If I retched one more time, I thought I might have to cut out my stomach.
The night after I discovered my mother was alive, I had fainted out of sheer exhaustion from the day and all the revelations. It was almost too much to handle for a young woman, but like always, I survived.
When I awoke, Nolan was gone and I saw there was vomit on the couch. Great, I'd thought, that'll be worse to clean out than blood. I'd felt a need to hurl again and made a mad dash for the toilet, but realized I'd have a better chance getting to the sink and ran there instead. I'd hurled for ten minutes, and then fainted again.
That brought me to where I am now, lying on my bed with someone's hand on my forehead. I shook myself awake at the feeling.
"Dad?" I whispered out, clinging to some foolish, desperate hope that it was him soothing a fever.
"Fraid' it's just your good ol' Mr. Ross, Ems."
I jerked my head away from him and rolled my eyes.
"How the hell did you get in here, Nolan?" I groaned.
"Child's play, you left your door open."
That caused me to sit up and glare at him.
"You didn't lock it? What the hell were you thinking?! Someone could've-"
"Just went home for a bit, to get you some more intel from the box of evidence. Found you hurling and I've been here for an hour." He said, stuffing his face with Cheetos.
"Wash your hands before you give me whatever you have," I said, barely standing.
After doing just that, he took out a pen drive and plugged it into his laptop, which he'd left for me the previous night.
"By the way Ems, this might disturb you some more…"
"Nothing disturbs me, you should know that." I countered. "What?"
"Just found the Hamptons prince with a significant lack of clothing, a bottle of booze in one hand, and the hired help in the other, on his mother's little perch."
I glared at him. "Ashley?"
"Unless that was Bianca Lawson, yeah, the worst party planner in the world was kissing up your ex."
I sighed. "Typical. Daniel's always been a playboy."
"Are you angry?"
"Not really, I don't want him back if he's going to protect his father."
Just as he was about to open up the file on his computer, I clutched at my stomach again.
"God damn it…" I muttered as I rushed to the sink and hurled even more.
"I can't even… eat… anymore…." I said in between vomiting.
Nolan came over and held my hair back as I upchucked more and more of my stomach contents until I felt as though my lungs might combust.
"You should see a doctor," he said.
"No," I hissed. "No doctors, no hospital, no nothing." I stumbled into my bathroom.
"What are you looking for?" he asked.
I began to scramble around in search of the one thing that might explain all my problems.
"Where is the stick, damn it, where is the stick?!" I shouted.
"Emily, calm down! What stick?"
As I pulled a drawer out of its hinges, I found it.
"THERE!" I whispered with relief. I began to scramble opening the box, one of hundreds I had been purchasing ever since my relationship with Daniel had become serious. Even when I started to love him, I still was hesitant.
"Nolan, get out for a second." I said.
"I said go!" and he shut the door.
"Okay…" I whispered. "Let's hope he kept up with my demands…"
I opened the box and took my answer out of its foil wrapper, and then washed my hands.
"Alright, you can do this, Aman-Emily. You can do it. Calm down…"
Normally I had a lot of confidence, but in this recurrent desperation I lost all composure as I struggled to prevent the unthinkable. I then hovered just above the toilet and pulled down my pants, urinating into a small cup included with the box. Once that was done, I the stick and dipped it into the cup for five seconds.
"Please, please…" I whispered. "Please, no…"
When I realized my eyes were squeezed shut, I opened them and stared down at the screen.
"It's a plus…" I whispered.
I quickly dropped the cup, box and stick into the trash bin. Maybe, after just a second, I'll forget about it, I thought. Yes, it didn't happen.
Who am I kidding? It did.
Nolan knocked on the door. "Emily, you okay?"
I didn't answer.
The tears had come slowly at first, before I began to sob. Not violently, but not softly either.
"Damn it, Ems, you can't keep me in the dark about these things any more!"
I stood up and opened the door, then sank back against the wall.
"Hey, Ems, what is it?" I wiped tears away, ashamed he was seeing the vindictive Emily Thorne crying.
"Emily, come on…"
Sniffing, I could only form the word,
Nolan did a double-take. "WHAT?! O-M-G, for the second time in a row..."
I clutched at my stomach, now having the knowledge of why I was sick. I wasn't catching the winter flu or exhausted from all the revelations of yesterday.
I was pregnant, and it was all his fault.
"Emily… you're saying, you're pregnant, too, like Amanda?" Nolan asked.
"So, it must be Daniel's."
That was the only logical explanation: Daniel, the spawn of my sworn enemy, his own mother, got me pregnant. I was carrying the grandchild of Victoria and Conrad, the people who destroyed my family.
"I told Daniel every time we had sex to wear a condom, said I believed in that dumb tradition of marriage before pregnancy,"
I rubbed my belly and continued, "But I guess that it went south a few nights ago, when you got kidnapped. He was exhausted, and I'd forgotten all about our little rule… so he ejaculated inside of me, and now I'm pregnant."
"Are you going to tell him?"
I glared at him. "Hell no! I'm going to the abortion clinic,"
"Wait!" I glared at him as I was standing up. "Ems… are you sure you want to do that?"
"Don't tell me you're pro-life," I said.
"No, no, of course not, I think girls can do whatever they want with their bodies. Anyway… do you really want to end the baby's life? Haven't you ever wanted a family?"
"Not one where I was married to the offspring of my enemy, nor where I continued his wretched family." I said.
"Wasn't marrying him part of the plan?"
"It probably will have to be now; I just hope I can keep him from talking me into having children." I said.
"And besides, I'm not the right kind of person to be a mother. I don't know anything about motherhood because I never had one for most of my life, and I'm evil, Nolan. My baby would only be in danger. What if Victoria found out who I was and took my baby from me? Attachment is a dangerous game."
He was unfazed by my rambling.
"And if you makes you feel any better," I said to him, "I'd sooner have your baby than his."