Journal Entry 019

It's been a while.

I never did delete any of those silly details. That's fine though, by now I'm pretty sure nobody's going to be reading this anytime soon. On the bright side, none of us are dead either, and it's all because I took initiative.

I've been thinking about that a lot, actually. Delphi I mean. Sure I'm used to saving lives – and when I say that I don't mean to sound my own horn – but as a medic, it kind of comes with the territory. Still, we got a lot of people out of a really bad situation and none of that would have happened if I hadn't sent out that datalog. What I'm trying to say is that it hit me today, looking at the this crew – a population I'm now a part of – but some of these people, some of these strong, brave, charismatic people wouldn't be here right now if it wasn't for me. Drift, Pipes, Maximus... even Ratchet – the Ratchet. Okay, so he took care of Pharma all on his own, and I don't know how he did it, but even he wouldn't have been able to administer the cure to everyone, nor himself, not in time at any rate, not in the state he was in. I helped there too you know? I actually helped fix Ratchet.

What I'm saying is that I guess the log saved all us. Well, except for Pharma obviously, but he ended up being psychotic anyway - which is really more than a shame since Ratchet was right, he was a great surgeon. The medical world will be a darker place without him. The rest of the world... yeah, not so much.

I don't think I'm being clear but that's probably just me and details again. I'll leave them in. What I'm trying to say is that I think I'm going to try and take some more initiative. I've been on this ship for months, and while it's great to have a change of scenery, the medical facilities kind of pale compared to Delphi. That's to be expected of course since Delphi was an actual clinic and the Lost Light is, well, I'm not really sure what it is anymore. Apparently is used to house a sparkeater. On the bright side though, some of the crew are actual Wreckers! I think I've already mentioned this, maybe entry 011? I'll have to go back and check, but I'm getting off track. This is about me and taking risks, taking that initiative Ambulon said I never went for.

It can get a little lonely here. After six months there wasn't much left of the old outpost staff since most of them died with the rust plague. And sure, there's lots of new faces onboard the ship, but still, I haven't really hooked up with anyone yet. I mean most people avoid the medical staff in that way, and I get it, I do. When two thirds are Ratchet and Ambulon, you can't help but avoid them. I'm pretty sure with their powers combined they emit this five yard thick forcefield of sheer tetchyness. That still leaves one third though, and I don't think I'm all that bad.

Rung might have something to say about that, but Ratchet'll set him straight. I'm chief medical officer (in training), after all.

But right, I'm getting distracted again, it's just that I'm actually kind of nervous about this all. I've had my eye on a couple people though! There's actually a lot of lookers on this ship – I'm kind of amazed. Take Sunstreaker for instance, they weren't joking when they said he had a great finish. Too bad he goes everywhere with that pet of his; it creeps me out. Then there's Drift. I mean wow, DRIFT. I didn't think I'd ever meet a wrecker in the metal, let alone help save his life, but wow, seriously, he's got to be one of the most handsome people I've ever seen. He's way out of my league. So's Chromedome, actually. Guy's not as shapely as the others, but he's got a great sense of humour. I think he's tied up with Rewind somehow though and I don't really want to mess with whatever dynamic they've got going on. They're always together. That still leaves a lot of folk, but I think I'm going to try and approach Skids. There's something about him, I just can't place it. Oh sure, he's got a great physique, and he's funny, and adventurous, patient too if the way he deals with Swerve is anything to go by. But it's none of that. Maybe it's just because he seems really easy going and accepting. He's just so... so... – His shift just ended and I have to go.

He'll be at Swerve's I'm pretty sure. He usually is.

Wish me luck.