Hey you guys, I'm back! Okay, I got kind-of good reception in the last chapter, so keep those reviews coming! Also, be on alert of a series of drabbles coming from me for this section. They will involve cake and turkey and Psy.


Part 2: Horrible Friends

"Susan? Susan, my dear? Are you alright?" Doctor Cockroach asked softly, rapping on the bathroom door with a knuckle. He paused for a moment, listening intently for Susan's response. He could hear her sniffling again before the sound of heavy, and yet, dainty footsteps reached him. He took a few steps back as the door before him creaked open slowly. Standing behind it was Susan. Her pretty face was flushed and tear-stained, her brilliant blue eyes red and puffy, and her snowy-white hair all mussed up. She was dressed in heavy black sweatpants and a loose grey T-shirt that were custom made for her. The poor young woman looked positively miserable.

"Oh, my poor dear." Dr. Cockroach said softly, shaking his head in sympathy. Susan had been here only for a little over a month, and she was probably extremely unprepared for something so shocking to strike so hard. She wiped her face with the back of her hand, sniffling again. She forced a smile on her lips, feigning bravery for her dearest friend.

"I'm okay, Doc. I've ruined one of my good wash towels, though." She said bitterly. The cockroach man forty-two feet below her chuckled in empathy and extended his hand upwards to her, as if an offer to caress her face. Susan bent down, the mad scientist below her noticing the grimace of pain she gave and tried to hide. She extended her hand for her friend to climb onto. He neatly sat himself down on the edge of her fingers, holding on tight as she lifted him into the air. Susan lifted Dr. Cockroach onto her shoulder, depositing him beside her ear. He settled down and gave her index finger a brief, comforting squeeze before she dropped her hand.

"It shall be replaced. Come, let us take a walk to the common room." He said. Susan nodded and began to walk, barefooted, to the common room of the monsters. She had her own table, where she sat every morning to drink her mug of coffee and begin the day. However, today she looked positively despondent. She wrapped her arms around herself staring at the ground. The man on her shoulder leaned over from where he sat, placing the back of his hand on her jaw.

"I am so sorry, Susan." He said comfortingly. The poor woman shook with the effort of not crying again. How stupid was this? And to make her friends go through this as well. They probably didn't even know what the hell was happening, or the magnitude of such.

"No, I'm sorry, Doc. I didn't even think about this." She said dejectedly as she sat down in her chair. However, Dr. Cockroach remained on her shoulder, listening to her speak. Sometimes, an ear and a person willing to listen is all a sad woman needs. "I thought, once I was a giant monster, that this wouldn't really happen. I mean…" She finished her sentence with a sigh of defeat. She dropped her head into her hands with a groan. Dr. Cockroach scooted closer to Susan's ear, raising a soothing hand and touching her temple. Susan sighed again, reaching up with a hand and cupping it around her friend.

"My dear girl, I know that every woman goes through this. There is no reason you need to apologize." The scientist said gently, running a few strands of snowy hair between his deft fingers and absentmindedly beginning to braid it. He knew a few tactics in order to calm upset women. Playing with their hair was one of them. Or, at least, it worked with English women. He had to keep reminding himself American women were much different. Nonetheless, Susan didn't make one objection to the attention

"I know, but it isn't fair to get you guys all mixed up in this. I just didn't know what to do. Link and Monger must be so embarrassed. How're Insectosaurus and B.O.B. taking it?" Susan asked, turning her head to look down at her friend, still perched on her shoulder.

"Actually, we felt it best to keep this from B.O.B. Insectosaurus is just fine with it. And Link and Warren aren't embarrassed. Just…rather surprised. And don't you worry, my dear. I've sent them all out to assist you. Everything will be alright." Dr. Cockroach said soothingly. Susan gave a weak smile, which quickly faded into a frown.

"Yeah, but…why? There's no point!" Susan said, her long, elegant fingers curling into fists. Dr. Cockroach tensed up, ceasing braiding her hair. He saw her fists begin to shake, and he took that as his cue to get off of her shoulder as quickly as possible. He slid down her arm and landed on the table, standing up. He was quite lucky in being able to spot the signs of when a woman is about to explode. Because that is just what Susan did in that moment. She stood up, the chair legs scraping against the metal floor. She seized the chair and, with a scream of frustration, threw it across the room. It struck the ground with a formidable clang, landing on its side. Dr. Cockroach jumped in surprise. Susan stood there panting, her lower lip quivering.

