"Kallllll! Come on, don't be a baby! It's not that cold, jump in!" My boyfriend yelled. I was still shy an uncomfortable with my body, even after three years. I didn't want to undress to jump in. "Turn around," I demanded. He did, even though I know he was peaking. I took off my shirt, then unzipped my skinny jeans and fought my way out of them. Finally, I was down to just my bra and underwear. "Be fearless," I thought to myself, and then I jumped in. As I came up from under water I saw Zack smiling. He took me in his arms and kissed me. "I love, Kal," he said smiling and kissing me again. I've never loved someone like I've loved him. Sure, I am only 17 but I wouldn't want to be with someone else. "I love you, too, Zacky," I said wrinkling my nose as he kissed it. He picked me up out of the water and ran to the sand with me. "I really hate you," I said. He knew I hated when he saw me without much on. "Shut up, you're beautiful," he told me. I've always been worried about my body. I've always been called fat, and it's really gotten to me. He always tries to convince me that I'm not. He put me on my feet, wrapped his hands tightly around my waist pulling me as close to him as he possibly could and kissing me. I ended up with my arms around his neck and some how my legs ended up around his waist and he was holding me. We saw a flash of lights, it was midnight and we weren't supposed to be here after 9. We ran and hurried to put our clothes on then made it look like we were just walking by. This always happened, and we always got a rush. We laughed as Zack walked me home. My parents weren't home for a week and asked him to stay with me, so I wasn't alone. They trusted him, sometimes they shouldn't have, though. We walked into my house, I threw my things on the floor of the mudroom and walked into the kitchen pouring myself some orange juice. Zack walked into the room, being himself and making me laugh so hard that the orange juice came out my nose, man did it sting. He came over and hugged me from behind. "This is going to be the best. I can't wait until we get our own place and it can be like this all the time," he said kissing my neck lightly. I swallowed hard and smiled at him. "I know, baby. Me either. I love you so much," I told him. He turned my chair around to face him, "Always and forever, Kal. I promise you that, ok?" He always gets so mushy on me, and it drives me insane. "I'll beat you upstairs!" I said, jumping out of my seat, grabbing my things from the mudroom floor and running. "No, you won't! I'll get there first!" We were always doing little nerdy things like these. It made me feel like a child. But with him it was okay, everything was okay, more than okay actually. I of course beat him, only because he let me. He walked into my room with a smile on his face. "I'm going to go get changed," I said kissing him. I walked into my bathroom across the wall and change into my cheer shorts and a cami. I walked into my room to Zack laying in my bed with only shorts on, showing his abs and chest tattoo that he just got for his 18th birthday. I laid down next to him and traced it with my finger. He loves when I do that. He smiled, but I stopped. He kissed me hard and long, laying me on my back and him semi-on top of me. After a few minutes, I ended up back in just my bra and underwear on top of him, kissing on his neck. That night we went all the way. I became so attached, I never wanted him to leave. Ever. I physically needed him. "I love you, Kalin Nicole, more than anything. I want you for the rest of my life. I will never leave." He promised me he never would that night.
~3 months later~
Three months after that night we graduated. The day after mine and my twin brother Jack's graduation party Zack called me. "Hey, babe, what's up?" I asked. "Hey, we really have to talk, can I come pick you up?" He sounded serious. I was nervous. "Yeah, is everything okay?" I asked. "We'll talk when I pick you up. I'll be there in five." My stomach was flipping. I stood on the porch and waited for my boyfriend, nervously. He pulled up and I quickly walked to his car and got in. He took me to the beach. We walked to the rock we always sat on. "Kal, starting Saturday I'm going on tour basically non-stop. Maybe it would be easier if we took a break..." he said. These words hit me like a train, I thought I was going to throw up. I couldn't even say anything, I just got up and ran away. He chased after me, "Kal!" He kept calling me. I wouldn't turn back, I couldn't. How could this happen? Things were so perfect. He was my everything, I gave him my everything. I ran home and locked myself in my room. About an hour later someone was knocking on my door, "GO AWAY," I yelled. I was crying too hard to deal with anyone. My brother Jack, Zack's best friend and bandmate walked in. "Kal, what happened?" he asked, concerned. "He broke up with me..." I said sobbing. "What? Why? Oh my god," he asked just as shocked as me. "Because of you guys touring. He thinks it will be easier for us to take a break. Why? Why does this have to happen?" I asked my brother. He came and sat on my bed, holding me in his arms while I cried. Zack texted me over and over again apologizing, I never replied. How could he do this to me? I would never love again.
~6 months later~
My brother's band was back in town after six months of non-stop touring. I went to see them, this was the first time I've seen Zack since we broke up. I ran to my brother and hugged him. "I missed you so much, Jack!" I said. "I missed you too, Kalibean," he replied. I said hi to and hugged two out of the three other band members. I completely ignored Zack. "Kal, wanna sing Remembering Sunday with me tonight?" the lead singer Alex asked. "Sure!" I replied, excitedly. I tried to not let my love for Zack show, even though it was still there and still strong. I went on stage and killed it. "You did really good, Kalin," Zack said as I walked by him. People next to never call me Kalin. You could tell we weren't on good terms. "Thanks," I said bitterly, then walked away. I went outside to get some air, I couldn't be around Zack anymore. I didn't even want to look at his face. I heard a door behind me open, out of reflex I looked back. It was Zack. Great. I got up and started to walk away. "Kal, wait," I heard him say. I turned around and started to cry, "what Zack? WHAT? Go ahead, lay it all on me, break my heart again, put me through hell again. I don't want to see you right now. Okay? I really just don't. What could you possibly want?" I said, progressively crying harder. He walked a little closer to me, "Look, Kal, I'm sorry, okay? I really am. I love you, more than anything. I should have never taken a break. I was afraid you'd leave me while I was gone. But I realized that you're the best thing that ever happened to me. I don't even deserve you, but you're all I want. Of you don't want me back I understand, but please? It will be different this time. I should have just dealt with it, I know we would have gotten through it, now, I'm so sorry," he said, beginning to cry. I took a deep breath, trying not to cry. I failed, so badly. He walked over and put his arms around me, and I let him. "Kal, please," he begged. "This is your last chance, Zack. You crushed me. Yes, I will do it all again, just for you. But if this happens again we're done for good, got it?" I said. He kissed my forehead and squeezed me, "yes, I won't mess up this time. I'm sorry, I promise. I will make this up to you." I was nervous, because what if it happened again? I guess I just had to trust him, no matter how hurt he made me, I'd do it all again for him. Over and over.