Okay guys, new story here. Please give it a chance and i promise you won't be dissapointed. It's the same rich Christian Grey and the same old virgin innocent Ana, but a diffrent more interesting story. This WILL NOT interfere with my other story Misunderstood Mistakes if that's what your worry about. Please read, fav, follow, comment, and PM. Do you like it? I've focused on trying to bring my writing level higher, so do you think I'm writing better in your opinion? Thanks and enjoy.
I tried to keep myself occupied by staying up and reading a book, but nowadays it's like a hunt to find a book that really captures my attention.
To me a book should be expresses one's self. A book helps you discover yourself, or figure out yourself piece by piece. When you read you should be able to connect with the characters, relate to them, you should be touched by the moral of the story, as well as the character is.
Like if the book is about killing a monster. What is the purpose of the book? That you will no longer be scared of any more monsters you come in contact with? Surly not, the purpose is more simplistic than that.
When I read books like this, I look beyond the total obvious. I look in between the lines to capture the total focus of the book. To me it speaks to me in a different meaning. We need to overcome our fears, and face the obstacles that may approach us in life. While it may seem like the impossible, the only thing really standing in your way is the amount of fear that you let override the situation.
When I think of that I think of everyday life, and how we all have our own monsters. Whether it may be small materialistic things, or are huge life threatening situations, which of us will kill our monsters, or let them kill us?
Then I think of how I've grown to learn this on my own. As a child we are never taught of the big problems that we will eventually face in life. We are brought up believing life is a big fantasy with princesses and princes, when in reality it's not.
I wish I were faced with the brutal reality of life at a young age to prepare me for what's to come when I have to face these problems head on. Because now I am lost trying to find my prince in this world, with no references to teach me. I've been thrown into this game blind, with nothing to guide me.
I've been exposed to pain, and pleasure, both which just brings me closer to finding the one every day. But with each relationship, I lose all hope of finding true love.
Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that. But yet I am still waiting for all the darkness and hate to be driven out of my life….
But with every day my thoughts are being poisoned, and the idea of love is becoming nothing more than a fantasy to me, a fantasy I'm yet to experience.
I close my journal, and stare out of the window. Everyone tells me how I can really relive all my built up anger by writing, and I have to say it has helped.
Ever since my mother passed away I have been a lost. I feel as If I'm going through life hoping to find even the slightest chance at being happy again, but I just hit a dead end.
It's hopeless. My father died when I was born so I never knew him. So now I'm living with my aunt, which is more of a big sister If you ask me.
I've resorted to boyfriends, none of whom fulfill this void. Of course they have never even tried seeing as how all they wanted was sex. I may be an orphan now, but I am not helpless, and desperate.
So that leaves me a virgin in College. Yes my best friend Kate thinks it's completely ridiculous and saying how I've set my standards way too high. She says I've created this illusion that this man will sweep me off my feet, and we will spend the night making sweet love.
But is it really too much to ask?
I grab my jacket, and head downstairs. I've never really been one to drown my problems in alcohol, but at this rate I will have nothing else to distract me from the sad reality that is my life.
I head out of my house and enter the cloudy night of despair. The air is brisk, and foggy. The darkness screamed danger as I stepped out onto the pavement.
The road was wet due to the recent rain that just diminished. It smelled of nature, and fresh leaves.
I inhaled deeply and relished in the feel of the air brushing against my face. I loved the rain. It was mist that patters above a quiet alcove and brings the scent of wonderment and renewal.
I adored it ever since I was small. I stepped into my 2012 back Cadillac escalade, and descended into the foggy night.
Yes money has always been descent for me. We were definitely recognized as middle class. My aunt is a senior executive producer in ESPN.
Since I am in my last months of College she has been constantly nagging me to take the opening in her job. Of course i appreciate how she is looking out for me but I am majoring in publishing, i would like to intern in a publishing company.
However if things don't go as planned it's nice to always have a backup plan.
I pull up in front of a well known bar. By the looks of it, it is not very busy in there tonight. Perfect for not running into any people I know. With exams tomorrow, i don't think it's a good look on me if I'm seen drinking.
I head into the bar and take my place next to a man.
"Rum and whiskey."
I shrug off my jacket and take a look around. There are about ten people here with the exception of myself. That's odd seeing as how it's Seattle and people are always drunk in Seattle.
"That's a little strong for a girl your size isn't it?"
My eyes avert from my surroundings and i place them to the man sitting beside me. Scorching grey gaze fixated on me; glass in one hand other hand on the counter.
"You'd think so but with the way's my life's been going I can give too shit's what's strong for me and what isn't."
"And what can possibly be going wrong in your life when you look as beautiful as you are?"
I snort, and grab hold of my drink as the bartender places it in front of me.
"You know flattery will get you nowhere," I take a sip from my drink and continue to answer his question, "Death, hopeless love life, stress, I'd even go as far as to say depression. Just the basic's to make a girl hate the shitty hole that's become of her life."
He gives me a quizzical look as if he wants' to retort back with something if wont like.
"Yeah and if you dare call me a Gloomy emo girl, you might want to think again, because I am like a ticking bomb and I might just have to kick your ass."
I give him a fake smile, and continue to sip my drink.
"I wouldn't say it in those words exactly but.." I glare at him and cause him to chuckle.
"I'd say Optimistic Gloomy emo girl at the least." He arches his brow and pivots his body to face me.
"Well my dear stranger friend I choose to think on the bright side and not be a pessimist. For example I am here drinking and not planning on a way to end my life. I choose to abide by the motto when one hit's rock bottom the only way t go is up. I know I've hit rock bottom, so I have no choice than to believe things will eventually turn around for me, if I don't I'll just fit every stereotype of every other gloomy emo girl."
I look at the man and he looks as if he is trying to figure me out. Trying to calculate me, but before he can get another word out I interrupt him.
"And what about you, you're not looking so mirthful and peppy yourself. By the looks of your clothing you're pretty rich, so money isn't the issue. By your looks I'm positive girls aren't the issue. So tell me what is it?"
He cocks his head back to finish the remainder of his drink, and I am mesmerised by him. This is the first time I've notices the good look he contains, and I am awe strucked.
From his finely chiselled nose, to his muscular jaw, from his piercing stare that captivates me and makes my breath hitch. As I scan his body I stop at his chest and can see the distinctive outline of his chest through his layer of clothing.
I am snapped out of my reverie when he looks at me again and smirks.
"Well I could tell you but then I'd have to kill you."
I smirk at him and nod my head.
"Surly telling me your little secret would have been better than telling me your secret is kill worthy."
"We'd never know than know will we?"
"You are definitely the most abstruse man I've met."
"I can say the say the same to you, ms?" He asks awaiting my answer.
"And why should I tell you my name if i know you have this big dark secret?"
"Every man has his quirks and twists."
"Just as every girl is entitled to a secret. And my name is my secret seeing as how i told you my whole life story."
"So where does this leave us then, a dead end?"
"I wouldn't say that. I'd say it leaves us with one hell of an interesting night, and the million dollar question: What if."
I finish the rest of my drink, and look in my purse to find my wallet. But the mystery man beat me to it, and placed a bill on the counter to the bartender.
"Think of it as a thank you for the interesting night. You were definetly a distraction from my problems."
"I'm glad i can help." I get off from the stool, and find the man leering at me with a look of longing and want.
"I'm glad I can help. Goodnight."
And with that I head out of the bar, and into the night that no longer has that sense of danger, but wonder.