"What is the point?! I am a giant woman, for God's sake! The cramps are ten times more painful, and- and – I mean, I'm never having kids anyway! So why do I have to go through this torture?!" She screamed the questions at no one in particular. With that, she seized the table. Dr. Cockroach, who was still standing on the table, gave a surprised cry. He clambered down the table leg as quickly as possible. Yet, he was merely halfway when the table was violently flung onto its side. He made a jump at the last minute, landing gracefully on the ground. A very angry Susan proceeded to use her immense strength to destroy the common room. Her fists left huge dents in the metallic walls. The table and chair were soon smashed to bits. All the while, Susan screamed and sobbed in frustration.

Doctor Cockroach backed up quickly, making no attempt to stop her from her rampage. His shaking hands made their way to his pocket, where he extracted a thin cell phone (Gifted to him by Susan, insisting everyone keep one after a strange incident in France). Sliding it open, he pressed the number as fast as his trembling fingers would allow. Holding the phone up to his ear, he heard the ring three times before a very strained, dark voice answered, "….What."

"Hello, General. I just wanted to check up on your progress. How are you faring in your task?" The scientist asked, trying to hide the desperation in his voice.

"How do yah think I'm doin'?" Monger bellowed over the phone, making Dr. Cockroach's ears ring. "Apparently Wal-Mart has a new law against buying a hundred and seventy-six bottles of god damn Midol! Did you know about that, Doc? Hmmm? I'm standing here looking like a fool with a shopping cart full of pills! What'dya think they think?" Dr. Cockroach sighed softly. He really hadn't considered that variable. Suddenly, the phone vibrated in his hand, indicating that he had a call coming in.

"Ah, Monger? I must go, but please, do what you can for Susan." Dr. Cockroach said pleadingly. He hung up just in time to hear a bout of colorful profanity issued at him. Pressing another button, he was immediately connected with Link.

"Alright, genius. I'm here in this stupid town with a chocolate bar the size of you. But, I don't have any dough to pay for it. This lady here says I can't put it on a tab that hasn't been used for fifty years. And who the heck is Sebastian Collins? Was he some dude you experimented on?" Link asked in exasperation. Dr. Cockroach rolled his hazel eyes.

"Something of that nature, yes. Anyway, Link, try and persuade them. Please, tell them it's an emergency…" he glanced over at Susan, who was proceeding to grab her chair and rip it apart. "A dire emergency." He heard Link sigh in frustration over the phone, making the speaker crackle. It was interrupted by another loud clang, and shrieking metal as Susan managed to tear one of the legs from the table. Fresh tears streamed down her cheeks as she continued her frustrated temper-tantrum. There was a pause on the phone, and then Link's shocked and worried voice.

"What…was that?" He asked cautiously, not really knowing if he wanted to know the answer. Dr. Cockroach sighed to himself and glanced over at Susan, concern for his friend filling him to the very brim. She continued to rip the table apart, and he knew that Monger was not going to be happy. Oh well, at least the manufacturers would receive some well-eared overtime pay.

"A dire emergency, Link. Hurry it up." Dr. Cockroach said before he hung up the phone and stuffed it back into his pocket. He sighed again, wondering how he could possibly pacify the rampaging female before his friends arrived back home. He ran a hand over his smooth head, bending his antennae backwards. Although he was brilliant and intensely intellectual, the poor scientist was running out of ideas for what to do in this instance. Swallowing nervously and adjusting his sweater collar, the insect man walked slowly up to the giant woman. She had finished her work in destroying the table and was now sitting down, panting from exertion. She pulled her knees to her chest, shaking. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she buried her face in her hands. Doctor Cockroach approached her silently. He halted beside her right foot, reaching out with a consoling hand to pat her immense ankle.

"Dearest Susan. It's alright. Our friends shall be back before we even know it! Then you shall feel much better. However, in the interim, perhaps –" The doctor began before he had to take a leap backwards to stay clear of Susan's mighty swing.

"What do you care? What do any of them care? Have they even ever seen a woman?" Susan growled, standing up once more. Dr. Cockroach skittered out of the way of the feet of the giant woman before she crushed him. Not that he would die – but it wasn't good for the back. "Monger hasn't had to deal with this in years! He told me his girls all went off to college. Link? He hasn't seen a woman since those bikini-clad sticks on Cocoa Beach! Do any of you know how hard this is for me? To be the only girl, surrounded by nothing but a bunch of stupid guys? But I'm trying to be brave! I'm trying to look on the bright side and give this a shot! At least I somewhat fit in here! But noooooo! Not at all! I have to be the only woman! And when I really need some help, you guys are off gallivanting around!"

