It had been a month since our break-up and everything was different. But nothing compared to me, I was angry. Really fucking angry and that definitely changed me. I knew I was becoming this asshole that I hated, but I couldn't stop him from coming out.


I rolled out of my bed and slammed my feet on the floor. It was too fucking early.

"Yeah?" I said as I walked to the top of the stairs.

"I have a couple of things for you to do today." He said as he waved a piece of paper.


"I think I've let your vacation last long enough." He said sternly as he placed the paper down. "Cio, you need to start thinking about your future. Obviously the plans you had are not going to happen. You need to figure out what you're going to do about school and if not, then find a job."

"Is that number two or three on your list?"

"Get it done." He said. "And while you're at it add getting you attitude fixed as number one."

He walked out and I made my way downstairs.

Money is on the kitchen table.

backyard and front yard, get the leaves gathered and in the compost.

2. Take out the trash and recycling.

3. Get the bathroom cleaned.

4. Buy groceries.

I folded the paper and walked back up stairs. I slipped on my shoes and grabbed my jacket. After that, my morning was a blur.

By the time I was done with raking all the leaves I was already out of my sweater and furiously tugging at my shirt to create an extra breeze. My arms ached after loading it all into the compost bin. I walked inside and quickly took off my shirt. I decided to add laundry to the list and gathered our clothes. Once in my room I quickly noticed Emmett chilling on my chair.

"Well, if I had known it was your turn I would have waited to get some help." I said as I gathered my clothes and towel.

"Not your housekeeper." He simply said.

"Before I know it you guys are going to be in the bathroom helping me wipe my ass." I scoffed. "Housekeeper isn't too bad, huh?"

"You think you're so funny." Emmett said and threw everything off my desk, startling me. "I hope you get eaten by a newborn."

"No you don't." I said stepping over my things on the floor. "Remember that before Edward broke up with me you actually liked me."

"Not this asshole you."

"Something tells me its not going to be the last time I hear that."

I left my room and closed the door. I got the clothes in the laundry and got in the shower. While in there I got the bathroom cleaned. Emmett wasn't in my room when I got back, but everything was back on my desk. The clothes were in the dryer and that gave me time to go out to the store. I took the trash and recycling with me.

Emmett was standing by my truck by the time I reached it. We didn't say anything and climbed in. The ride was silent and very awkward. He followed closely behind me the whole time, like a shadow. It was creepy and people definitely stared at us. He helped me with some of the bags and placed them on the bed of my truck.


He didn't say anything. By the time I was parked he was gone once again. This was my life now. Someone was with me; Always. Carlisle had tried to convince me to go to the rez while they trained, but I refused. Sam had even come to talk to me, but there was no way I was going there. Instead, when the Cullens went to train one of the wolves would stay behind and they rotated every night. Unlike the Cullens the wolves could mentally communicate with each other so they didn't really miss anything besides physically being there.

The dryer was peeping as I placed the groceries on the counter. I went upstairs and separated the clothes. By the time I was done putting away the clothes and groceries it was late in the afternoon.

"You need to eat something." Emmett said.

"Not hungry."

"You haven't had anything all day."

"Didn't notice." I said shrugging my shoulders.

I walked over the fridge, but nothing looked appetizing. I sighed and reached for an apple. I grabbed the pot and filled it with water. I watched the water boil and took it off the heat. I grabbed a mug and one of my favorite teas.

"That's not a meal."

"I'm not hungry."

"Just remember that we can't protect a skeleton."

"Rude." I said as sipped on my tea. "This is not a thing if you're worried. I've just had a lot to think about."

"About what your dad said?"


"You know, when this is all over you're going to be one of us. You can't exactly go to college or have a job when you're a newborn."

"I know, but what am I supposed to do? My dad is serious about this."

"I'll talk to Carlisle."

"And what is he going to do? Give me a job as a doctor? That's not how it works."

"We'll figure something out."

"I need to figure something out. I can't rely on you guys forever."

I reached into one of the cabinets and pulled out a bag of chips. I walked up to my room and made myself comfortable on my bed. Emmett sat on my chair and pulled out his phone. I knew it was time for him to leave. He didn't say anything and was gone. I heard faint rustling outside my window and I knew one of the wolves was down there. Soon enough I heard my dad downstairs.

I might be fucking up right now, but I still wanted to prove myself to him. I almost wished I was downstairs to see his reaction to completing his list and to the additions I made to the end of it.

