Today was my big day. I started touring with my favorite band, All Time Low. I had met Alex, the lead singer, a few years ago at a show. I was with my best friend Cassadee, who he was touring with. He walked into her dressing room to ask her a question while we were warming up her vocals and we've kept in touch ever since. Whenever he's in town he makes sure to have me come to the show and perform Remembering Sunday with him as long as I'm not busy. This time was different though. I started a FULL tour. I had only been writing my own songs and recording them and not cover videos for about a year and a half. I was SO nervous. What if nobody liked my music? Today, we started off in my city. Boston. Unfortunately, my boyfriend, Trevor, couldn't make it. He has to work. My best friend Stella couldn't make it either. It was my big night, and no one important was coming to watch me shine. Cassadee would have been there in a heart beat, especially now, since she's dating All Time Low's drummer, Rian Dawson. She is out in LA though for The Voice. I finished packing all of my things, making sure I had everything and called Alex. He was going to pick me up because I was just riding along with them on their bus since I didn't have a band of my own. "Helllllllllllllo, Kenna Lil!" He answered excitedly. "Hi, Alex. I'm ready come get me!" I said. "Yay! We are on our way, I can't wait! I'm so glad you're touring with us!" He replied. He was so excited, which made me feel a little better about Trevor and Stella not being able to make it. "Me too, Al! Love you, see you in a few," I said getting ready to hang up. "I love you too, Kenna." I brought all of my things out onto my front porch and waited for the guys to pull up. Five minutes later a huge, black tour bus pulled up. Alex came running off and hugged me. We became best friends after meeting. The other three band members followed. "Kennaaaa! Ready to get weird?!" Jack asked. I laughed, "sooooo ready!" He hugged me quick. "Hi, Kenz," Rian said pulling me into a hug. Last person in line was Zack. He looked at me shyly rubbing his neck. "Hi, Kenna, I'll get your bags for you," he said with a shy smile. "Thanks, Zack," I smiled back.
After everything was loaded we all sat in the front lounge talking and cracking jokes. We then headed to the venue. The whole ride there Trevor was blowing up my phone arguing with me. I got frustrated and just shut my phone off the got up and moved to the back lounge with my iPod. After about an hour Zack came back to get me. "Hey, we're at the venue," he said. I gave him a half smile, "alright." He awkwardly walked back up to the front. I felt bad for putting him in an awkward situation. He's already shy enough. We unloaded all of our equipment. "Kenz, will you go get me a coffee?" Alex asked. He asked me since I was the only one who knew that area. "Yeah, sure, I could use a walk anyways," I replied. As I was walking out of the venue I ran into Zack. "Hey, I'm running to starbucks, you want anything?" I asked with a smile. "No, thanks," he said with a slight smile back.
On my way back to the venue I passed a restaurant where I saw Trevor and Stella sitting together eating. They lied to me. I stared for a minute, they then kissed. I was in shock, I ran back to the venue, my face with tears streaming down in. I found Alex and handed him his coffee then went back onto the tour bus, curled up in my bunk and cried. An hour later, I was still trying not to cry, Zack came to my bunk. "Is it okay to open the curtain?" he asked. Instead of talking I just opened it. I don't know why they always send Zack. "Whoa, are you alright?" he asked when he saw me. "Yeah, I'm...I'm fine," I said. He shook his head, "do you want to talk about it?" I took a deep breath, "yeah, sure. Stay with me while I do my make-up?" He agreed. We walked to the back lounge and I did my make up in the mirror telling him what happened. Just by the look on his I could tell he was pissed. "Have you said anything to them yet?" he asked. "No, I've been too busy crying," I said. "Kenna, you deserve SO much better than both of them. You should tell them you saw them and be done with them," he replied to me. "But...without them, I really don't have anyone," I said trying not to start crying again. "Ya know, I may be shy, I may be awkward, I may not talk a lot, and I know this is the first time we've had a really in depth conversation...sober at least, but I'm here for you, ok? I won't let you down. I won't hurt you, and I won't let anyone else hurt you. I will be your new best friend. We have the next six months together, our friendship can become a lot in the next 6 months," he said. I was so shocked, but so happy at the same time. "Yeah, I'd really like that," I said. "Good, now you send that text message and come inside with me and take all your emotion out in your performance. You're going to kill it like you always do," he said smiling. I texted them both telling them I was done. Zack pulled me into a tight hug and then we walked together into the venue.
