Dedication: This is dedicated to Cris whose birthday is actually tomorrow... But I have had a very bad day and starting new stories make me happy... and it's your birthday somewhere... SO SUCK IT UP. Besides, that means you get Edward on your actual birthday.

I love you, girly.

Disclaimer - SM does not have my incredibly foul mouth.

Bella Swan wasn't good at being rich.

She wondered vaguely if she would have been better at it had she been born into it. Being raised by a cop on a cop's salary had to be different than being raised by a wealthy businessman, Senator, or trust fund daddy.

Of course, the way Charlie, her father, was acting, it seemed pretty clear money had changed him. This was a man who'd eloped with her mother just so he wouldn't have to wear a monkey suit, and he was currently parading around in a tuxedo that cost more than the monthly mortgage payment of their old house in Forks.

In the last year, Charlie had come into a moderate sized fortune. It was more money than Charlie, Bella, and Renee, her mother, could possibly spend in a lifetime.

"There's no point in having money unless you can do good with it," Charlie had said many a time. He had plans to do some wonderful things with his money. Charlie was nothing if not a good, decent man with an eye toward helping others.

The problem, according to Charlie, was that in order to get things done, rich people needed the approval and assistance of other rich people.

"You gotta pretend to be part of the club to get in the clubhouse," Charlie had said.

Now Bella lived in a house that was obnoxiously big in a town that was obnoxiously small. Smaller than Forks. And where Forks was filled with thoroughly middle class, this little town was all rich folk and those who waited on rich folk. The school Bella attended was not a high school but an academy. There was also a private university - the kind whose degrees garnered respect simply because if your family could afford to send you there, you had to be someone worth knowing.

Well, they were definitely in the clubhouse now. Quite literally.

Tonight Bella was dressed as one of 'them', trying her best not to look bored out of her mind while her parents worked the room. Never in her wildest imaginings could she see herself as a member of a country club, let alone one as swanky as this one.

Eventually, a group of girls - the socialite do-gooder types - pulled Bella into their fold. She smiled and was mostly quiet, pretending to listen to the latest who's who gossip.

But inevitably, her eyes and thoughts wandered. She began to watch the wait staff. They were all meticulously groomed and outrageously attractive, the men wearing crisp white shirts with a red vest and black pants with perfectly ironed creases. The women wore black skirts and red aprons.

It could not be an accident that they were all so very pretty, Bella mused. That was how rich this town was - they could afford to tailor their help to be pleasing to the eye.

Still, Bella wished it were appropriate to strike up a conversation with one of them. They were probably closer to her people than the socialite girls ever would be.

A/N: So this will be... shortish chapters. 1-3 pages. HOPEFULLY daily.

And yes. This is heavily inspired by Magic Mike so take that as you will.

Thoughts? Guesses? Hopes? (About the story, you smart asses)

How do you think Edward comes into play?