His vision became less blurred with each passing second, blinking slowly he allowed his body to slowly stir as he awoke from a deep sleep. Yawning loudly he stretched his hands above his head and tried to wake his still sleeping left arm, ruffling his hair he swung his legs out of the bed and gave them a good stretch. It felt like he had slept a hundred years, it was, without a doubt, one of the best night sleeps he had had in a very long time. Looking around the dormitory he saw that it was empty which meant he had slept in, he wasn't too bothered though, he couldn't be that late or someone would have come looking him. Yawning loudly once again he stood up from the bed, stumbling for a second he found his feet and reached for his bed side table, putting his round glasses on his tired face he quickly adjusted to his improved vision.
Harry noticed that he was very sore, shrugging he decided he must still be sore from the final task. His stomach squirmed uncomfortably as images quickly flashed into his head, the maze, the graveyard, the death eaters, Cedric's lifeless eyes staring up and him. Shaking his head he pushed the thoughts away, this was his last day of school and he wasn't going to let anything ruin that for him. He quickly got changed before opening his trunk he double checked that he had everything he needed and wanted, he didn't know what summer was going to be like now, he didn't know what it was going to be like back at the Dursley's now that Voldemort was back but he knew one thing, and that was that he would be counting down the days until school started again in September.
A soft cough interrupted Harry's thoughts, turning around he saw none other than Dumbledore standing in the Doorway with a sad look on his wrinkled face.
"Professor?" Dumbledore had never visited Harry in his dormitory before.
Dumbledore took a step forward and closed the door quietly behind him, he walked towards Harry and stopped just at the end of his bed, "I never like these curtains." He gestured towards the drapes that hung over the four post bed, "I burnt them in my fourth year."
Harry cocked his head to the side and simply gave the Professor a quizzical look. He really didn't know what to say back to that and he was pretty sure the Headmaster wasn't here to talk about curtains.
"By accident of course," Dumbledore flashed a mischievous smile before moving closer to Harry and placing a large hand on his shoulder. "I put you in great danger this year Harry, and I'm sorry."
His light blue eyes stared deeply into Harry's and the young boy couldn't help but think he was trying to see into his mind and read this thoughts. Harry simply nodded and broke eye contact when he began to feel very uncomfortable. Dumbledore didn't move for a moment or two and after what felt like an eternity finally blinked and allowed a sad but satisfied smile to play on his lips.
"Dark and difficult times lie ahead Harry and you, like so many before, will have to face the choice of what is right and what is easy." He patted Harry on the shoulder before turning and heading for the door, "don't forget Harry you have friends here and you are never truly alone." Without looking back he left the room.
Harry stared at the door for a few seconds, he was completely bewildered, and he didn't understand why Dumbledore felt the need to come all the way to the Gryffindor dormitory to tell him that, it wasn't like he didn't know everything the Professor had just told him. Shrugging it off he tried to flatten down his unruly hair before he made his way for the door, taking a look around the room he let out a sad sigh before leaving, the door closing behind him with a soft thud.
The usually lively end of term feast was very sombre this year, before the feast had begun Dumbledore made a sad speech about Cedric and warned of the dangers ahead now that he who must not be named was back. After that very few people spoke while they ate and those who did were only speaking about the tragic events that had taken place just over a week before. The students from Durmstrang and Beauxbatons had already left a few days prior to the end of term and so the hall felt particularly empty as the students ate the magnificent feast. It didn't take long for Hermione, Ron and Harry to finish their meals; in fact, compared to normal Ron barely ate anything. Once they had finished they quickly left the Great Hall and decided to take a short walk around the castle before it was time to head towards Hogsmeade station.
"Everything's going to change now, isn't it?" Hermione whispered sadly as she linked arms with the two boys.
"Well one thing won't change." Ron said lightly, obviously trying to keep the conversation from steering down the sad road.
Hermione raised a curious eyebrow, "Really? And what would that be Ronald?"
Ron looked over at Harry and gave him a subtle wink causing Harry to say in a very serious tone. "We still aren't going to write to you this summer."
"Oh shut up!" Hermione slapped him on the arm and unlinked herself from them, "well I'm still going to write every day, maybe even twice a day if you two don't reply to me."
