I just love Dr. Blowhole, and I've wanted to work with him on ever since I bought the DVD Operation: Blowhole. My favorite line from him, besides, "How I've longed for this day, to see my arch enemy totally pwned!", is "Always make time to moisturize." So that's where this story got its name, just a look into the daily life of our favorite dolphin villain.
Always Make Time to Moisturize
A Day in the Life of Dr. Blowhole
The room was dark, and nothing was moving except the numbers on the electronic clock in the corner of the room. The light blue dolphin sat on his rough bed, tossing and turning trying to stay asleep, but his subconscious was always thinking, the poor man had never had a good night sleep since the accident in the Ring of Fire and had scarred and damaged his eye. This made his eye unusable, so his first act as an evil genius was to create an eye piece to replace, or at the very least cover up his lost lens. The red numbers on the clock turned to 7:30 and the little device beeped its wires out. The dolphin turned over and covered his ear holes with his flippers and groaned, but found the sound to be too piercing to his ears. He reached over to the clock and slapped down on the number that said 'Snooze', and after he rubbed the eye slot that usually had the eye mask over it, but he didn't where it when he slept. After a deep breath he reached to the wall next to his bed and pressed a button on a panel he had embedded in his chamber.
"Red One…" He moaned out due to his tired state. No more than two seconds passed before he saw the light flash on the intercom and he heard his minion's voice back through the microphone.
"Yeah Doc…?" Red One said, Blowhole rubbed his head, and then pressed the button down again.
"Remind me…whose idea was it for me to r-i-i-i-i-i-se at 7:30 in the morning?" He asked his loyal lobster. To which he heard,
"Uh…that was you Doc…" He responded,
"Oh, who enforced it?"
"That was you too…"
"Who supported it first?"
"That would be…" As Blowhole heard a shuffling of papers through the microphone on Red One's side, "Lobster 34…"
"Put him on Fish Duty today, I'm not f-e-e-e-e-e-e-ling the best today." He told him, and let go of the button and lied back down on his bed. A deep breath, and he was ready to get back up, he sat up from his pillow and grabbed his eye piece from a hook on the wall near his intercom panel and placed it on his head and shook around to make sure it didn't fall off. Afterwards he pressed the button on his eye lens and he heard his Segway beep and turn on and began to roll to him. He saw it come in a door and he grabbed the handles with his flippers and pulled himself up. After he was comfortably on it he turned it all the way up and drove over to the door to exit his personal quarters. He entered the code to the heavy metal door, 11374265, and about nine locks opened up and the huge door slowly rose up and he went underneath it. As he came out and into Hallway 35.4 in his lair underneath Coney Island, Red One was right there to greet him.
"Morning Doc…" He said.
"Not in the mood Red One…is everyone already gathered in the main chamber for today's scheming?" He asked hoping he didn't have to do anything.
"Yes, they're already there, and Lobster 34 said he'd be right back with your fish bucket."
"What is he bringing back?" Blowhole asked, he was in the mood for a special fish today.
"I told him to get you some Alaskan King Salmon, why?" Red One asked him, hoping he had done something right without getting another stern lecture from Blowhole about doing a task wrong.
"No, no, no…after the night I had I want some tuna. The more brain power, the better…" He said and rode his little Segway all the way down through the hallways to Chamber 5.7 where he did the majority of his fear lectures and lobster meetings. Once he rode past all the lobsters at their posts by their respective buttons and panels, he went up to his little area around the upwards spiral leading to the main panel in the room. "Minions…!" Blowhole shrieked, "Today is a perfect milestone in our history, for today is the day we finally destroy the peng-yoo-ins, this is going to be executed by…" He was interrupted by someone beaming in on the intercom on his eye piece. He groaned in frustration and pressed the button on his Segway to put them through. "What is it Red One?" The lobster was put on speaker and an image of him came up on the big screen in front of them at the front of the room.
"Hey Doc…we're having a small problem in the Nerve Center Area. Some of the crates and thingamabobs are malfunctioning and the others can't seem to figure it out." Blowhole placed a flipper on his face and slid it off like he was prone to being the only one who did work around this place.
