"If there is an afterlife, then maybe I'll see you there" – these had been Brax's last words to me before he died peacefully in hospital after been stabbed. It hadn't been his fault, it had been mine. If I had got Brax's message sooner, then maybe he'd still be alive, maybe he'd still be with him, holding me whilst I cried myself to sleep every night…
He'd been gone seven days, a week. 168 hours, 10,080 minutes and 604,800 seconds. I sat on the beach, on the warm sand, aimlessly playing with it whilst I started into space, into the horizon. Brax was there, somewhere, watching over me. I knew that much. He'd told me he'd always be there for me, always looking out for me, and that I should try and move on with my life, but right now? I couldn't see myself doing that…
"I love you, you know that right?" his voice asked as I sat on the beach all alone
"Yeah, I know" I replied, biting my lip to stop the tears flowing
"Don't cry" he begged "I need you to be strong and brave Charl, just like I know you can be"
"I can't be Brax. You were the one who made me strong. Without you I'm gonna fall apart" I admitted
"No you're not. You've got Rubes, Bianca, Casey, Heath and everyone else. They're all gonna support you, they'll all be there" he informed me
"But they're not you" I replied "they're not you. I need you"
"I'm always here, I promise you. I'm always in your heart" he stated
"But you're not here, here are you? You're not here to hold me, to kiss me, to make love to me, to make me feel amazing and beautiful just by looking at me, and that's my fault" I proclaimed "Heath and Case have lost a brother because of me, Ruby has lost the only Dad she's ever known because of me"
"Listen to me" he stated "me not being there with you anymore isn't your fault. It's no one's fault. It's just what happens"
"I hate life without you in it" I admitted "it's not worth living"
"Yes it is, because one day, one day you'll move on and you'll meet someone who'll make you feel amazing and beautiful, and you'll be happy" he informed me
"Don't say that, don't. Just stop" I proclaimed
I stood up and ran away, hearing his voice whisper "I love you" as I ran up the beach…