The second one I already gave to Epic Laughter, but due to laziness of writing it again I'm posting it here. :P Enjoy it! ... Again!
Arfur sighed. Not again, the old bartender/inn keeper thought to himself. He looked in front of him, at the drunken Eskimo at the bar counter, his head buried in his hands.
"Why did it have to happen?" Sparcticus slurred, sounding truely distraught. Arfur shrugged, not really sure what to say to his friend.
"I'm so sorry my friend- who would have guessed Sahari was into girls?" he said. That's right, you heard him- Sahari was a lesbian.
Earlier that day, Sparcticus had been in the village, talking with his good friend Eddie when he saw it. His head had turned to an unfortunate sight.
Sahari was in town as well, but with a girl. This girl looked to be like she was from the desert, from the looks of her dark hair and desert-like clothes. Even worse, her hand was intertwined with Sahari's- His Sahari's hand.
He passed it off at first as one of those weird things that girls did every now and then, when he saw the desert girl lean over and plant a kiss upon Sahari's cheek, and that Sahari giggled back in a flirty way.
The whole world could have heard Sparcticus's heart break.
"I... I chased her so long... I missed my chance..." Sparcticus said, his eyes drooping over. Arfur sighed sadly. He didn't know what to say. Even he didn't know about Sahari's interest in women, and usually when people get drunk they will spill everything. Sparcticus sighed.
"Do... Do you think I might be able... to get her back?" He asked. Arfur shook his head.
"I'm sorry buddy, but being gay isn't a choice- she can't just decide when she can be straight and when she isn't,"
"Ugh... flapyakshit! She couldn't always have been a lesbian... I swore she was flirting with me the other day..."
"She was probably being friendly. Sparcticus, I think you just have to face it- Sahari only thought of you as a friend," Arfur said, a trace of apology in his voice. Sparcticus looked at him sadly, just before his eyes blazed angrily.
"W-Well, if she wants to be that way, FINE!" Sparcticus said, chugging down the rest of his drink. He slammed it on the counter, a mix of anger and hurt in his action. Arfur's eyes widened a bit, looking at his friend. Sparcticus looked at Arfur back, right in the eyes.
"If she wants to be gay, then I will too," He slurred. Arfur almost dropped his glass.
"Sparcticus, now, there are other girls, and it takes more than just a simple decision to-"
"Arfur... Sahari was, and will be, the only girl I will ever love. I can't settle for any other woman," Sparcticus said, one of his eyes drooping. Arfur raised a brow.
"... I don't know if that was the alcohol talking, or if you really just said something really poetic and romantic," Arfur said, nodding. Sparcticus nodded, a grunt coming from him.
"Yeah... being with a man can't be too much from a stretch from a woman..." The Eskimo said. Arfur blinked.
"Well, I wouldn't say-"
"I mean, with a man, a man like you," Sparcticus said, placing a hand on the inn keeper's shoulder, "I can do things to you, that I could never do to a woman,"
"I beg your pardon?" Arfur said in a creeped out tone. Sparcticus nodded, using his other hand to poke his chest.
"We.. we should like... do it..."
"Sparcticus, I'm starting to think that you might have had too much to drink tonight..."
"Sahari... would be SO pissed... if we did it... we can-" Sparcticus suddenly stopped talking when his head dropped to the counter, his hands sliding off of Arfur. Arfur looked over the passed out Eskimo, poking his arm to see if he was moving. Sparcticus let out a grunt, but he was out cold. Knowing that, the inn keeper pulled out his alert system and began to dial.
"Hello? Pinata Police department? ... Yeah, I was just calling to tell you that I was just sexually harassed... Yes, it was that Eskimo guy again..."