"Fine…tell the other to b-e-e-e-e-e-e-e ready for me when I arrive." He said, and pulled back into the center of his top panel and pushed yet another button, causing the floor beneath him to begin to lower; it was a small, dolphin sized elevator. "While I'm gone everyone try to center in on some silver, we need a transition metal that can be conductive for my newest plan, and I know it will work this time." And the lobsters began typing on their keyboards and pushed buttons while the Doctor himself descended down into a much lower portion of his lair.
While in the elevator, the evil genius was listening to a Dolphy Parton song. (Get it…? Dolly Parton…?) It wasn't a particular favorite of his, but that's probably why it was registered as elevator music. Once he arrived on the Nerve Center floor, Red One was right there to greet him, but Blowhole was in no mood to be greeted by anyone, not even his most trusted lobster. "Ah Doc, we think that…"
"Save it Red One, I am in no mood for this right not. And where is #34? I expected my tuna a half an hour ago, and now that st-u-u-u-u-u-pid Dolphy Parton song is stuck in my head. Now I need the fish for brain power, and to help me think of something to replace that song, maybe I could sing something myself instead." He wondered, as he knew he was a good singer prior to the event with the Evil MP3 player.
"I'll get him on the intercom right now…" Red One said and walked over to the panel on the wall and pushed one of the many buttons and spoke into it, "Paging #34…paging #34, your fish is late getting to the boss." A few seconds, no answer. "Number 34…" Red One said again, but this time there was an answer.
"Yeah sorry about that, the lever was stuck in the down position…" But Blowhole interrupted their talk,
"I don't care what happened down there, just bring me my fish, n-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-w!" He yelled, but also wobbled with his voice like he always had. After he did that he ran down Hallway 72.8 and entered a large room with a conveyer belt. Getting patched on it were numerous crates labeled 'Sardines', but the lobsters packing and fiddling with them were scurrying around and grabbing tools, for the claws that moved the packs from one belt to another had started grabbing everything and just randomly tossed what they grabbed.
"It's been this way since they started, the malfunction must've been sometime last night."
Dr. Blowhole pondered Red One's statement, and knew what the major problem was after he did a little observing. "Fetch Number 25, I have a question for him, suddenly…I'm in the mood for lobster." He said in a maniacal voice, showing he was still evil as ever. After he said his threat he rolled over to a device, which then lunged down to grab him, but instead missed and grabbed his Segway and yanked it away from him. This made him fall to the floor while he just groaned again in annoyance and called for the nearby lobsters. "I'll handle the grips here since all of you put together obviously can't…so that means all I ask is that someone fetch me one of the Segway spares I have, AND WILL SOMEONE GET ME MY TUNA!" Blowhole yelled.
A ding was heard as all the lobsters in the area moved about and Number 34 came out of the elevator from Floor 47 with a big bucket of tuna, at long last. He moved his way over to the toppled Blowhole, lying almost helplessly on the ground without his Segway, and Red One when to retrieve one of the spares. "Here Doc…" Said #34, "All the tuna you can eat…" He said and grabbed a tuna fish in his pincer and sliced it into smaller pieces for a bite size experience, tuna were a big enough fish as it was.
"Thank you 34, finally, something has gone right." Blowhole and caught the first bit of tuna to be throw at him. It was sweet and tangy, a well-deserved wait for the delectable Omega-3 contents. Red One then came along shortly as well with the Segway and pushed it up against Blowhole's side.
"Here you go Doc, right and ready." Blowhole then pressed a button on his eye piece and the vehicle lowered its front half down to his body and he pulled himself onto it.
"Thank you Red One, Number 34…follow me…I'm going to need a lot of fish…" And he pulled away towards a security panel with 34 following him. Once he got within reaching distance of the panel, he leaned over the front of his ride and opened the door behind the controls and fiddled with lot of wires and then pressed a button. It was then that he pulled a level down and all the grabbing claws stopped moving and the majority of the lights suddenly shut off with them. "There…I've reset the system, so now in a few minute everything should comeback on to normal."
