Note and Disclaimer: Obviously, we all don't own WKRP in Cincinnati and the music that's been played on the show (even though it's not played on the Season 1 DVD, which kinda sucked). However, the character of Kitty Evans Johnson (and others not on the show) is mine, so don't use her without permission (or any others I've made up). Thank you!
Old-time music filled my ears, making my eyes droop down in sleepiness once more. I was tired enough as it was from my hectic life, so the music that I played for the rich and nose-in-the-air people was a bit too much for me, the former Kitty of the Atlantic Coasts. I could tell that this job was making me more and more sleepy as the days passed and my former day job became a dream. I needed something…well, I don't know, different…before I went home to madness, so this was just another day in Heaven's Harpland.
I mean, it was the same routine, the same day-to-day activities that were making my head spin with confusion and shame. Each and every day, as the DJ for the lucrative (and snobby) Boston station WUPS, I played this crappy, boring elevator music. So basically, every morning, from five AM to one PM, I played the morning show on the station. Each and every time, I fall asleep around ten o'clock, my snores always arousing the attention of my fellow female DJ, Gayle Simon.
Gayle, in the meantime, would slowly sneak into the booth while I was sleeping (and snoring, for sure catching the attention of the sales person, that little snitch Fiona Jay). She would gently shake my shoulder, waking me up in an instant, and give me a cup of her famous military brand coffee before she was caught in the booth with me. Hell, I mean, after all, she and I were supposed to be separated, seeing as how we caused too much trouble as it was at WUPS. And her breaking the new rule like that was kind enough for me.
I yawned, knowing that it had already been past that time when I saw Gayle and her God saving coffee. And this time, behind her was Fiona and her stack of folders in her arms, so the station manager, Danny Craig, was sure to be told of this. It won't be a happy scene in his office with the both of us probably getting fired, but I knew that it was perhaps time that I left Boston with my nephew and started anew someplace else anyway.
Besides, life had gotten pretty boring as it is and it was time for a change.
Yawning again, I looked up at the clock at the corner ticking the seconds away, knowing I had almost two and a half hours left until I was allowed to leave, although Fiona was sure to be bitchin' me out when I leave. She hated me leaving as early as I did (contracts were my savior, literally), so snide comments always followed in my wake, all the way to my car. Already, I was thinking about ending early today and remembering how I had a laundry list of things to do before I picked up my nephew from daycare. I didn't need Fiona to remind of how lucky I usually am, even with the great responsibility on my shoulders.
However, it was when Sentimental Journey was still playing (and me wishing that I was actually playing Journey) that there was a soft knock on my booth door. I looked at the door and then to the clock again, knowing that it wasn't time for Gayle to do the afternoon and evening show. Somebody was going to bother me while I worked.
What the hell is going on here?
The new program director of the month, Lyle Christy, popped his head into the booth and smiled at me, waving to ask permission to enter my domain before I fell asleep again. He knew that I hated the music format at this station, so he was usually making a crack at me about how the wild cat of both coasts ended up with a boring job. I mean, it had been a month since he had arrived (surviving longer than most program directors do here), but he and I were already the best of friends (like I was with Gayle). He was constantly trying to get me back into my former act and get my career back on the road…and put WUPS on the road to some rock n roll music.
Lyle, however, was in no joking mood when he entered the booth. "Boss wants you in his office pronto," he only said, crossing his arms in a stubborn stance.
"What does he want?" I only asked back as I swung my chair around to face him, keeping my eyes open just for him. Danny never usually ordered me to his office (except in cases where Gayle and I were fooling around), so it was unusual to see Lyle so clearly upset about me leaving my post and the crappy music.
"I was just the messenger. Danny doesn't tell me anything." Lyle almost pouted with that big lower lip of his, but I knew better to keep that huge quivering lug quiet.
"But, I thought that Danny only confines in Fiona about office business and his personal body, if his wife isn't coming around." I only had to say the name of our common enemy and the muscles tensed up immediately, my shot hitting the target dead-on.
"Fiona hasn't been privy to this information, Kitty. And it involves you."
"Me?" I played innocent too well.
"Yeah, the Boss wants you in his office to discuss moving you to Cincinnati, Ohio."
"Ohio? What in bloody hell is in Cincinnati, Ohio?"
Lyle only had to tell me to get my butt moving from this sleepy little station, but I couldn't tell if he was lying to cheer me up. "Only one of the best rock stations in the country, Kitty. You're most likely heading there to be the DJ, my friend!"
Dreams of my career coming back up were soon doused in flames. Who the hell was I kidding? Me, Kitty Evans (AKA Catherine Johnson, but nobody needed to know that), back to being the Kitty of the Atlantic Coasts was stupid as hell. England kicked me out for being lewd and immoral after a loyal following made me famous. America loved me for a while and then pushed me to the quiet corners of the country after my last rock station fired me for saying "ass" on the air.
Jumping from radio station to radio station and supporting probably the only child I'll ever raise had been difficult, if you know what being a parent is all about. So, to hear Lyle talk about moving me back to rock was amazing, to say the least, but it also seemed like another scheme to get me prominent once more with failure in sight.
It also got me thinking, too, perhaps on wishful thinking on my part. Could this be the chance that I've been dreaming of for a couple of years now? Will Ohio bring me back to the fame that I've loved and then lost?
"Me, a DJ in Cincinnati, Ohio? Give me a break, Lyle." I sighed, pretending to show him the negative turmoil in my mind about being a rock DJ once more. "You've said this before and nothing has come of it. Why should this time be any different?"
"This time, it's real, Kitty." Lyle smile again. "Andy Travers, the program director from WKRP, is here to see you about an opening for a DJ position. Apparently, their two head DJs there can't take long shifts anymore and need somebody in-between their programs, for a different kind of show other than a gospel spell, gongs and fevers. You've been chosen to be their DJ, Kitty. How does that strike you?"
"Well, it smells like a phony little plan Danny has got going," I admitted honestly, watching the old record of Sentimental Journey slowly hit its climax and then die down. "However, if this is actually true this time, then I'll head to Danny's office and check it out. It might be something that I've been looking for since being shipped here to Boston. I don't know, though."
"Something's gotta give sometime, Kitty, and you've been the cat with nine lives. You have been satisfied with each new job you've been perfected for, but each life dies with it. You've been able to get back on your feet again afterward, but it's tougher with each new life."
"For how long, though?" I laughed bitterly, pushing myself to get to Danny's office. "Listen, you take my place here and I'll head off to see Danny and this…Andy Travers guy from Cincinnati. Got it?"
Lyle put his hands up in defeat quickly as I jumped out of my chair too enthusiastically and started my engines. "You've got me, kiddo. Now, go knock off some big shot guys in the office. I'm sure you'll get the job you've always wanted."
"I sure hope so," I only replied back, running out the door as fast as I could.