They're Judging Me

I took a deep breath. Why was I so nervous! It's not like I haven't performed in front of people before. And thank God this wasn't live. I could never forgive myself for giving such a horrendous performance. My hands spasmed to the point where you could see them a mile away.

I couldn't do it! I can't! "Gethsemane, are you ready?" My best friend Emily walked into my dressing room; she spotted my face in the mirror. "What's wrong?"

"I'm terrified, that's what's wrong." I felt completely miserable and blessed at the same time. "What if I do horrible?"

"You've been practicing these piece for 3 years, are you trying to tell me all that hard work is going to be destroyed in one night?"

"Yes."

She signed heavily, spun me around and planted her hands roughly on my shoulders. "You'll. Do. Fine." She said it as if there was no room for debate.

"What if they don't like it that I'm a woman?"

"Frédéric has had many female understudies in his time."

"But there hasn't been any female musicians then."

"Clara Schumann. Have you forgotten?"

"They don't like my interpretation!"

"All of them know music is subjective."

"I'm wearing pants!" I was running out of ideas.

"George Sand." She gave me a boring look, raising her eyebrow, asking if I had a better comeback.

"I'm African American." Straight face. -_-

"Geth!"

"What! It's an honest concern." I folded my arms, sticking my nose in the air

"They've been here long enough. They've gotten use to it."

"But-"

"No butt's, I and everyone else have already performed. Now it's your turn." She grabbed me by the arms and pulled my out the room. My hidden excitement, made me look forward to the performance. "Do you really think that if you were a bad musician the dean would have chosen you?" I took that as a rhetorical question, knowing full well I would come out of that conversation more of a loser than I was now.

We were now in front of the door, my hands feeling empty. Looking around frantically I found what I was looking for, laying on a nearly by table. "Who are they for?" Emily asked as I retrieved them. "You'll see soon enough." I said my breath already picking up from stage fright. She shook her head, "Your obsession is not healthy." Her words barely heard. With a light shove I stumbled through the double doors. I was greeted by a room of 30 people. A private concert, put on by the top students of MMUC. Upon hearing my entrance, they greeted me with applause.

To my ears it sounded awkward. I was so use to a cheering, noisy crowd of 100 people. I always perform playing tests on a stage in front of the class, not in a closed off room such as this. The front row could probably see my fingers; they could see my technique, if it wasn't up to par I would imagine they would judge me as a horrible musician. And since they were the best musicians off all time, it turned the heat up a little hotter. Nervously, I made my way to the front, turning to my idol and handing him my offerings. "A yellow rose, a symbol of friendship. A letter of my gratitude and appreciation." I said quietly, handing him the gifts one at a time. Chopin smiled lightly and said a small thank you. I thought I heard a few snaps of a reporters camera as his hand brushed against mine. As if I were a child with her hand caught in a cook jar, I looked away, my eyes landing on Franz Liszt. I threw him one of those you-don't-know-me-but-I-know-you-smiles as he gave me one of those curious stares. Straightening up I turned around and looked towards my lone partner. Slowly but with purpose I walked the short distance to the grand piano, sitting myself down on the hard bench.

The applause was dwindling now. My eyes mapped out where the opening keys were located. My foot moved into position. Everything went blank.


...The wonders of time travel...

The backstory is that through time travel, scientists are able to bring back Chopin, Liszt and just about all the greatest and well known musicians of all time and pack them in a tiny room so as a 'welcome back party thing' people can perform works from the past and future to them.

Yep, that's what listening to classical and/or romantic music 24/7 does to your brain :P

If you're wondering she performed Fantaisie Impromptu, a piece I'm obsessing over right now


God bless!