The Window-Washer's Opinion

A short by Vikki

Disclaimer:  I don't own Spider-Man – he's the property of Mary Jane Watson!  XD  Okay, okay, Marvel owns him too.

Notes:  This is (very loosely) based in the Ultimate Spider-Man universe.  If it actually matters.  ::Rolls eyes and grins:: Enjoy!

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Harold Smith was the man's name.  He had yellow-blonde hair, the beginnings of a goatee, and dark blue eyes; his clothes were baggy blue jeans and a messy black T-shirt.

His friends had warned the TV reporter not to ask him about Spider-Man, but she paid no heed.

She snapped on the camera and turned to Harold Smith.  "Mr. Smith, I understand that you're a window-washer?"

"That, and I repair minor damage to high-rises," the young man replied.

"So, tell us, what do you think of Spider-Man?"

"I have two words for you, ma'am – more money."


"Spider-Man crawls up and down those buildings and uses that webbing stuff to swing between 'em, right?  Well, I hear it claimed that the webbing dissolves after only like an hour, but I'm telling you, it leaves a sticky residue on windows.  And I can't tell you how many building managers have had me come in to remove smudges on the outside of eighty-story windows.  And another thing – he leaves grooves in the bricks!"

"Could … could you explain that?"

"It's like he's skidding or something!  I'll see long trails of grooves dug into the bricks and stones of some high-rise, and I'm telling you, it's like he slid down the wall with his fingers digging holes into the brick!  And that's the sort of minor damage I repair, so more money for me."

The reporter raised one eyebrow.  "That's … interesting.  Any last words before we wrap up?"

"Yeah – Spider-Man, if you're watching this, I'm telling you – don't leave NYC anytime soon!  I'm saving up to buy me a nice condo!  Oh, and by the way - hi, Mom!"

The reporter, incredulous now, turned to the camera.  "And there you have it, folks – a window-washer's opinion on Spider-Man, and how he's given the window-washing business a boom."

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"Well, at least somebody likes you," Mary Jane observed as she shut off the TV.

Peter buried his head in his hands and groaned.  "I'm a hero to the window washers!  Great!"

MJ laughed.

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Author's Notes:  Er … just don't ask.  It was an amusing idea at the time, really!  XD  I was just taking a break from torturing poor Peter and I thought about all the damage he does when he's falling too fast and he can't get a grip on a wall (he leaves those grooves Smith was talking about) and what sort of marks he must leave on windows when he crawls on them.

Hope you enjoyed!