Who in this world understands me more than him? No one. He alone is my muse. My sanity lies in his hands and I'm wondering if I putting way too much on his shoulders.

Of Course its too much, are you an Idiot? Why should he even care?

The voice is right, of course. When is it not? I should have left him alone years ago, life would've been so much easier for him.

Without your sorry ass, he would be happy. He would've had some sort of childhood.

Dean. He gave up so much for me. He's been caring for me since I was six months old. I owe him everything, I owe him my life, my soul, my being. But I hurt him, he left me because I hurt him too much.

After all he gave you, you still did all that shit. Did you really think he was going to forgive you? That he would tell you it didn't matter. Call you Sammy? You don't deserve that, you deserve suffering. You deserve all the pain he felt and more.

Yes I do, I deserve this, I am a freak. I am a monster.

I am the one that ruined, my brothers, Dean Winchesters life.