Author's Note: I'm so glad everyone loved the last chapter! I never expected to get such a positive response! Let's move on to the next one shall we? I know I said that another chapter was my favorite but I lied. This one is probably my absolute favorite! Thank you Elissa (Oh thank you so much! Don't be sad though here's the next one!), GinnyCavanaugh-Saunders (Thank you! Can I just say I adore Cause and Effect! It's so adorable! Much like my own! :D), Show Time (Thanks! I really worked hard on it!), HeadBangerChick123 (It's okay for being hyper! I was when I wrote this, hehehe. ;D Your questions will be answered!), Kayla Crystal (I know right? I made Zig really stupid, desperate and guilt written in this story. Muahaha.), TurboWiz70 (Here I go with torturing you again! :O Oh my! I'm sorry sis!), Degrassi- fan12 (Nope, everyone does by what they say in their reviews! :D), Cosmic Rain (Do you think I'm taking after The Cliffhanger Girl? :o Perhaps, or maybe I just love to keep you all in suspense. :D And for their secret place? Use your imagination! But thanks, I like to take my time with my writing and make it flow together ya know? And perhaps they'll heal together! You'll see when you read! :D), shellcottages (Oh my, again? That's how many times! Sorry sweetie! I tried to keep most of it happy though! And aww, thanks for the awards! :D), kristimazing (I was in such a rush to get this out because I was so excited to update that I didn't really do a clean sweep of it, I apologize. But glad you're enjoying it! Thanks for favoriting and following this by the way! Really means a lot to me!) and dnyarko (Thanks!)! Plus my followers and people that favorited! And now the moment you've all been waiting for! I hope you enjoy chapter eighteen! :)
Maya couldn't believe what she was seeing, her boyfriend had just cut himself all over and had screamed that she deserved Zig. Did Zig tell him? She couldn't bare to see him in so much pain. But tears were in her eyes at what he had just done.
"Cam." She gazed at his arms, blood seeping through everywhere it could possibly go. A sob escaped her lips as she stood there completely frozen. He looked terrified, looking at her reaction and to what he had just done. He threw the hockey skate as far as he could before burying his head in his hands.
"I'm sorry Maya, I'm sorry you had to find out like this." He sobbed, she ran to him and grabbed his hands, pulling him to her. She held him close, tears falling down her cheeks while he grabbed on to her and continued to wail. She rubbed his back, comforting him as best as she could.
"What are you doing to yourself Cam?" She pulled away, trying to look at his sleeves but he pulled away from her. "Please, just show me."
"I can't! You'll leave me!" He rubbed furiously at his tears, but they were only replaced with new ones.
"No I won't, please show me." She begged, he turned towards her before holding out his arms. She gently took his sleeves and rolled them up, exposing all the cuts, all the pain that he had done to himself, both old and new. "Oh Cam."
"I'm a loser Maya, a failure, all of this." He pointed to his cuts. "It's a part of me! I can't control it and no matter how many times I want to stop I just can't!" She traced gently over his scars, and wiped the blood off his new ones.
"But this isn't a way to deal with the pain Cam."
"It is to me Maya! I didn't want to show you because-." He trailed off, looking away from her.
"Because you'd run away, break up with me again, think I'm a pathetic excuse for a boyfriend, that I'm weak and no good for you. "
"Oh Cam I don't think that at all, I really do care about you. More than you could ever know."
"Is that why you want Zig over me?" She froze, her brain trying to process what he just said.
"You heard me Maya, you want Zig. Why?"
"Cam I don't want Zig, I want you."
"Do you promise?"
"Yes, I do." She looked away, terrible guilt filling her stomach. He had just revealed his dark secret to her, and it was about to get more real. "Why are you cutting Cam? Please don't shut me away, we're suppose to be honest." She heard him sigh before he turned away from her, he looked down at his arms, holding pressure to the small cut he started to make on his wrist.
"I- my-." She saw him sigh, she figured he had some trouble figuring out where to begin.
"Take your time."
"It all started a few years ago, everything was fine. I just-I don't know what happened. Remember how I told you about Justin?" She nodded.
"Yeah, you two always played hockey together."