"What was the problem Doc?" Number 34 asked.
"Someone spilled juice on the controls, and the only lobster who was here late enough last night to do so was…" A light came on and struggling was heard behind them. All three of them turned around to see two lobsters gripping another lobster, and then threw him on the floor in front of the dolphin boss. "Number 25…satisfied?"
The little red lobster pleaded, but he should've figured who he was pleading to. "I swear it was an accident Doc. I thought the cup was stable near there…it fell over after I left! I didn't even know about it until this morning." But Blowhole rolled up to him and leaned down and got in his face,
"You know that big pot of water I keep in the back at a slow, steady boil? Next to the movie butter…?" The lobster nodded, "Meet your new friend…" And Blowhole rolled away with Number 25 being dragged away, screaming, but no one cared, after all, Blowhole made the 'Pot of Water' threat so many times, and he had lobster for dinner so infrequently. But if he didn't follow through with his threats once in a while, his minions would forget who he was, and his reputation would be rocked.
Sometime after the incident with 25, Blowhole moved over into his personal lab on Floor 05 in Hallway 5.3 to try and experiment with a new monster he'd been thinking of doing for a while. His vision was that he'd have a creature that would be ferocious on land and sea, something he could scare all kinds of creatures with. He started off with a sea bird, but it wouldn't focus on anything for too long, even with the hormone enhancement he tried. Soon after came the idea to try a dinosaur, namely a Tyrannosaurus, he had the technology to get one, so why not? It wound up not going so well, turns out, if you poke a T-Rex's snout too many times, and then try to tell it it's never going to mate…well, it gets pretty mad. He never should've tried imputing the steroids into its system. Many different animals went through Blowhole's mind, but he decided on just simply trying out one of his simple lobster minions. He had Number 81 sent in and zapped him with a super conductive ray that warped his molecules into a gargantuan state. Of course, he had no name for this creature, only what he wanted to do with it.
At approximately 8:30 PM, for he had spent all day in the lab working on what would become Chrome Claw, he re-entered his main room, Chamber 5.7, and got up on top like he had earlier in the day. He turned on his speaker and spoke to his lobster subjects. "Thank you everyone for your hard and noble work today, even though I'm sure we've learned our lessons from the Juice Disaster. From now on, no one shall be allowed in the labs or construction areas after I've gone to sleep, after all, I'm sure no one wants to b-e-e-e-e-e-e-e another 25, now do we?" Red One walked up behind Blowhole after his speech about the day's work to the other lobsters and held a plate with Blowhole's dinner on it, which was of course…lobster.
"Here you go Doc, steamed like you wanted."
"Thank you Red One…" He said and took the plate, and Red One walked away. "Now I know I said something about conquering the peng-yoo-ins earlier, and I know nothing has happened, but I have been informed that there's no silver within miles of here. So instead, I've decide to turn towards strength instead of conductivity, so I will use chrome. Well…that and it's the only thing we found besides tin, and we all know how bad tin is for this kind of thing." He looked around seeing if anyone got the joke, but no lobster did anything, all the crustaceans just stared blankly. "Am I the only one who…oh never mind…" And he rolled away carrying his plate with him to his bed chamber. He used a 0.0 Ray to have his plate slightly hover in the air while he imputed the code to his personal quarters, 56247311, and rolled in and closed it behind him again. He turned on the television on the other side of his room after he got off his Segway and held his plate up ready for some food. It wasn't really a TV though; all it really was was a series of surveillance cameras placed around the Central Park Zoo. He watched and watched, but nothing. Soon enough he just put the plate down on the floor and hit one of the buttons on his intercom, which shut off the lights and the TV footage and he rolled over, ready to get a good night's sleep. After a minute, he opened his eyes and rolled them.
"I forgot to moisturize…"
Well that was rather fulfilling, I haven't done anything on FanFiction in several days and I actually started this particular Fic back in August but forgot about it. Who knew right? Anyway, this was really fun to do, and I think I kept Blowhole in character, wise-cracking, but still cruel and unorthodox, as he is an evil genius. I think I've done good, happy reading everyone!