In my opinion, there are too FEW Joan & Annie family stories. Their relationship is so complex and is one of the best parts of the show...besides Auggie and Annie ;]
Joan doesn't like weaknesses. They lead to errors that can cost lives in her line of work. That is why she took a couple of days off. She thought that it would help clear her head of her weaknesses: drugs, Seth… and Annie. The drugs had been an too tempting option to ease the stress and tensions of work while Seth had been the temptation with a familiarity of an old life that she decided to give up, but Annie… still is a very complicated reminder of what-should-have-been. She didn't realize how attached she had grown to Annie until Annie was nearly taken away, several close times. Every time, her heart beat a little quicker with fear.
Arthur probably saw what she had yet to figure out but he chose to ignore it. They had discussed it at least more than a dozen times and each result was the same: a heated argument about work and no solution. So they both let the conversations die, but apparently, in her heart, Joan had never thought she wouldn't have children. Her job is making sure everyone in her care is safe so the motherly instincts are deeply imbedded in her job but she never believed they would surface as strongly as they had when Annie came into her life. Arthur probably saw her want for children, a daughter, arise when she was dealing with Annie but decided to ignore it. It was easier for him to let himself not care for most of the people he works with and she knows that. It's just some times there is so much diplomatic, working-both-sides attitude she can take.
She doesn't know what to do… with her weakness. She doesn't want to shove Annie away in a box labeled 'work only' yet her pain might be solved with the strictly professional relationship that box offers. Her struggle to finally define what Annie should be in her life is further complicated by Annie's cruel rebuff at her attempts to reconnect. Auggie insists Annie has been trying to prove herself, but from her side it feels like she is being shoved away.
So here Joan is, 7 am sharp and trying to make sense of everything that has happened while she was away on her break. Her mind reels as she sits by her desk, looking at the reports monitoring Annie's situation. After Annie's call to her, Eyal is now reported as kidnapped and Annie is in Amsterdam trying to save him and kill Khalid while Auggie is in Iraq.
"Joan?" A tech op named Julie sticks her head through the now open door. Joan snaps out of her thoughts and looks up at the woman. The only communication she gives is a silent glance of patience. "Auggie is on line 2." And with that, the woman is gone. Joan picks up the phone and presses a button.
"Yes?" She tries to keep the impatience out of her voice but the situation growing in Amsterdam is calling her full attention.
"Joan, I'm in Amsterdam. Annie called me and she needs my help." Her heart twinges, unable to keep the fear at bay. Another part of her wishes that Annie had asked more of her during the call made less than a day ago and to be the person Annie turns to for help. Her mind scolds her heart for pulling Annie away from the 'strictly professional' box.
"What do you need?" Her response would have been immediate, if not for her conflicting thoughts.
"This is probably going to get messy so we need an extraction team set up and back up standing by. Annie wants to try it without getting the CIA or Tel Aviv involved, but I made her agree to teams being ready." Auggie sounds tired but she knows he would do anything for Annie. If she were completely honest with herself, she probably would too but she can't focus on that now. Joan rotates in her chair and gazes out at the busy op center. She doesn't like that Auggie and Annie will be mostly alone during their mission but she knows there is hardly stopping Annie once she sets her mind to it. A ghost of smile lights Joan's face at her thoughts. Annie is so much like her when she was a young operative that it hurts.
Her weakness tightens its vice on her.
"Don't worry, we will be fine." Auggie seems to have read her mind even though the man is blind and a continent away. Joan turns back to her desk and starts to write an email requesting the things Auggie and Annie need.
"I've got it taken care of." She doesn't trust herself to say anything else. A simple 'okay' would acknowledge her concerns about the mission yet she can't say it. Auggie was put in a special box long ago. His honest work and trust in her earned her respect that few have held.
"Oh, and Joan?" Auggie's voice calls out to her like a last minute thought.
"She needs you too." Her breath hitches in her throat when she hears him say that. The ache in her chest continues to grow with unfulfilled wishes. And for once, Joan allows herself to hope- for a future with Annie, willingly, in her life. The deep need for a daughter would be filled by Annie, if only minimally.
The phone line beeps as an indication that Auggie has hung up. She slowly puts the phone down as her thoughts continue to race. Did he just say that because he thought she needed it? No, Auggie wouldn't do that- he wouldn't lie to her. A shy smile lights up Joan's face when she thinks about Annie needing her.
A ding coming from her computer snaps Joan out of her thoughts. She quickly reads the email, which confirms back up will be sent to Auggie and Annie's location. A feeling of determination sweeps over her. When Annie returns home, she will talk with her and find out which box Annie wants to be kept in. No longer will Annie be her weakness; instead she hopes Annie will be her strength.
What do you think? Should i continue?