5. Laundry.

6. Attitude change.

I guess I knew I really couldn't avoid Jacob for long. I also didn't expect him to show up at my house any time soon.

"Are you just going to ignore me?"

That was a stupid question. I was pretending like he didn't exist. I kept eating my breakfast.

"Do you want me to apologize?"

I sighed deeply and finished the last of my breakfast. I started on the dishes.

"I don't think that I'm sorry, though. Will it still count if I say it?"

He hovered behind me and I tensed slightly. There were only a couple dishes, but I made it last longer than needed.

"If it means anything I'm totally down to take his replacement. I don't care if it's to make him jealous."

He had both his hands planted on other side of the sink. I ducked and went under one of his arms.

"Just give me a chance."


"Oh, you do speak." He laughed as he followed me into the living room.

"Why are you here?" I asked sitting down on the couch. "Can't you be outside like the others do?"

"I'm not going to let you chase me away anymore." He said joining me. "I know you might not be ready, but I'm going to try at least."

"And that's the last thing I want. You caused me my relationship."

"Tell me you didn't want it."

"I didn't, Jake." I said honestly. "I was happy…"

"But you were dreaming about me…"

"It was a dream. A dream manifesting from my own insecurities." I said. "You had no right to do that, no ground to stand on."

"But you like me."

"Yeah, maybe, I do. But not like that." I sighed. "Something neither of you seem to understand."

"I kind of feel like a piece of shit now." Jacob said shyly as he lowered his head.

"You're not the only one. I haven't been the most pleasant person to be around."

"I heard."

"I just want this to be over. The longer it takes the more irritated I get with the idea of seeing Edward."

"Maybe I can talk to him?"

"For what?" I asked annoyed as he joined me on the couch. "I love Edward that I can't deny. That's what hurts the most because I feel like he does, too. It makes no sense that we're not together."

"He's going to come back."

"Well I'm not going to wait for him."

"Yeah you are." He said laughing as if it was the funniest thing he's ever said.

"Stop." I said smacking him playfully, but it only enticed his laugh more. "I liked it better when I was ignoring you."

"Does that mean we're good?" He asked seriously.

"If you can be my best friend then I can be your best friend." I said.

"I think I can. Its complicated because a part of me really enjoys flirting and maybe getting to kiss you again, but there's another part that just wants my friend back."

"Are you sure you don't need time?" I asked.

"Cio, you broke my heart that day on my front porch." He said and grabbed my hand. "That day on your graduation I think I was just being vengeful or I don't know, but I was a piece of shit. Honestly, if I could I would drag Edward down here to get back with you."

"Thanks." I said chuckling.

"I'm so sorry." He said and fell into my arms tumbling us back.

"I forgive you."

"Really?" He said and pulled us back up.

"Edward and I…" I started and sighed heavily. "I think we started wrong. I fucked up and I think I forced something that we were both not ready for."

"What do you mean?"

"First of all, I dragged you into this and that was my first mistake. Edward had every right to feel insecure and not trust me. Then the whole kiss happened and it got all messed up again. I think I'm finally understanding that…"

"Are you having an epiphany?"

"I think so." I said quietly.

"What are you thinking?" He asked.

"Maybe all we have to do is start from the beginning."


"Start clean. Like me and you!" I said excitedly as I stood up. "If we can be friends then Edward and I can definitely be friends."

"It's not that easy."

"I don't expect it to be."

"He might not want anything to do with you."

"Can you be a little optimistic here?" I sighed as I sat back down feeling defeated.

"Okay. You're totally going to win him back and you will live happily ever after. The end."


"C'mon Cio. Has he talked to you?"


"Has he send you a message through his siblings?"

"Okay, he wants nothing to do with me." I said giving in as I covered my face. "This is all your fault."

"Didn't you just say it was your fault?"

"How am I supposed to fix this?" I asked.

"Talk to him."

"It's not that easy!" I said frustrated as I shot up to my feet. "He insists that I have feelings for you and that I would be better off with you. "


"Cause you can stop aging. I can have a normal life."

"Then that's what we're going to do." He said standing up.

"What are you talking about?"

"He wants you to have a normal life? Then I'll give you a normal life."

"You're making no sense."

"We're going out tonight. We're going to drink and party."

"You're crazy."

"Cio, you can't sit around and wait for him."

"He thinks I would be better off with you?" I thought out loud as a small smile spread on my face.

