Soooo, I'm back from the dead (yes, pun TOTALLY intended!) and I bring fiction again. And this one, too, is a little on the dark side. Don't know why, but it seem all I'm in the mood for lately, is dark and a tiny bit twisted *shrug*.
So: THANKS to myTme for beta-reading this one too! She's NOT a TVD fan, but she's a friend so she's torturing herself, reading my stuff. Gotta love such friends!
Disclaimer: I don't own a thin 'bout TVD. I'm just playing with them because they're too much fun to be left alone!
Now, on with it!
She knew she was dying. The moment she tried to open her seatbelt and it refused to be opened, she knew it. That's it, end of the road, the final curtain, last bow, down and out. Only, then there was Stefan, trying to be the hero, trying to save her, and she knew she had to stop him. Seriously, how many times did she have to land at the bottom of this particular stream for it to stick?
So she made Stefan get Matt out first – there was the thought that she should have done this for the sake of saving him, not for the sake of not saving herself, but oh well. The end justifies the means… or something like that, anyway.
And then everything went weightless and easy and just… quiet. Peaceful. She felt her life leaving her like a candle snuffing out, and then all was finally dark.
She came back to the world gasping for a breath she shouldn't need anymore. She stayed down for a few minutes, lying on a stainless steel slab, surrounded by drawers full of frozen corpses; wishing with all her might that she would turn into one of them. But nothing ever went the way she wanted it too and this was no different.
The next few hours she spent listening to her friends and Jeremy, begging and pleading, Please, just finish transition. You can't die! We need you. We love you.
The only one not heaping his thoughts and wishes onto her shoulders was Damon, and she didn't know if she hated or loved him for that. Probably both, just as it had always been.
In the end, she went with the popular vote. They were all in the middle of the boarding house's parlor when Matt brought a wicked looking knife to his wrist and cut himself. She was on him like white on rice, drinking his blood, soothing the ache in her jaw, stomach and… well, everywhere.
The moment it hit her own bloodstream, something inside her made a snapping, ripping sound, and then everything changed and was made anew.
She knew she was the only one who heard the sound – didn't know how she knew, just that it was the truth. She felt light all of a sudden; not unlike the moment her heart stopped beating not so long ago. There was a moment of stillness in her, and when she closed her eyes there were two of her.
The one, human: afraid, compassionate and so very unwilling to be a vampire.
The other, undead: not scared of anything and oh-so-magnificent.
She realized that there really wasn't a switch for one's feelings. It was one way, or the other. Sure, you could keep your humanity and be a little… confused for a time, thinking you're evil and trying to live up to that thought. But one way or the other it would catch up to you, consume you, and make you suffer.
Only, if you decided from the beginning to be the other, there would be no catching up; no sorrow and pain anymore. So in that split second of decision, she waved goodbye to sweet little Elena, waved goodbye to her soul and embraced the other.
When she opened her eyes again, she saw her friends looking at her; waiting for her to break down in tears or give them a trying, watery smile.
They didn't expect her to give them a malicious grin, spin around and punch her fist right into the quarterback's fragile chest. She didn't copy Klaus' favorite move and rip out his heart; she just clawed her way right through it, her hand surfacing out of his back, bloody and adorned with pieces of flesh and muscle.
When she pulled it out he blinked at her, just once. Then his eyes rolled up into his head and he slumped to the ground like wet cloth. Dead before he hit the ground.
There was shocked silence all around her, only broken by the sound of retching when her brother turned to the side, emptying his stomach.
That brought motion back into her friends, and everyone started talking, sobbing and screeching at once.
As before, Damon was the only one who kept his peace, but it was all the same. She could read the look in his eyes as he stared down at the dead body of Matt. He knew that Elena was gone; dead just as she wanted to be. Knew that the only thing left was the vampire she never wanted to be.
What was the saying? Oh yeah, "Be careful what you wish for."
Well, her friends had wanted for her to go on, to live forever and ever and ever, never being able to let go. So now they were going to have her forever.
They should have been more specific, right? Told her they wanted her to be forever meek and miserable, always trying to sacrifice her own happiness for them. The devil's in the detail, after all.
As she made her way past them, out of the boarding house, nobody tried to stop her. And the only one following her was Damon.
She stopped halfway down the steps in front of the house, not even turning around as she talked, sounding curious, but far away from any emotion that had always been innate to her.
"Did you know?"
It could have meant anything, but they knew each other well enough to communicate without too many unnecessary words.
He gave a nearly-soundless sigh before he talked – his voice hoarse and raspy, as if he had been screaming for hours on end (or as if holding back and choking on tears.) "I guessed. The moment I understood how much you never wanted to turn…" He left the rest unspoken. Didn't voice out loud how it should have been obvious that her nature wouldn't allow her to become some kind of monster.
She turned around then, looking him over from head to toe. Elena could see that he was hurting, that his heart was screaming and ranting, but she just didn't care anymore. But with all her care gone, she also had no problem admitting to the lust that reared its head inside her.
Damon might feel way too much for her now, but he was still Damon. Still sinfully easy on the eyes, still sex-on-a-stick. So she held one hand out to him, waiting for his reaction.
A few seconds ticked by, and she knew he was weighing his options. Take what he could have, even though there wasn't much left of the woman he loved; or turn around, go back to the others and grieve for the parts of her that were gone.
In the end he took her hand and they disappeared into the night.
He had always been loves little bitch; he would always love her, every part of her- even the cruel, goddess-of-carnage he knew she would turn into.
He would go to the end of the world and back with her, dancing on the pyres of what they left in their wake.
Dancing and singing and dying inside but always by her side.
Forever and ever and ever.
So. I know it was short, and dark and… probably not what you wanted to read from me, BUT I had a lot of fun writing this one. And I hope you like it either way! Now, reviews are love, and seing as it's nearly Advent, you should GIVE love. Just write me a few words on what you think, pretty please?