All they wanted was a little quiet. Alex and Justin had been fighting almost continuously for three and half weeks! The family was disgusted. Finally, the family decided to lock Justin and Alex in the master bedroom until they resolved their issues.

That had been a huge mistake.

"Dork."
"Idiot."

"Nerd."

"Moron!"

"Deliquent!"

"He hee…. Yeah… I am. Boo-boo McCutiekins."

"Don't you call me that T-bone McChewtoy!"

They had progressed into hating each other for their relationships. Jerry and Theresa were beyond their wits' end. Suicide was looking intelligent now. There were the remnants of pranks everywhere. The two had gone into all-out war. The dark circles under the eyes of Max, Jerry, and Theresa were testament to their children's ability to keep the fight going well into the night.

"How can you be a neat freak but kiss a girl who was around during the Black Plague?"

"Well, at least a dog's mouth is cleaner than yours. I should ask Mason why he kisses you!" An indignant huff sounded, and a slap was heard. Then sounds of wrestling "Get off the bed, Alex!"

"It's not yours Justin!"
"It's not yours either, Alex!"
More wrestling sounds. Then there was a tearing sound.

"My shirt!"

Another tearing sound, accompanied by Justin shrieking, "My shirt!"

Shrieks emanated, coupled with accusations that Alex was going to end up a stripper. Jerry looked over at his poor wife. There had been no peace lately. At this point, he did not even want to eat pudding to make himself feel better.

"Alex, let go of me!"
"Ha, you're such a girl!" Another rip, "I'm surprised you don't have boobs."

"Neither do you!"

They could practically hear Alex's mouth go into an 'O' shape, "You are so dead!"

More fighting, more noise.

Twenty minutes later, there were no more tearing sounds. Apparently they were out of clothes to tear, "Justin!" "ALEX!"

Then there was silence. Theresa looked at Jerry, "Are they… do you think they've killed each other?" He blinked stupidly, too exhausted to care. They stared at each other while odd noises came from the bedroom.

"Mom, Dad!" Max cried angrily, "Alex and Justin are jumping on the bed!"

The couple exchanged a look.

"You don't let me jump on the bed!"

Max was upset he was not allowed to join in. They listened and heard rhythmic squeaking.

Squeaky squeak squeaky squeak squeaky squeak squeaky squeak squeaky squeak squeaky squeak

Jerry exchanged a look of confusion with his wife. Then an understanding dawned on them.

"No… they wouldn't!"

"They hate each other."
"Of course, all that passion building up…"
The noise increased, Squeaky squeak squeaky squeak squeaky squeak squeaky squeak squeaky squeak squeaky squeak squeaky squeak squeaky squeak.

Theresa looked at her husband in horror when a loud moan was heard, "Uh…"
"Oh Justin…"

"They're resolving their issues. That's all we asked of them," Jerry continued, "That's just Alex being emotional. He probably just apologized. "

Theresa nodded, and pretended with her husband, "OH JUSTIN! Faster!"

She looked her husband in the eye. They both bolted up the stairs. Theresa was about to knock on the door when her husband stopped her.

"What?!" Demanded Theresa.

Jerry hesitated, "Look, what're we going to do here?"

"Stop them!"
"Then what?!"

She looked at him quizzically, "Isn't that enough?"

(The noise continued in the background.)

He took a deep breath, "Don't you think we have some shopping to do?"

Theresa eyed him coolly, "You want to leave the house while these two are-!"

"Jumping on the bed?"
The rhythmic squeaking intensified. The head board banged loudly enough to shake the walls. Then there was a thud as two bodies hit the floor. The groans intensified.

"It's this or they go back to fighting."
Theresa growled irritably. They exchanged a look. As unthinkable as it was, this was venting all that pent up energy. Moans shook the walls. Twin groans pierced the minds of the Russo parents, pure, animal roars. Then, there was silence.

A minute later, Alex, wearing only her mother's robe, walked out with messed up hair, and a vacant- but blissful look about her, "wonderful day, ain't it?"

Justin followed with a faraway look in his eyes. He did not even bother to correct her grammar.

The Russo parents looked on in horror.

But at least it was quiet.