Author's Note: Oh dear, this chapter has taken a long time to get through! My next chapter is nearly finished so you won't have to wait in a pit of dispair again!
THE CHRISTMAS OF EVES
And finally, that one day of the year everyone either got hilariously drunk and depressed or spent it in consummative bliss came to pass. That one day when a fat elderly man barges into our homes unannounced with a large sack and asks for our children. Ah, Christmas Eve.
Oh no, I'm not the cynical or anything – normally I enjoy Christmas as much as the next person! But seeing as this year differed quite a lot when it came to the company, needless to say I was a little miffed about the situation. Ya feelin me?
Okay also, Aro called my mom and she asked him what he was doing for Christmas. Let us break that down so we all can see the the wrongness in that sentence:
1. Now honestly, the fact that it was a vampire that called my mother is not the worrying part (as it probably should be) but the fact that it was ARO makes it so much more worrysome.
2. WHY WOULD HE CALL HER? WHAT – OH DEAR GOD I HOPE THEY HAVEN'T SWAPPED KNITTING PATTERNS YET HAVE THEY?
3. What in the world must he have said to make her WANT TO INVITE HIM FOR CHRISTMAS BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED! JESUS
You can imagine my reaction when he told me about this while taking his daily 2 hour long bubble bath like he was the queen of sheba. His eyes were ever so innocently cast down and his marble fingers playing idly with the bubbles (he'd covered himself up pretty good thank you very much). And uhm, I had gone in with my eyes closed because I needed a scrunchie okay?
"Such a polite mortal, a shame really that it hasn't been passed on to her offspring." He said, making me open my eyes and crouch down to glare at him by the tub. I sort of took a funny notice to the way he resembled a white rat with red eyes with all those frothy white bubbles covering most of his body like a blanket.
WHY AM I STILL ATTRACTED TO HIM WITH THAT DESCRIPTION?
"I am polite. In most cases that does not involve the undead creating mischief." I hissed, standing up once more to go drown myself in some eggnog. Maybe if I consumed enough alcohol it would erase all illogical and almost morbid attractions.
No, Space jam is forever sacred. Never forget.
Apparently this invitation magically encompassed Heather along with Caius, I don't know where they came from but when it was time to go they were already waiting for us in the car when we got in to drive to my parents house. I wasn't so surprised at heather tagging along, but Caius… I looked back at him from the passanger seat in front with suspicious beady eyes of suspicion. He did the same.
"Why are you coming along to this? " I asked.
Caius glared daggers at the back of the drivers seat, as if maybe his vision alone could make it explode, then sighed heavily as he looked out the window like a sullen kid.
"Someone persuaded me, let's put it like that." He muttered haughtily.
I shrugged, Aro probably wanted some kind of familiar entourage to the festive occation. Oh yeah, he was driving again – since neither me, Heather or Caius had any driving skills. He flexed his white fingers against the steering wheel and grinned, while I gulped and prayed for santa to save me. Aro caught my look of desperation as my hands clung to the sides of my seat, and he reached over and patted one of my gloved hands in a motherly fashion.
"Come on, let's be merry." He uttered silkily, in that freaky grandmotherly voice of his, which sounded really strange coming out of a grown man's mouth. Heather started singing Christmas songs horribly off-key while Caius delicately put a hand to his temple, trying his best to ignore it.
Well, I had a feeling that this was one Christmas party I was not soon going to forget.
When we arrived after half an hour reckless driving that resembled something you only witnessed in Mario cart, I was surprised to see so many cars lined up in the drive way outside my parents house. I guess it was a really big family reunion this year. I briefly thought if there was going to be a lot of people, perhaps we could just blend in and avoid untimely social disaster. In the backseat, Heather was still singing her Christmas tunes – her voice something like a mix of a tone deaf toddler and Ursula the sea witch. Caius was already standing outside the house, waiting for us and kicking the snow. The view in the front seat wasn't an improvement, as Aro stared fixedly at my parents house, lit up and full of people.
He had that certain glow in his eyes that could either be interpreted as "excited" or "I want to cover walls with blood of the innocent and tap dance in the mush of human remains". I wasn't certain about which it was, a bit bothersome if you ask me.
Just as we were standing by the front door and Heather rang the doorbell I sighed and tried to improve the situation.
"Okay so, I'm saying this to everyone in the group : please, please, please try to behave if you can and remember that it's Christmas. " I said, rubbing my temple. Heather shrugged it off and started banging on the door like a rampaging gorilla.
"Meeehhh, you just don't want us to have any fun you little beanie butt. It'll be great, you'll see!"
On second thought, maybe it was just Heather I should be worried about. She was dressed in a zebra striped dress that was barely there, coupled with a santa hat on her head and red boots. But her choise of clothing wasn't really the issue, oh no. I knew what sort of effect alcohol had on her, and I really did not want find her macking with one of my uncles tonight. I'd gotten a nice red velvet dress for the occation, and for once I thought I actually passed for someone grown up looking. I looked over at Caius and Aro, who dressed impeccably as ever (hey, they're Italians, they can't help being fashionable) but I did a double take at their eyes. Shit.
"Uhm, guys? What happened to the contacts?" I asked delicately, with a touch of panic.
"Isn't the color suited for the occation?" Aro asked, tilting his head and deliberately widening his eyes, which sparkled with great timing. Well I had to admit, he did have a point. Maybe my relatives would be so drunk already that they wouldn't notice anyway. I nodded thoughtfully.
"Fair enough. If anyone asks we'll just say you've got a severe case of pink eye." Half a second later, the door was thrown open to reveal my mother. The blonde fuzz on her head that passed for hair nearly blinded us all, as did the extravagant Christmas decorations inside. Maybe I didn't mention my mother's freaky obsession with decorations earlier, but I wanted to spare you. When she saw us her mouth split into a smile that could almost rival Aro's, if he had an inclination for orange lipstick.
"OH HA HA HA WELCOME MINNIE MINA MERRY CHRISTMAAAAAS!" She bellowed and squealed, her laquered hands (claws) reaching out to welcome us in to the house. Somewhere behind the onslaught, I thought I heard Caius wimpering quietly.