Welcome ladies and gentlemen to this little fic that's been waiting around in my computer for quite some time now... It's supposed to be funny and not so serious. We'll see:p
Updated AN (as of chapter 24): So yeah I'm pretty sure this has turned into a Narusasu... Well I'm not complaining and it's probably my fault anywayX)
Btw, realized I hadn't written a disclaimer... I don't own Naruto, that would be crazy.
Chapter one: What just happened?
Uchiha Sasuke viewed the box in his left hand. It didn't even have the decency to be small! It was the size of perhaps three normal boxes for engagement rings together (what kind of box did you think it was – his lunchbox?) and the blue satin was covered with little red and white jewels on the top, forming the Uchiha fan. He hated it. It had been in his possession approximately 12 hours now, given to him by his dear grandmother last night, and this was the first time he'd taken it out to view it. Yes, he thought, it's irritating, ostentatious and has way too much smug pride, describing the Uchiha family to its very core. He sneered at it. And he was supposed to present this to his future fiancé? He shuddered at the thought. The kind of girl his father and mother had in mind for him would probably gush over it, all teary eyes and whatever girls looked like when they were proposed to. Yes, he loved his grandmother, but her so called dying wish to see him happily married felt like he'd just gotten his death sentence. Suffocating. And there were two obvious faults with her wish: 'dying' and 'happily'. Because in no way was the Lady Uchiha dying, she was probably healthier than most teens of today, and he would bet the family fortune that she would live to see at least another ten years. Which might have been cause for some relief on his part, if it weren't for the fact that she pretended to only have one of them left, two at the most.
He glared at the oh-so-innocent looking box again, and opened it with a frown of distaste. The rings were, if possible, worse than the package they came in. They were made of white gold, with an intricate pattern of yellow gold and then red rubies to top it off. On the female ring, the pattern met at the top and rose intertwined around the large ruby, whereas on the male one there were three smaller ones embedded in it. Maybe they were fashionable a thousand years ago when they were most likely made, and they were of course worth a horrible amount of money, but all the same Sasuke hated them. He hated that not only would he have to give away one of them and spend a lot of his life (no way his whole life) with the person carrying it; he would also have to actually wear one of them. And he hated it.
When he'd sat on his bed long enough just staring at it, he decided he might as well try out how loathsome a mock proposal would feel. Today could hardly get worse, could it? He kneeled appropriately on the floor, stretched out his left hand in front of him, and said:
"Oh, I've loved you for so long my darling, please do me the honor of marrying me." He raised his eyes to look into the ones of his imaginary bride, and felt himself freeze in chock when he actually found himself staring into a pair of blue eyes, giving him a blank stare. How the hell did Naruto sneak into my room without me noticing it?! And WHY didn't he say anything?
Before he had time to explain himself though, the blond in front of him put his hand on his chest and looked down at Sasuke in mock happiness.
"Why Sasuke! This was a truly wonderful surprise! With the way you've been acting so cold lately I thought something was wrong, and then it turns out you were just nervous about this!" He bent down and quickly snatched up one of the rings and put it on his finger. "I'd just love to spend the rest of my life with your pale bastard ass!"
When the ring was fit securely he raised his hand with spread fingers as if to admire it, and continued talking in his normal, annoying (to Sasuke), voice.
"Haha damn bastard, this ring actually fits pretty good! It's ugly as fuck though, I pity the poor girl having to wear it!"
"Idiot, that's the guy's ring" was the only thing Sasuke could choke out in his surprised and embarrassed state.
Naruto looked at the box again, and snatched up the whole ugly thing.
"Aha! I see, but this ring would be way too small for me, you should have taken it to a jeweler and had the size changed or something" he said as he took the smaller ring between his fingertips and examined it. "And it's even uglier than this one." He proceeded to waggle his ring-clad hand in front of Sasuke's face, which was now slowly being morphed into an angered expression. But before he had time to say anything to make the moron stop, Naruto did the very thing that would seal their fate without them knowing it. He grinned and promptly put the smaller ring on Sasuke's finger, and amazingly enough it fit.
For a while, all that the two of them could do was stare at Sasuke's pale hand, held in Naruto's obviously larger tanned one, the ring standing out like fresh blood on a white floor. Terribly wrong and morbidly fascinating. Naruto lifted his gaze to observe Sasuke's dark eyes, framed by darker bangs and even darker eye lashes. He waited calmly for Sasuke's outburst that he knew would come, it always came when Naruto annoyed his flat-mate to the point of breaking through his perfect Uchiha barrier, the one that pointed at you with a stick saying "Hn, you're so low beneath me that I won't even bother reacting to your dumb actions". He counted silently to himself, but when he came to five he started to worry a bit. He'd never gotten to five before. Usually he managed to reach two, on some rare occasions he would get to four and then get one hell of a beating, so five was quite alarming. And six? He hastily decided to stop counting and backed away slowly, Sasuke still having his gaze transfixed on the ring decorating his finger. He swallowed nervously, and scratched the back of his head.
By now he had reached the door. If he needed to run, he wanted a good head start, but Sasuke had yet to move and that made him hesitate in the doorway. He cleared his throat, and finally Sasuke reacted. However, he didn't do any of the things Naruto expected. He didn't yell at him, didn't launch himself forward to rip Naruto's heart out, hell he didn't even look at Naruto! Instead, he slowly reached forwards with his right hand, took a hold of the ring and attempted to pull it off. Attempted being the key word here. It seemed that the ring was of the size that lets you put it on, but gets caught when you try to take it off. For another minute that felt like an eternity they both remained still, simply staring dumb-founded at the not-so-cooperative piece of gold. And then the door bell rang.
"Ah!" Naruto exclaimed, snapping his head up as if suddenly released from a daydream. "That's what I was supposed to tell you when I came in, Kiba's here to pick us up, we're heading down to Ichiraku's!" He looked at Sasuke expectantly, as if he'd already forgotten the predicament they were in, and most likely he had. He was never one to dwell on stuff for long anyway. When Sasuke didn't respond, he huffed and retraced his steps to pull the still shocked bastard to his feet and proceeded to drag him out the door and to an awaiting Kiba. At least he let Sasuke put his shoes on, which he did, clearly still in shock.
Soo what's going to happen hmm? I suppose the summary gives it away though:p Review people! It makes me feel good... x)