The future cheats us from afar,
Nor can we be what we recall,
Nor dare we think on what we are.
"Well what do you want me to do about it?"
"Please don't shout Kev."
"I asked you a question!"
Connor bit his lip to stop his voice tembling, his eyes were wide in shock at the livid expression on Kevin's face. His eyes were wild and his jaw was set. He'd never seen him this angry.
Well that was lie. He'd never thought he'd ever see Kevin this angry. A year into marriage it felt like love was never ending. Two years and there was still something special. Five and they renewed their vows. Ten was getting harder. Fifteen harder still. Twenty years was a long time to keep love fresh.
The thing was, two young men caught up in a fast paced whirlwind romance, confined to two tiny rooms and the thin wall in between, spiced and fevered by the Ugandan heat, would not have lasted any where else.
"You always blame me for everything." Kevin said sullenly, turning his back on his husband. Connor moved closer to him and sighed.
"Stop sighing! I'm so fed up with your sighing!"
"Kevin I can't help the way I feel."
"Well how do you feel about me?"
"You always turn this on yourself."
"And there you go sighing again!"
The tension was thick in the air between them, the space growing wider and wider apart. Connor couldn't even remember what they were fighting about, he never could. Someone said something, or rather didn't, and the next thing they were both shouting at each other in a row that would make the neighbours blush. It used to be something they could solve with time apart, or even make up sex, but now it was becoming more difficult to handle.
"I thought you'd stop being a child eventually," Connor said to Kevin's back, "I used to think it was charming but now it just irritates the hell out of me."
"And you can never take a joke, you just look down on me like you're better than me. All the time. In front of other people too. I'm sorry that I'm a jealous person, I'm sorry that I'm too flawed for your brilliance, you're just making it obvious that I'm just not good enough for you."
"You're ridiculous, I've had enough of this." Connor began to walk up the stairs, not wanting Kevin to see his red eyes and the tears that were beginning to form there. His voice had grown hoarse with anger.
"What do you want Connor? Just tell me what you want!"
"I want…I want a divorce."