The two boys rolled their eyes at the same time, "ok, ok we will write to you." Ron exclaimed dramatically.
A bell sounded throughout the castle which meant only one thing, it was time to get on the carriages and head for Hogsmeade. Harry felt a tinge of sadness in him, he didn't want to leave Hogwarts or his friends, and summer was the worst time of year for him. Hermione grabbed his arm and he reluctantly followed her towards the main entrance to the castle where hundreds of students were cramming trying to get through the main doors. Harry couldn't understand why they were all so desperate to leave, if he could, he would lock himself in the castle and never leave.
Suddenly a pretty young girl came beside him, looking over in surprise he saw none other than Cho Chang, she smiled shyly at him before saying, "I hope you have a nice summer Harry."
Harry suddenly became very aware of how stupid his arms looked swinging by his side as he walked. "Thanks Cho, I hope you have a good summer as well."
She gave him another awkward smile before hurrying on to catch up with her friends.
"Could you make it more obvious mate?"
Ron's sarcastic remark caused Harry to give him a slightly puzzled look. "Make what more obvious?"
"Oh Harry, come off it, I mean you clearly like her." Hermione said in a rather patronising way.
Before Harry could retaliate however, his eyes suddenly landed on a tall blonde haired boy stopping on the spot and spinning around to face him. His green eyes quickly connected with dark grey ones boring a hole in him, Malfoy was standing just in front of the trio, and Harry was sure he hadn't seen him earlier when they were walking; he also found it weird that Malfoy stood facing them at the entrance of the castle with everyone walking in the opposite direction he was now facing.
Harry's green eyes narrowed dangerously as he stared darkly at Malfoy who was surprisingly alone, Harry quickly scanned the nearby students looking for Crabbe and Goyle but alas they were nowhere to be seen. He felt his fists tighten as he continued to glare at the older boy, for some reason he couldn't remember seeing Malfoy much this year but with everything he had been through he wasn't surprised, he had more important things to worry about than a pathetic weasel like him. Malfoy's chin was tilted upwards as he gazed down at the other boy, his grey eyes showing no emotion and his thin lips set in a grim line
"What the hell are you doing Malfoy?" Harry spat, he was convince this was a stupid trick, he kept his finger tips on his wand ready in case Malfoy tried to Hex him.
Draco's emotionless face faltered for a fraction of a second and Harry was convinced he had seen a flash of despair in those grey eyes. Draco opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out, opening and closing it several times he found he couldn't find any words, all he could do was sneer at the trio of Gryffindors.
"If you're just going to stand there and look stupid then I really don't have time for this." Harry let go of his wand and stomped forwards, making sure to knock his shoulder hard into Draco's chest causing the boy's body to turn to the side but he didn't stumble. "He is absolutely pathetic." Harry said loudly as the three friends made their way out of the castle.
Draco remained motionless for a second, his head remaining bowed, and complete shock and devastation took over his face as he whipped his head around and stared at the back of Harry's head from over his shoulder. His mouth was agape and his normally cool eyes wide with dismay as he watched Harry disappear amongst the crowd and out of the castle. It wasn't until the younger boy was completely out of sight did Draco stand up straight and turn to face front doors, realising he wasn't alone he quickly regained his composure and allowed his face to become emotionless again, though his eyes were still swimming with unshed tears.
He couldn't move, he was rooted to the spot as he continued to stare at the exact spot he lost sight of Harry. His heart was heavy with sorrow and he felt an aching pain in his stomach unlike anything he had ever felt before, swallowing a few times he managed to blink his tears away. He wanted more than anything to run, run to the younger boy and tell him what happened, tell him what they did this past year, kiss him and promise to love him forever. But he couldn't.
He knew, he knew the moment he laid eyes on Harry that his spell had worked and Harry couldn't remember anything about to two of them. He had stayed up all that night hoping, praying, that somehow he would remember.
A large hand softly clasped his shoulder forcing him back into grim reality, staring down at the hand he let out a small sigh before looking back at the entrance.
"You did the right thing." Dumbledore said softly.
