A/N: This is my very first Loving Annabelle FanFiction, it is also my first femmslash story. I hope you all enjoy this, I had fun writing it. I own nothing from Loving Annabelle, God knows I wish I owned Simone *swoon* Ok on with the story!
It had all happened so fast. One moment I was confessing to what I had done with Annabelle and the next thing I knew, they were taking me away from her. I have heard people say that when they are torn from the one they truly love, the world seems to slowly crack around them like broken glass under pressure, and then suddenly just breaks down around them until they are left with utter darkness. That's not how it felt when they took me away from my Annabelle, not even in the slightest bit.
When they took me away it was more like a feeling of being numb, like all of my feelings had vanished the moment I gave up on myself. I had already lost Amanda and now I lost Annabelle; how could I be so stupid? As they put me in the long black government car I didn't even bother to buckle myself in, I just sat there staring straight ahead of me. My own aunt had called the law on me; then again I didn't blame her. To her, what I did was wrong, and I didn't expect her to understand. My thoughts began to wander to Annabelle again and I slowly wiggled my fingers to feel at what she had put in my hand when I last saw her face.
Her prayer beads; that's what she had given me. In a way it surprised me because the first girl she ever fell in love with had given them to her, it would have been like me giving her Amanda's cross; it made no sense. But in a way, it made all the sense in the world. It meant she loved me more than that other girl, that she was willing to let go of that last reminder of their time together and to put her heart in my hands. It also meant that no matter what she would always be with me, a silent promise I found to be so comforting on my ride to my dimly lit future.
I wound and unwound the Buddhist prayer beads around my fingers as my mind wandered to the one night I got to bask in the love and affection of my beautiful Annabelle. I could have sworn that I still felt the brush of her lips against my skin, the taste of her mouth on my own, the tingling feeling of her fingers against my most private places. It had been a long time since I made love that that was real love, but that night I had. When we made love it was more than just sex like it had been with Michael, with her it was real love.
I pulled myself from my thoughts of her and looked up at the rearview mirror, looking at my own reflection. What I saw was a woman who looked emotionless in the face, yet her eyes were so lonely. How did that reflection show so well yet so off base of how I felt? Simple, because it was a reflection of me, one of my current heart ache.
My eyes caught soft movement in the mirror that hadn't been my own and slowly glanced at the other pair of eyes in the mirror, the driver was looking at me. His gaze was somewhat judgmental yet also a bit sympathetic. I expected no sympathy or understanding from anyone, I didn't think anyone but Annabelle would understand. I knew that what I had done was wrong by society and wrong by my God, but how could something so wrong and so shameful feel so right and so perfect?
I looked back down at the beads in my hands and I felt a soft smile, an almost bitter sweet one, grow on my face. She did love me, I knew she did, this proved it. She wouldn't have cried for me when they took me away if she didn't, she wouldn't have given me her prayer beads if she didn't. Our relationship may have been started because of lust, longing, loneliness and curiosity, but it turned into such a beautiful love.
No matter how all of this may have turned out, I don't regret anything I did with or felt for Annabelle. She brought me out of a very dark place in my life and showed me that it was ok to love again, that I had to fight through my deep rooted fear of pain so that I could find my way to something worthwhile. She will never understand how much she has done for me and how much she means to me. I could say something poetic like 'She is the air that I breath, I need her to live' or 'She showed me what it meant to love someone and never give up on them' and they would all be true, but none of it would be able to express how deeply I feel for her.
I don't know what will become of my future and I don't know if I will ever be able to be with Annabelle again. But I know that she was worth every bit of trouble I could ever get into. As she said, we didn't do anything wrong. We fell in love.