The Window-Washer's Opinion
A short by Vikki
Disclaimer: I don't own Spider-Man – he's the property of Mary Jane Watson! XD Okay, okay, Marvel owns him too.
Notes: This is (very loosely) based in the Ultimate Spider-Man universe. If it actually matters. ::Rolls eyes and grins:: Enjoy!
* * * * *
Harold Smith was the man's name. He had yellow-blonde hair, the beginnings of a goatee, and dark blue eyes; his clothes were baggy blue jeans and a messy black T-shirt.
His friends had warned the TV reporter not to ask him about Spider-Man, but she paid no heed.
She snapped on the camera and turned to Harold Smith. "Mr. Smith, I understand that you're a window-washer?"
"That, and I repair minor damage to high-rises," the young man replied.
"So, tell us, what do you think of Spider-Man?"
"I have two words for you, ma'am – more money."
"Spider-Man crawls up and down those buildings and uses that webbing stuff to swing between 'em, right? Well, I hear it claimed that the webbing dissolves after only like an hour, but I'm telling you, it leaves a sticky residue on windows. And I can't tell you how many building managers have had me come in to remove smudges on the outside of eighty-story windows. And another thing – he leaves grooves in the bricks!"
"Could … could you explain that?"
"It's like he's skidding or something! I'll see long trails of grooves dug into the bricks and stones of some high-rise, and I'm telling you, it's like he slid down the wall with his fingers digging holes into the brick! And that's the sort of minor damage I repair, so more money for me."
The reporter raised one eyebrow. "That's … interesting. Any last words before we wrap up?"
"Yeah – Spider-Man, if you're watching this, I'm telling you – don't leave NYC anytime soon! I'm saving up to buy me a nice condo! Oh, and by the way - hi, Mom!"
The reporter, incredulous now, turned to the camera. "And there you have it, folks – a window-washer's opinion on Spider-Man, and how he's given the window-washing business a boom."
* * *
"Well, at least somebody likes you," Mary Jane observed as she shut off the TV.
Peter buried his head in his hands and groaned. "I'm a hero to the window washers! Great!"
* * * * *
Author's Notes: Er … just don't ask. It was an amusing idea at the time, really! XD I was just taking a break from torturing poor Peter and I thought about all the damage he does when he's falling too fast and he can't get a grip on a wall (he leaves those grooves Smith was talking about) and what sort of marks he must leave on windows when he crawls on them.
Hope you enjoyed!