I'm always falling, I always have been too. It's because I'm so clumsy. Tripping, knocking things over, falling down...all a part of my daily life. I have countless bruises and cuts from it. It's painful, but I've gotten used to it. The only time I'm not clumsy is when I'm fighting.
So this morning when I tripped over nothing and began falling down the stairs, I thought nothing of it. I thought it was going to be a normal day, albeit a bit painful. But it didn't end up that way, and it began with me falling down the stairs. But I hadn't been walking alone, I had met Kanda on my way downstairs...after I took eight wrong turns apparently...and he had begun leading me to my breakfast. So when I started falling, I reached out for the closest thing, Kanda's jacket.
We both fell. We tumbled down the stairs together, becoming pushed together as we hit each stair. When we reached the landing, we rolled until we hit the wall. Or at least, Kanda hit the wall. He shoved me in front of him at the last second as his back hit the wall, pushing me into his lap. On the rebound from the wall, his lips landed on mine, forcing us into a deep, almost bruising kiss.
We stayed like that for a bit longer than we had to, and once we realized, we pushed each other away. Hard. I felt my back hit against the stone post of the stairs, and saw the stone wall behind him crack. Both of us were flushed pink, and were panting slightly. Kanda stood up, then wrenched me from the ground, helping me to my feet. He was scowling.
"Dammit Moyashi, watch where you're going."
"DON'T CALL ME THAT!" I said loudly, growling at him.
"Whatever, bean sprout. You wanted to eat, didn't you?" Kanda began walking again, leading me again. I followed him with my eyes to the floor, thinking of that accidental kiss. Of the feeling of his lips on mine. Of how, ever so briefly, our tongues had mingled. Of how we had actually stayed that way a moment longer than necessary. It kept me that embarrassed pink color for a while, thinking of those things.
When we reached the cafeteria, I walked to the food window and ordered from Jerry, Kanda was behind me in line. I got my food and sat down across from Lenalee, and I watched him walk across the room and sit alone at an empty table. Lenalee looked from me, to Kanda, then back again.
She grinned cheshirely, "Looks like you and Kanda fell hard today."
"Well, I did accidentally trip into him, and we fell down the stairs." I said, not really understanding. She knew I was clumsy, and she knew I usually knocked into people.
Lenalee giggled, "Yeah, how'd he take that?"
"He shoved me really hard into the banister," I said, not mentioning the kiss.
"Are you okay?"
I nodded, but I wasn't. My back was fine and didn't hurt at all, but my stomach was twisted in knots. I didn't know why. I felt sky high and like I was being pressed to the ground at the same time. I only started feeling like this when I kissed him, and I wanted to feel those lips on mine again. Such embarrassing thoughts!
I felt like that for a while. While I got lost in the long hallways. While I helped Lavi in the library. While I helped Lenalee clean some back rooms in the Research Department. While I trained. While I went to say hello to Miranda and Krory in the Hospital Wing. While I spotted Kanda coming out of his room while heading to mine.
We glared into each others eyes, inches apart, trying to intimidate each other. But we both knew at this point that neither was scared and neither was going to back down. For some reason, our lips were parted slightly, and barely half an inch apart, and then they weren't apart. And they stayed together for several minutes as our eyes slid closed and our hands grabbed for the other's shirt. When we pulled apart, we just stared at each other. My heart pounded in my chest at the realization.
I hadn't fallen with Kanda.
I had fallen for Kanda.