Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, nor the song.

Inuyasha © Rumiko Takahashi

You Will Never Be © Julia Sheer

Just a Pawn

Dear World,

The nostalgic feeling welled up in my chest once again, watching from afar... This is what I was always putting up with, it was a terrible feeling but I survived and that's all that mattered... I loved him.

How did we ever come to this,

I never thought you'd be,

We had separated a year ago because I had finally had enough of his womanising ways, now... I felt incomplete, only half of the warrior I used to be.

Someone I have to miss,

My heart was constricting in my chest every time I thought about you, but now I know the feelings were completely one-sided. I felt as if my heart had split in two, you taking half of it away...

And there I was caught in your game,

Needing answers that never came,

I always asked if you were happy, Miroku. If you loved me as much as I loved you, I'm just a pawn, you're the player and this is the big 'game'.

And we took a chance,

You said you were strong,

You promised you'd never cheat on me again, you'd never give into your habits again because you wanted only, now I see how deep your promises swim...

Strong enough,

but you were wrong...

Every day you'd go to work, come back late and give me silence, not uttering a word. I'd get paranoid and sad, you didn't spare me a glance. I didn't understand you, I worked full time as a Lawyer and still had time for you, to put food on the table, do the laundry and wash the dishes... Yet I wasn't even worth a "hello".

And now I'm deafened by the silence,

blinded by the tears,

I confronted you about it, let you see my tears for the first time, but you still didn't utter a word, just gave me that disgusted look, as if I wasn't your wife, but some dirty hooker.

So when I found you cheating again, I couldn't take it, I didn't want to be the 'other' girl, I wanted to be your 'now'. I cried so much, I broke down and ran to Kagome, to rely on my best friend because she was the only one who understood because Inuyasha had been the same. She was strong now, because she had Sesshomaru, they had three sweet half-demon kids that entertained me, made me lose track of the shadow of my past; of you.

If you're looking for forgiveness,

you won't find it here,

When Sesshomaru found you on Kagome's doorstep, that was the biggest mistake you made, coming back with your tail between your legs. Kagome ripped into you with no mercy, it was the angriest she had ever been, she cared more about her friends than she did herself, which was why she wasn't as angry when Inuyasha was caught. That's what I adored about her, the fact that she was so strong even after living the life she had lived. It was devastatingly beautiful.

Cause you lied your way to heartbreak,

but now it's all too clear,

So when you told me that you loved me, I had the urge to destroy you, if it wasn't for Kagome, it wouldn't have ended at a broken nose...

That you will never be...

But before that, during our 'relationship', I had seen you with so many girls, I just put it behind me because I loved you, I wanted to keep you. I'm not the type to be possessive, so I let you have your freedom... Now I'm with Kagome, have been for a year, living happily with her family of five, still watching you from a distance. I hope the new girl you have won't leave you like I did...

Look at her,

She won't ever compare,

You can say your sorry,

But I still don't care,

Kagome always tells me that I'm much better than the bimbo you have on your arm, she says to never accept your apologies, I think she's right.

Was she worth this mess,

was she worth this pain,

Then I noticed it, the signature red tints in her hair, the big blue eyes... She was the girl you were always with, she was the complete opposite of me. It wrenched my heart, the pain was just bearable...

You can say it's her fault,

but you're both to blame...

You said she "seduced" you, I didn't think so then and I don't think so now. It's quite clear just how loyal your heart is.

Looking back it was all so easy,
I hope you know you're my last mistake,
Don't come around and say you need me,
I won't stay...

Now that I look into my past, you never showed signs that you loved me, I was like a ghost, you used my body, you used my heart... You used my soul.

Deafened by your silence,
Blinded by the tears,
If you're looking for forgiveness,
You won't find that here,
Cause you lied your way to heartbreak,
And now it's all too clear,
That you will never be...

That you will never be...

Goodbye, Miroku. Remember me well. Never forget what a bastard you are and how I was possibly the best thing that ever happened to you.

I've finally fell out of love.



Well, this is a sort of diary? With a song, too. It's about Miroku and Sango, obviously, it's my first attempt, too. Thanks for reading and review please? :)