"Well being with me is going to fuck you up. Let's see if he still feels the same after everything. C'mon he told you live a little, right?"

"He also told me not to be careless."

"It's just a house party in the rez. What can happen?"

"That's usually followed with disastrous events in movies."

"Well this is real life. Please? I promise not to let it get out of hand."



"I'm not doing this because of your crazy idea. I'm only doing this because I want to."

"Even better."

I sighed deeply. Something told me I was going to regret this. But the only thing that made sense was that Edward did say for me to live a normal life. This is what teenagers do, right? God how am I so old at only eighteen years old.

The day went by rather quickly with Jacob by my side. My dad was surprised to see him there when he came home, but didn't say anything about it. At some point, we made our escape with me telling my dad I was sleeping over at Jacob's place. Apparently there was no training tonight and Jacob had requested to stay with me all day as he thought it would take him all day to get on my good side.

The party was crazy upon arrival. The lawn was crowded with kids and the house was even worse. I felt like I couldn't breath as hot bodies pressed against me. They were invading my personal bubble and I was on the brink of running when Jake handed me my first drink of the night. It went downhill from there.

The next morning my head felt like it had exploded. I couldn't even open my eyes, but my stomach was wide-awake. I rolled to the side and puked whatever was in my stomach. With my eyes still closed I rolled back and think. Pieces of my memory were coming back and I'm cringing. I remember a lot of alcohol and a lot of dancing. I was grinding on some random guy, I didn't even know I could grind. I slap my hand over my forehead as I remember Jacob with a girl. They're talking really close, too close. I remember making a scene as I demanded Jake explain who she was.

"You're awake?" Jacob asked and I feel a cold cup on my hand.

"You're Bi."

I take the cup of water and drink it all, but it doesn't settle well in my stomach.

"That's what you remember from last night?" He laughed.

"Besides the fact that I was a total embarrassment? Yes. Sorry if I ruined things with that girl…"

"It's not like that."

"Maybe if you had told me I wouldn't of reacted the way I did."

"Like a jealous boyfriend?"

"It just threw me off guard. I don't remember a lot, but you were kissing her or talking to her really closely like when a guy is trying to flirt."

"We were making out."

"I don't remember that."

"You were so pissed. You ripped her away from me so quickly I had no time to react. You made a big scene about me lying to you, that I had just played with you… that I had ruined your relationship with Edward for no reason…"

"It doesn't ring a bell." I said honestly, but my face was flushed.

"You were already pretty wasted. I didn't know you were such a lightweight."

"Me neither." I said and attempted to open my eyes, but the light was blinding.

"Sleep. You're going to need all day to recover."

"I am really sorry if I ruined anything with her."

"I met her the day that you chose Edward over me." He began. "I called Sam and told him that I was done. I left my phone and I ran. I ran as far as my human legs could take me and it was pretty damn far. As I collapsed on an open grass area in a park, this girl from the rez approached me. What are the odd?"

"The one from the party." I clarified.

"She asked me what I was doing in Yosemite Park and I started laughing. Do you know where it is?"



"Wow." I said in disbelief.

"She was camping with her family and she though it was so cool that another person from the rez was there. We got to talk, all night. I told her about you and Edward, no specifics, but enough. She decided that I had to experience new things or otherwise I would be hung up on you forever."

"So you started dating?"

"No. We just kissed, a lot, and I liked it." He said honestly. "Obviously it wasn't as intense like with you, but it was good. It made me realize that I could feel again, that I could love someone else. That I can get the same butterfly feelings and that racing heart. That it wasn't the end."

"Do you love her?"

"No and she knows that. She's not looking for anything either. So don't worry about if I'm stringing her along or anything."

"If this all happened then… Why did you kiss me at my graduation?"

"Because I still had feelings for you and she said that I had to keep trying. At least one more time so that I felt like I had done everything to win you over and I could finally move on. I think that's why it was so easy for me to let you go when we talked at your house. Cause it felt like I had done everything and you still chose Edward."

"Okay, I'm too hangover to have this conversation." I said and lay back down.


"We're going to talk about this girl. I want to know everything about her. I have to approve of her first." I mumbled.

"I told you…"

"The reason you could let me go was because you already have feelings for someone else…"

"We like to make out. Is that a crime?"

"You're young and naïve. It's never that simple." I yawned.


"You actually helped me though."


"I'm going to take her advice too." I yawned louder. "I'm not going to give up on Edward until I have tried everything."

I drifted off to sleep then.