"Of course you did Draco and don't you doubt it for a second," Dumbledore squeezed his shoulder tightly in a reassuring manner. "The boy would have been in terrible danger if it weren't for you, no doubt the Dark Lord would have found out and who knows what he might have done then." When Draco didn't say anything back Dumbledore continued on. "Plus with your Occlumency lessons coming on so well there is no reason anyone should ever find out about this."
Draco narrowed his eyes before saying bitterly, "great."
He heard Dumbledore breathe a sad sigh, "you better go or you'll miss the train." With that Draco felt Dumbledore's hand release him and heard his footsteps grow fainter. Bowing his head and stuffing his hands inside his pockets he made his way towards the carriages.
Harry jumped off the carriage and took a deep breath; he always loved the smell of the Homemeade station. It didn't take long for him Ron and Hermione to make their way to the platform and after their trunks and animals were safely on board it was time to leave, stopping at the door to the train he took a final look up at Hogwarts, the tallest towers could just been seen.
Feeling eyes on him Harry turned around; green eyes connected with grey and Harry suddenly felt a weird pain in his stomach. Malfoy was staring at him with an unusually soft expression on his face. Harry frowned and looked away; making his way onto the train he could only think one thing. Why was Malfoy looking at him like that?
Grey eyes swam with unshed tears as Draco boarded the train, making his way towards the compartment he took a few deep breaths as he tried to control his shaking hands, eventually he managed to slide the compartment door open. He was glad to have found a free compartment but he knew it would only be matter of time before Crabbe and Goyle came looking for him, but for now, he had some time alone with his thoughts which was just what he needed.
Yes, it was the only way. He had to erase his memories, his memories of them being together, his memories of them being intimate, all the memories he had of them. Only by doing that could he insure the safety of Harry for at least another year, and perhaps, when this was all over, and Voldemort was defeated, there might be a way for them to be together. And, until then….
The whistle blew and the train gave a sudden jerk, Draco stared up at the school and his eyes immediately landing on the top of the Astronomy tower. A single tear fell from his eye and a ghostly smile danced on his lips as he remembered that night.
"I don't ever want to lose you." The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them and he instantly regretted them.
The younger boy looked up at him, they were lying on the floor of the Astronomy Tower staring at the sky, and Harry's head lay on his chest as he wrapped a protective arm around his young lover.
"You're not going to lose me." Harry whispered before placing a gentle kiss on his right hand.
He simply let out a soft grunt; he had said too much, he could never let Potter know exactly how much he cared for him. Pushing the younger boy off him he sat up and rubbed his lower back, "you need to lay off those puddings."
Much to his dismay Harry reached forward and cupped his chin, forcing their eyes to meet, he felt his stomach summersault and his heart began to beat heavily as he stared into those piercing green eyes, licking his suddenly dry lips he tried to look away but Harry's hand kept him in place.
"You don't have to keep pushing me away," Harry whispered, he caressed his chin with his fingers causing him to supress a soft moan. "It's ok to let people in, to show emotion, I want to get to know you, to meet you"
"But I'm right here?" He gave the younger boy a bewildered look.
"I mean the real you, not the Draco Malfoy that struts around the school but the boy beneath all that, the boy who cares about me just as much as I do about him, the boy who I hope to grow old with, the boy who I know I will be with for a long time."
He simply gave a soft noise of acknowledgement, perhaps one day he would let him in, let him see the real Malfoy, but today was not that day.
Draco opened his eyes and wiped away the tears now falling freely down his face. He had never let Harry in, never showed him how much he meant, he would always regret that. Closing his eyes he allowed himself to become lost in deep thought. Perhaps they would be able to be together again.
….until then, he always had his memories.
Thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed, followed and faved it means a lot that so many of you enjoyed my story :)
Thank you so much to everyone who stuck with me through this story, finishing this story was a lot harder than I had anticipated and I have to be honest there was a period of time were I was sure I wasn't going to finish it but there you go we finally made it to the end!
This story was really my idea of what it would have been like if Draco/Harry was canon, what it would have been like in the books if there really was a relationship between the two, it ended this way due to what happens in the next book with Voldemort being able to invade Harry's mind.
I may write a sequel but I will have to see what happens! Let me know what you guys thought and I really hope you enjoyed reading my first fanfic.