"Y'know, since Derek I've learned what a real man is. It doesn't matter if you're a monster, or an alien, or a human," Susan continued her rant as she restlessly paced around the common room. "What matters is that you take care of your woman, or even a friend who happens to be female. Right now, that happens to be me. That is what real men do. They don't care if they're embarrassed. They show that they love their friend, no matter what she has to deal with!" Susan suddenly stopped, and turned sharply. Her puffy blue eyes locked right on the scientist below. He froze as well, finding himself shuddering at where her upset monologue was heading next. He soon found out as Susan pointed an accusing finger in his direction.

"You! I just bet that they used you to distract me! Pretending to listen to what I have to say. Y'know, while growing up, all the guys picked on me. I tried to be nice, and I remember them pushing me down in the mud. That's why I tried so hard to love Derek. I thought I'd found a real, loving guy. I tried to think that not all guys are bad. Well, you're proving me wrong, aren't you?! You guys seemed to care – to really, kinda love me – and then, at the first sign of trouble, it's, 'Let's ditch Susan! She won't care!' Well, you know what guys?! I KIND OF DO!" Susan screamed, punctuating the final word with a fearsome backhand in Dr. Cockroach's direction. The poor insect man couldn't scurry out of the way fast enough. The tip of Susan's fingers clipped him in the side, sending the poor scientist flying with a startled cry. He hurtled right into the destroyed table and finally landing on the floor with a dull thud. He lay on his back for a few seconds, motionless. Susan gasped in horror, freezing for a few seconds, her hands flying to her mouth in shock. She then rushed over to the ruins of the table immediately reaching forward with a hand. With as gentle a pressure she could muster, she slipped her fingers underneath the motionless Dr. Cockroach His large hazel eyes were closed, and his arms and legs hung limp from Susan's hand as she lifted him towards her.

"Oh God, oh, Doc! Doc, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to. I really didn't! Please wake up, Doc, I didn't mean it!" Susan sobbed, giving the stunned scientist a brief shake. His eyes fluttered open and he slowly sat up, giving a small groan as his back audibly creaked.

"Oh, dear. Ah…what a…what a good, ah…um, workout! Yes! It does wonders for the exoskeleton! Ah-heh-heh…" The doctor chuckled good-naturedly. He tried to stand in Susan's hand, visibly wincing in pain as he straightened his back. Not to mention the intense jolt of pain that streaked through his shoulder. He was half-cockroach, after all, and it would be rather difficult to actually hurt and, or, kill him. But Susan was pretty strong. The poor woman lifted the aching doctor to her face for a closer inspection.

"Oh, my God! Are you okay? Oh, thank goodness you're okay." Susan said, holding him up to her cheek in relief, her own variation of a hug. Dr. Cockroach grunted as her hand was pressed against his aching back, his shoulder pressed up against her cheekbone. Susan heard him, and pulled him away, looking upon him with shock.

"You're hurt! I hurt you! Oh…" Susan cried, her lower lip trembling. She gently lowered her friend to the floor, depositing him quickly and standing up. He stumbled slightly, rubbing the back of his head. One of his antennae was bent forward at a sharp angle. He reached up and gently straightened it, wincing as he did so. Susan stared down at him with a look of misery and horror etched onto her face. The poor woman just simply couldn't take it any longer. Tears leaked out of her eyes as Dr. Cockroach looked up at her.

"Oh, my dear, please don't cry. It's alrigh –" He began gently, before he was cut off by Susan's sobbing. She buried her face in her hands, walking past him briskly.

"I'm so sorry. I'm such a horrible friend! No wonder the other guys took off." Susan sobbed as she walked to her room, striking a button pad next to the entrance with her fist. The enormous door slammed shut, making the entire common room shake. Doctor Cockroach looked after his friend, frowning dejectedly. He sighed and sat down on a piece of the ruined table, putting his large head in his hands. He was going to have to work fast for his plan to help Susan. He loathed seeing his dearest friend in so much pain, both physically and emotionally. It just couldn't be helped – that much he knew. Not without the proper ingredients.

Sighing again, the mad scientist slowly slid down onto the floor. He neatly shrugged his lab coat from his shoulders, leaving only his grey turtleneck in its place. Deftly folding the garment into a perfect square he placed it behind his head and lay down, right there on the floor. Feeling defeated and empty the cockroach man proceeded to stretch out his aching back and shoulder. His bent antennae twitched as he stared and the fluorescent lights. With that, he progressed to quietly reciting the Periodic table to himself as he awaited the much-anticipated return of his friends.