Sat Dec 2, 2006

Hi V,

Sorry it's been a while since I last updated you, but I've been busy to be honest, trying to distract myself from remembering fully the last time I saw dad, 2 months ago today. I don't think I'll ever forget what I said & did to him that night – Aside from my cerebral palsy & mom's death, it is my main regret in life. He's been taking care of me & my cerebral palsy since I was first diagnosed with it 20yrs ago & I acted like a total bitch who didn't owe him a thing, & I'm going to have to live with that for the rest of my life…

Anyway, back to the positive & the 'here & now'. Since last we 'spoke' I have spent the past 2 months 'dashing' from place to place, 'seeing the sights' & helping Samir to run his "business operation", where I 'acquire' rare & important artifacts from museums for Samir to then sell on back to their home country. I suppose you could say, if you waved away the illegality aspect of it, I'm ensuring the liberation & safe return of artifacts to people who actually care for it, who actually appreciate it for what it is, rather than for it to be stuck in a dusty old museum "for always & eternity", being stared at by fat, balding, overweight Americans who couldn't give 2 figs about the rise & fall of the Roman empire or the Trojan horse. Ok, yes, to some I could be seen as a 'thief', nut I prefer to think of myself more as a provider of the means to keep some historical or cultural artifacts 'viewable' in their home country, where they belong, so that people who would actually want to see it, or take pleasure from the historical & cultural impact that it had on their country's past going – Those who would actually appreciate it for whatever it truly was, rather than 'just another old relic'… For the right financial reimbursement, of course…

For a couple of days after leaving home I was forced to live on the streets I was forced to live on the streets of Calgary. Now, it's not as bad as you think, yes it can be cold at night (especially as it's the middle of winter), but you gain a sense of community &, I suppose, camaraderie that you may not have necessarily had if you permanently had a roof over your head 24-7 & being able to ear whenever & wherever you wished, but out there, on the streets, it's like they are all equal & no one person is higher or lower up in 'status' than the other, no matter who they were 'before' – They're all in this together & for that I suppose they truly have my respect & affection.

At the moment I'm in a small apartment building which I'm paying for through my 'fee' from Samir's business, but more on that later as I need to consolidate all my thoughts together before I leave for Paris in the morning, &, when there I'm going to call dad, just to say how much I miss him & try to see if there's anyway that we can work through what happened, as it is almost Christmas, the one time of year where families need to be together & we're all each other has.

So, until tomorrow V…

DBM