That's gross!

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from the Sons of Anarchy and do not earn any money from the publication of my stories, I am merely borrowing them for my own amusement and hopefully the amusement of any who read my words.

Summary: Following the chat he had with his daughter Ellie in 'Birds and the Bees', Opie now been told by Lyla that he has to have one with his son Kenny and stepson Piper but it does not quite go as planned.

Opie was spending the day with his son Kenny and stepson Piper after Lyla decided to go with the rest of the old ladies on a Spa day taking his daughter Ellie with her. It would be a perfect chance she had told him for her and Ellie to have some bonding time together and also she pointed out to him to have 'the chat' with the boys, now that he had managed to have the same chat with Ellie and survive said talk.

He thought back to the talk that he had had with his daughter and hoped that the talk with the two boys did not go as badly as the one he had had with Ellie. Had he known that she had already been given the 'talk' by Lyla and the school had started implementing sex education lessons the year before, he would not have had to gone through the embarrassment he had done with Ellie.

He recalled Lyla telling him afterwards that she had told him the year before that the school had sent a letter home asking all the parents for permission to teach their children about what was happening to them as they grew older bit he could not remember the letter.

"Boys we need to have a chat."

"About what?" Kenny asked.

"About the changes that the two of you will be starting to go through as you get older and how you will start feeling about those changes and other things."

Piper and Kenny glanced at each other.

"What other things?"


"Oooh dad, girls are gross!"

"Yeah they are." Piper agreed with Kenny.

"I know boys but eventually you won't feel like that about them and there are things that you will want to start doing with them."

"What things?" Kenny asked.

Piper had been quite happy just listening to Kenny and his stepdad talk but when he heard his stepbrother's question he could keep quiet no longer.

"Dad's talking about sex Kenny, about when we will be fucking girls."


Piper turned and looked at Opie.

"Oh please…My mom is a porn star! Do you honestly think I don't know about sex and what happens between a man and a woman or two women come to that and it's not like you don't know what is going on, I mean how else did you get Kenny and Ellie or did you find them under the gooseberry bush?"

"Oh that's gross Piper, I don't even want to think about my mom and pops doing that."

"Well it's what they did Kenny, what everyone does?"

Piper told his stepbrother in disbelieve that Kenny was that innocent about the ways of the world.

"I don't even want to think about it. I'm out of here."

Kenny jumped down from the table that the three of them had been sat at, in disgust and ran towards his bedroom. He was totally grossed out of thinking about his parents having sex, parents were too old for things like that he told himself.

Back in the kitchen Opie and Piper were staring at the space made by Kenny running from the room and at each other across the table.

"Well that went well." Piper said looking at Opie.