Jack's mind was screaming at him get over there, get over there NOW but his body was refusing to cooperate. Jack knew he should be running to Ianto's side, checking his pulse, calling an ambulance maybe but every step he took towards the still body on the sofa felt as if it took hours to complete. Time seemed to have slowed and every breath jack took felt like it took forever to reach his lungs, then just as suddenly everything snapped back to normal and Jack was striding across the room to Ianto's side.

'Ianto' Jack reached out a shaking hand to touch the young man's face, his skin was warm. With a hitching sob of hope, Jack's finger slid down to the pulse point at the angle of Ianto's jaw, he'd been kissing him there only a couple of nights earlier and his heart stuttered at the thought it might have been the last time. The throbbing beat beneath his fingers was strong and Jack, weak with relief, pulled the pliant body into his arms, dropping kisses wherever he could and sobbing Ianto's name.

'Jack?' Ianto yawned and turned in Jack's arms to look into his face, 'what? What on earth is the matter Cariad? Has something happened?'

Jack was laughing and sobbing at the same time. He pulled Ianto into a closer embrace and managed to pull him off the sofa completely. Ianto laughed as he ended up sprawled on top of Jack, their bodies touching from chest to toe. Thumbing away the tears that were still running down Jack's face, Ianto leant in a kissed him.

'C'mon' he murmured into Jack's ear, 'what's the matter?'

Jack rolled them so that his body pinned his young lover to the floor, 'That stupid gossip rag' he panted as he licked the curve of Ianto's ear to make him shudder, 'you smashed your phone rather than talk to me.' He kissed Ianto's throat and a small moan rewarded him. 'Then, I got here and you were so still, I saw the pills.. I thought...I thought...' he ground against Ianto's feeling his lover arousal alongside his own.

'You thought I'd tried to kill myself?' asked Ianto incredulously, pushing Jack off him and sitting up, 'I survived systematic sexual abuse from my father and my brother but you thought a scuzzy article in a scummy example of the gutter press would push me over the edge?'

Jack blushed, 'No! No, I...'

Ianto was on his feet now, 'you are un...fuckin'...believable you know that?'

Jack scrambled up from the floor, reaching out to Ianto 'I just thought...' he began but Ianto was having none of it and slapped Jack's hand away.

'You thought what Jack? That I was so frail and fragile that this would crush me? '

Jack dropped his hand to his sides and bowed his head, 'I panicked OK! I was stressed and scared and I wasn't thinking properly. I saw the pill boxes and I made a stupid assumption because I was scared for you, for us. I thought you would blame me. I thought you would think I was too much trouble to keep around. I thought you would ditch me and I thought...I thought that if you did that it would kill me. I know that you are stronger and braver than me. I know that because, when I'm with you, I'm strong and brave too. But that's only when I'm with you. Without you I'm just the same lonely fucked up mess I've been since Alex died and I'm sorry, OK? I'm so, so sorry'

'Oh Jack' Ianto pulled the shaking man into his arms. Jack had helped him be so strong, helped him over his past and he had forgotten how vulnerable the other man was also. 'Hush now, hush now cariad and come with me' He pulled the unresisting man towards his bedroom. 'We'll talk about this properly, but not just now. C'mon, I have a surprise for you'


Once outside the bedroom, Ianto stopped, 'Close your eyes' he whispered, 'I want to show you something.' Jack obediently closed his eyes and let Ianto lead him into the room. He felt a soft kiss on his eye lids and then on his mouth. He growled as he felt Ianto move away, missing the warmth of his body. Ianto laughed, 'be patient, sweetheart' there was a small rustling sound then , 'OK' said Ianto you can look now'

Jack opened his eyes and gasped. The bare white cell that had been Ianto's bedroom had been transformed. Muted lighting softened the stark whiteness of the walls which were now adorned with rich red, purple and gold wall art. A crimson duvet glowed from the bed and was complemented by the many soft pillows and cushions. But what made Jack's breath catch in his throat was the sight of Ianto spread naked on the bed, slowly stoking his cock, alabaster skin luminous, eye dark with desire. He smiled at Jack, 'C'mon' he said, 'I've been thinking about this all day.'

Slowly Jacked approached the bed, never taking his eyes off Ianto. He was undressing almost without realising it and finally stood next to the bed looking at his love. 'Gods' he whispered, you are so beautiful Ianto.'

Ianto smiled, 'Come and show me how beautiful'


Jack lay down and slowly kissed his way across Ianto's chest pausing to graze his teeth gently over the young man's erect nipples, smiling against his skin as he moaned softly. Jack was licking and nibbling his way down to his favourite place when Ianto's hands in his hair halted him

'No'

Jacked raised an eyebrow, 'No?'

Ianto shook his head, 'No. I want to come with you inside me. I want to come because you are inside me'

Jack was stunned. By unspoken mutual consent, they had avoided doing anything that would resonate with the years of sexual abuse the young man had suffered and that had definitely included being fucked by Jack. Jack cupped Ianto's face gently, 'Are you sure?' In answer Ianto pressed a small tube of lube into Jack's hand

' As sure as I am that I love you more than anything in the world'

Slowly and carefully, Jack stroked his finger around Ianto's perineum edging ever closer to his puckered entrance. When Ianto was sighing and moaning softly Jack slid a questing finger inside him.

'Oh Jack'

Jack stilled , 'You OK?' he asked anxiously

'More than OK'

Jack's grin was incandescent, 'So I can continue' he said sliding another finger inside his lover and curling it so that he brushed Ianto's prostate just so and laughing delightedly as Ianto's eyes rolled back in his head

'Duw! Do that again'

Scissoring his fingers, Jack nipped at Ianto's hip making him twitch and then soothed the spot with a kiss making him moan

'Look at me' whispered Jack, 'Look at me Ianto'

As their eyes met Jack pushed himself into Ianto's tight heat. Pausing to give the younger man time to adjust to the feeling, Jack was breathing deeply, god he just wanted to pound into his lover, she had never experienced anything like this, not with Alex, not with anyone.

'Jack please' Ianto was thrusting against him, 'move please'

Slowly Jack moved then slammed back in

'uh harder'

Jack leant forward and captured Ianto's mouth in a bruising kiss and he thrust strongly. Hooking his hands under Ianto's shoulder he pulled him up until he was sitting on Jacks lap with his legs wrapped tightly around his waist. Jack could feel Ianto's erection rubbing between their sweaty bodies smearing pre-cum between them. Ianto's fingers were scrabbling across the slippery skin of Jack's back and ass and he was chanting Jack's name like a prayer. Jack could feel Ianto moving to reach between them and grasped Ianto's wrist

'No' panted Jack, 'No touching. Come from having me inside you. Come for me now, Ianto'

With a strangled cry Ianto came pulsing hot and hard, his spunk coating his abdomen and chest. Seeing Ianto come on demand pushed Jack into his own orgasm and screaming Ianto's name he emptied himself into his lover.

For the longest time Jack and Ianto lay tangled up with each other, panting, smiling and licking each other's sweat soaked skin. Ianto gave a small cry as jack's softening penis slipped from inside him and Jack shushed him with a soft kiss. Ianto looked into Jack's eyes, wrapped his arms tightly around his lover and murmured 'Jack let's talk'