"Yeah, well. I lost him Maya. Both him and my dad, they were killed in a car accident." He sniffled, trying to wipe his tears again. "And I've been a nervous wreck ever since. They were-my support team, and now they're not even here anymore. It just-it tears me away inside. They were my biggest support system when it came to hockey and that was just ripped away from me! I lost my strength, I lost myself. And I don't know if I'll ever be found." Maya wrapped her arm around him and pulled him into an embrace again, he clung to her tightly laying his head on her shoulder. She kissed his head and gripped his hand, gently running her fingers over his knuckles.
"This is why you started cutting?"
"Yes." He mumbled. "All of that pressure of losing not one but two loved ones, I told myself that I would play hockey in their memory. But the team treats me like crap, and I'm far away from my mom, brother and sister, and it's just hard. I don't know what to do Maya, I always feel like giving up. And then Zig tells me that he wants to break up with Tori and immediately I think of you! I don't want you to ever go away, the thought of it makes me hurt really bad." Maya felt sick, Zig had caused Cam to do this. When she found him he would wish he never kissed her.
"Did he say anything else?"
"No, just that he didn't want Tori anymore."
"Please Maya, don't leave me. Please. What will I do without you?"
"I won't leave you." She felt the guilt again, he had revealed his pain and heartfelt past of secrets and she was still hiding one from him. But hers was much worse than that, in fact she was wondering if this really would be the end of them. But she was about to take that chance, she wasn't going to hide it anymore.
I have to tell him.
Cam felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of his shoulders, he had told his girlfriend and not only that but she hadn't ran away like he thought she would. She had been there, and begged him to try and stop. That made him feel like someone did care, and because of that he would now try and control his cutting and depression. He had someone that was proud of him, and cared about him. Maya was the only person he told so far, and he was so glad that he did. It didn't change her opinions towards him at all. And it would stay that way, he wasn't ready to tell his mom yet. She would flip.
"You cut your wrist Cam." He saw her grab his wrist and gently run her fingers over it, he had forgot to mention that he almost killed himself.
"Um yeah, I know." He tried to calm himself down, he was so nervous and upset. His body wasn't dealing with so much emotions very well. He suddenly felt sick and ran to the bushes before emptying the contents of his stomach. He felt Maya behind him, rubbing his back gently. He turned to her, preparing to tell her the worst part.
"Maya, there's something else you should know."
"Okay." He watched her nervously look around before meeting his eyes again.
"My wrist is cut because, I broke down and-I thought of killing myself." That had done it, she burst into tears and ran away from him towards the rock that they had previously sat on. He chased her, knowing that would be what broke the camel's back.
"No no no no." He heard her whispering to herself, he sat beside her and pulled her close to him. She clung to him tightly. "What if I hadn't gotten here in time? Would you have done it?"
"I-I don't know." He stuttered, feeling pathetic. He couldn't kill himself, he didn't want to leave behind the most important person in his life.
"I don't understand why this is happening. I never saw it because you always looked so happy!"
"I know, I'm so sorry. Please don't hate me. But I'm going to work better at it, I promise."
"I don't hate you! I love you!" He was very taken back. Did she just admit that she loved him?
"Y-you love me?"
"Yes! I do! Very much!"
"I love you too Maya." She looked up at him, a small smile growing across her face.
"Ever since the day I met you." She hugged him tightly, and he hugged her back. He felt a sense of security and also like he was being protected. He could just feel Justin and his father smiling down at him. They would of wanted him to move on and be happy. But it'd still be a tough battle to win.
"I miss you Cam." She whispered to him every so softly.
"I'm right here Maya, I'm not going anywhere." He stroked her cheek, pushing a strand of hair out of her face. She looked beautiful to him, like an angel in a ray of sun light.
"I don't want to lose you Cam." Her tears stained her cheeks, he shook his head and wiped them away.
"You're not going to, I won't let it happen. I promise."
"Then you have to stop Cam, please. Do it for me."
"I will, I promise. As long as I have you by my side." He pulled her close to him and kissed her with every amount of feeling he had in him. Maya pulled away, giving him a small smile before she stood up.
"You always will. But there's something I need to confess as well." He sighed, feeling this wasn't going to be good either.
"When we were broken up." She turned to him, and tears formed in her eyes again. "I kissed Zig."
My heart just broke in half.