My nerves were going insane. It was almost time for me to perform. They finished setting up my things and then I went out with a big smile on my face and sang my heart out. Every time I'd glance over to side stage I'd see Zack standing there smiling and watching. Everyone in the crowd was so supportive, many danced, and some even sang along. As I walked off the stage Zack held out his arms waiting for me to run and jump into them. "You did amazing, Miss Kenna!" He said excitedly not letting me go. I smiled big, "thank you, so much!" We walked back to the dressing room while the rest of the bands performed. When it was their time to perform I walked to the stage with them. Wished them all good luck and watched them from side stage. Every time Zack would switch out his bass he would look at me and smile his beautiful smile. I'd always smile back. Finally, it was time for me to sing with Alex. As Zack went to the back of the stage he hugged me and said good luck. I went out and killed it, everyone cheered. Alex kissed my cheek as I excited the stage. After they were done performing we went outside to sign for an hour. The first night of tour was a success.
It was time for bus call and we all entered the bus and plopped down in the front lounge. Jack, Alex, Rian and the crew decided they wanted to watch Batman. I wasn't too interested so I decided to go into the back lounge. Zack asked if he could join. I said yes and all the other guys "ooooooh" like we were in third grade. This made us both blush, even though nothing was going on between us. We got to the back lounge and just sat and talked while we drank Jameson. Zack began to open up the more he drank. By no means was he drunk though. "Ya know, Kenna, you did a damn good job for being upset tonight," Zack said. I smiled, "only because you talked me through it." He smiled then leaned in and kissed me. It was very unexpected, and even though I just broke up with Trevor it felt right. Everything about being with Zack right this moment felt so right. "Shit, I'm sorry," he said. I rolled my eyes, and kissed him again. "No need to be." In middle of a kiss he smiled, it made my stomach go insane with butterflies. We decided to go lay in his bunk. "Wanna watch Sex and the City 2?" He asked. "OH MY GOD, yes please!" I replied. He smiled and kissed my forehead. He went to the front lounge to get the movie then came back and crawled into his bunk and curled up next to me. Out of habit as we curled up I kissed him. He put his hands on my hips and kissed me harder.
~6 months later~
Zack and I started dating a month after tour started. We became best friends, we were inseparable. He treated me so well. He's stuck to his word of not hurting me or ever letting anyone else hurt me. The tour ended tonight. It ended in Baltimore. We had a long night the night before, so we slept in late. At noon, he woke me up with a kiss on my forehead. "Good morning, beautiful," he said smiling. I couldn't help smiling back, no matter how tired I was. "Good morning, babe," I said kissing him. "I bought you something while you were sleeping," he said so excitedly. "What is it?" I asked. He got up and went somewhere quick then came back. "Here," he said smiling handing me a little box. I carefully unwrapped the yellow and pink bow on top of it. Inside was an infinity ring that said on the band, "ZSM, forever." I noticed he was wearing a new ring as well. He took it off to show me the band, it said "KLM, always." I smiled as a little tear rolled down my cheek. "I don't want this to be over," I said. A look of worry covered his face, "what to be over? I'm not going anywhere." I rolled my eyes, "the tour, I meant. I'm not going to be able to deal with you gone." He smiled, "you don't have to, for at least six months. We're working on a new album. The only thing is though, you are going to be in Boston, unless..." He stopped. "Unless what?" I asked. "Unless, you move in with me?" I smiled, "if you want me to, of course." He smiled, "Kenna, I want you forever. I'm going to have to get used to living with you. Not that I'm not already," he said laughing. I smiled and kissed him.
For the next week we made many trips back and forth with all of my things. We unpacked everything into his place. I had never seen him happier. This was our new beginning. I was thrilled that my new beginning began with him. He kissed me. "I love you, Kenna Lil." I smiled, "I love you too, Zacky."
We ended up getting engaged while he was home recording the album. They extended the album making process for another year, playing odds and ends shows randomly, but no full length tours so we could plan our wedding. We got married on July 13th. I had never been happier.
"So, Mrs. Merrick, what would you like now?" he said as we pulled up to our house on our wedding night. I smiled. We decided to try for a baby that night. I was hoping our wish would come true. He went back on tour in a month for three months. The day he left he kissed me and kissed me. "I love you, so much." He said before leaving. I smiled, "I love you too, Zack."
I was so busy trying to figure out everything living in a new town I was too focused on myself. One day, I started throwing up repeatedly. I told Zack I was sick and he offered to leave tour, but I refused. After being sick for three days I thought to take a pregnancy test. Sure enough, it came back positive. I was driving to see Zack the next day, so I waited until then to share the news. When I arrived to the venue he ran and hugged me. I told him I had a surprise for him, he looked a little nervous. We went and sat on the bus and I pulled out a picture of the first ultrasound I had of my pregnancy. He started crying, I have never seen him so happy. He kissed me, "this is so great, baby!" We're taking another year off like we did when we got married actually so we could do some things. So this worked out perfectly." He was thrilled. Nine months later on May 13th we were blessed with a beautiful baby girl who we decided to name Eliza Noelle. At from the moment she hit the air, she was daddy's little princess.