei clutching a boy, with blue hair and sweet eyes. He knows this boy. The name is dancing over his tongue, just out of reach, like a whisper he can't hear. There are people running behind him, saviors to the dead and the dying. They will die too.
The magician has come. The king, in all his glory, fights. Many people are screaming. There are people in masks. He hates them all, HE HATES THEM ALL. He sees a head of blonde running towards. He stops screaming and looks at him.
He knows his boy. When he had last seen him, he was a boy, filled with shame. When he looks into his eyes now, he sees a determination like nothing he'd ever seen before and it scares him.
He roars and attacks from the air, his dark wings lifting him into the air and blinding them all in the great shadow it casts. The blonde is not fazed. He is here to kill and that is what he will do.
They are so alike, the both of them. The only difference is Alibaba didn't understand himself and made it out okay.
Ryuu knew everything. He'd memorized his every flaw and he was powerless to do anything about it. He was forever doomed to be the fool that could not protect the ones he loved. The one he still did.
Everything is a blur. Someone is stabbing him and he remembers casting magic, so much magic. He is getting weaker and weaker. The boy, the one with rukh swarming like a storm around him approaches him and yells something. And suddenly he is on his knees and there is nothing left to be done.
He can feel the blood seeping out of his skin. And then he can't feel anything.
He dreams of death and dying. He is the one killing, but this time, he is crying and screaming apologies as he stabs a children with a sword. He is human here. Zagan is by his side, breaking everything in their way, laughing.
Hakuei is at the end of his sword. He screams.
He wakes up, covered in cold sweat and shivers running down his back. It is dark and he is alone. His whole body aches with a pain he can't handle and he remembers it all. Every face he crushed, every spell he used, every time Alibaba cut him. Those are the most vivid of his memories. He remembers Alibaba's eyes, those bright, beautiful lights that stare right into him. He remembers every time he raised that sword, and he remembers every time he fell at the monster's hands, only to come back up and go at it again. He is screaming. Screaming for Ryuu and for love and everything he can. He is screaming the name of every God under the sun as and begs their mercy as he watches the monster grow worse. He screams every obscenity he knows, trying to get its attention.
Alibaba starts crying at some point but he can't remember when. He thinks he might have been crying the whole time.
Ryuu crys. His shoulders shake and the tears roll down his face like waterfalls.
The door to his room opens and someone comes to him. He doesn't even look up.
The person has rough, calloused hands and they're holding him tightly, rubbing circles into his back and weaving themselves into his hair. He smells like the perfumed water of the bathhouse , but the smell of blood still lingers like a disease. It won't ever leave them.
There are sweet nothings being whispered into his ear, and kisses being placed on his neck and lips and nose. Ryuu kisses back when he can.
Its painful, for the both of them. It hurts and they've still got wounds littered over both of their bodies, but they want it anyway, they need it. He can't remember when he stopped crying but all he hears is the soft gasping for breath and he's not sure who its coming from. All he feels is the pain and pleasure, the knot in his gut and the blonde hair he is clutching so tightly in his fingers.
He looks at him with eyes that say so much more than his lips ever could. They don't have long. The air that settles on them is stiffening and its suffocating him, when all he wants to do his kiss him and hold his hands and love him more than anything in the world.
He says it first because he knows Alibaba is too scared to ever say it.
"I'm going to die."
And they're both sorry and that's all they've ever been. They've never been good enough and they've both known that. They're disappointments and outcasts and all they have is each other and soon they won't even have that.
They fall asleep wrapped tightly around each other, because this the only time they'll ever get the chance to.
The trial was short, and with no room for objection.
497 days of torture. One for every life that he killed. Three for Hakuei. Three for the empress. Nine for the brothers and sisters that lost their lives to him. He does not object. He will die before his trial is over and everyone knows it. His body won't be able to handle it.
The Kou empire is vicious.
They wake him in the mornings with water, dripping on his forehead. He is tied to a table, with a slow, steady dripping of water on his forehead. The sound is unbearable. Tears stream from his eyes and he tries to escape but he can't because they've bound him down. Sometimes, when Kouha is feeling especially visicious, he pokes him with his knife, over and over again. He has servants poking holes in his legs with needles. When they are down his entire lower body is covered with a pattern of dots and a swirls and blood. At this point, he forgets how to cry.
Everyday, it is different.
Once every few months (is it weeks? days? he can't tell anymore), Kouha comes to him by himself. There are no torturers there with him. He simply talks. He talks about Hakuei and Kougyoku and Kouen's deaths. He goes in full description about the way Ryuu had killed them, killed his own family. He begs and screams at Kouha, begs him to stop.
He doesn't and these days are the worst.
They prolong his death. They give him the best healers the world has ever known. When he wakes up they kill him a thousand times over.
Sinbad thinks he might live. Aladdin does as well. He shows more promise then Dunya did during her time. Alibaba crys when he hears this. No one knows why.
Sometimes he can't see. They keep him in darkness at night, and blind him with bright lamps during the day. His eyesight grows weaker. He can't see sometimes. These moments terrify him and he screams for someone, anyone. He grows angry, so angry, but then they put him in his place and the will slips of his body like silk.
He craves Alibaba's voice. He sneaks into his cell every night. He talks about the world. About the places he'd visited while they'd been apart. He talks about the coliseum and the girl magi and her beauty. About Al Sarmen and their downfall. And every night, just before he leaves, he kisses him and whispers the same words against his lips.
This is enough. His voice is more than enough. It is not long before his eyesight leaves him all together. Alibaba's hands are rough but he craves their touch anyway. To have his fingers trace his cheeks. To have them run through his hair. To have them slip over his skin like he's learned to do so pleasantly.
When the torture is over, they let him out of his cell and into the world. He is banished from the Empire, he no longer cares. There is too much blood there. He would never be able to live there anyway.
Aladdin is holding his hand and leading him places. He is weak now. He can't go anywhere with out someones help, because of his blindness. He has learned not to care. Alibaba once told him a story of a blind fighter that was the strongest in his country. Perhaps Hakuryuu could become like him.
Perhaps then, Alibaba would tell stories of him.
When he steps outside, the sun is like heaven on his skin. It feels like the color blue. He doesn't know why. But it just does. This is enough to bring him to tears. He reaches for Alibaba's hand and holds it tightly.
He learns to walk without his eyes. Sinbad speaks of a blind girl that knew everything around her just by telling with her feet. Ryuu decides that he'll learn how to do this. He won't be weak. He won't.
Alibaba takes him away from Kou, away from everyone they've ever known. They've given up everything for each other and the thought makes his knees weak.
He tastes like cheap rum and peaches, he learns. It must be something he eats.
Ryuu acquires a taste for such things. No one knows why.