AN: Here is your next installment of our silly adventure. MidnightLove 87 calls it Threesomes Are Awesome. I wouldn't know, but it sounds fabulous.

By the way, I adore MidnightLove87, that's a fact. Working on this chapter with her has been so much fun. You know who else is fantastic…Midnight Cougar.

Enjoy!

Chapter 4

I laid there basking in the glory of being worshipped by two beautiful men at once. Oddly enough, I was unconcerned by my nude body. Normally, I wore a full coverage flannel nightgown to bed, you know, the kind that would typically be worn by my grandmother in the dead of winter. It gets bitterly cold here at night in my…I mean her defense. This night was the exception to the rule. I definitely didn't need flannel. Lips and hands were everywhere. My breath was already coming out in pants. There was no way I could say no. I needed this. I needed them.

Garrett was behind me, kissing my neck, smoothing his hands down my bare back and setting my nerves on a live wire. Edward was manning the front. His tongue was swirling in my mouth, swallowing my moans. It was delightful for two reasons. His mouth tasted delicious and he wasn't using it to say stupid things. One hand was touching my breast, squeezing and plucking at my nipple, while the other was delving between my thighs. My body was responding joyfully, but my mind wanted to run and hide in the chicken coop. I ignored it. Who needs rational thought? Not me!

Two men at once. Holy hell. Gulp.

Shit, this was going to be good. Messy but good. Damn, I would have to do an extra load of wash. But it would be well worth it, just one turn of my head told me that much.

I breathed out a sigh just as Garrett was rolling on a condom. I could feel his hard cock bobbing, while the sticky lube from the rubber drew lines all over my back.

Glee welled up inside of me. I was going to come. There was no doubt. These two would make me see stars. I was finally going to get that release I so desperately desired.

My hand caressed Edward's stiff, smooth cock. The size was daunting; he was so much bigger than Garrett. He actually reminded me quite a bit of Quentin. I had to force myself to stop thinking about that damn horse. Luckily, a deep groan from Edward distracted me from my odd thoughts and told me that he liked what my hand was doing. I stared down at his impressive package and stroked it again. It felt heavy, thick and glorious.

His lips pulled up into the sexiest smirk I'd ever seen and I knew his cock was going to feel good once it was lodged inside me. At least I hoped it would. It'd been a long time since I'd been with a man.

And I'd never had two men at once, certainly not even one close to as big as these two were sporting, but I was willing. I wanted this so damn much. Needed was more like it.

Garrett worked me over, spreading my cheeks and pressing into my puckered hole. This was when I began to freak out. What...I...whoa there, Nelly... His lubed fingers slid in easily, making pleasure jolt through me at the intrusion. I squeaked.

"It's all right, sweetheart. Just breathe through it," he whispered in my ear. It was sexy. It was romantic. It was the same thing he whispered to the cows when birthing the calves.

Of course, I would've never pegged him for an anal sort of man. Though...that would explain so many things.

Edward's long, deft fingers performed a similar task as they probed deliciously in my pussy. Both of them were preparing me. They were getting me ready. They wanted to take me. Keep me as theirs and when we finally took that step I would be theirs…completely.

Garrett's strong arms lifted me into place. I was on top of him. Reverse cowgirl. The last time I was in this position I was on a horse. This sure as hell wasn't The Culver County Rodeo!

Edward helped line us up, before Garrett finally pushed in. And I slowly sank down onto his amazing cock.

Garrett's breath stopped. His heart thumped a steady beat underneath me. We were connected so much that I could feel him pulsing deep within me. The waves of energy darting from all of us were warming me thoroughly. It was then that I realized nothing felt off about this. It was all right.

It was hard to breathe. Hard to think all of this was real and actually happening. Pleasure was flooding my body at an alarming rate. I was trying to remember how we ended up here. That what started as showing Edward around the farm, while mocking him, turned into this sex-fest in a hayloft.

My mind, through the clouds of passion, thought back to the events that led to this. Edward was making light of my management abilities in egg production, and I was calling him a pansy boy, when we started kissing passionately in the barn. Garrett forgot something, only to come back and catch Edward and me mid-act. He immediately dropped what he had forgotten and joined in.

I was jolted out of my reminiscing when Garrett moved his hips hesitantly.

"That's it man, keep going, farm girl loves it," Edward told him. Why, oh why, must he open that pretty mouth and avoid doing something useful?

My eyes blinked open only to catch a glimpse of Edward rolling on a condom. This was it. I was about to get my wish.

He kissed me reverently and sweetly before whispering some even sweeter words; I would've never pegged him for a romantic. That was breathtaking and wonderfully unexpected, making the whole act even more intimate. Then he covered my body, his hand slipping between us, fingers sliding into my sopping wet center one last time before he plunged his hard as steel dick inside me.

"Fuck," I screeched, feeling so full. Feeling so worshiped and all the pleasure that went along with this passionate act.

I was already on the edge just from their foreplay. Now, I was teetering. I only needed a little bit more. But when Edward looked up, gazing into my eyes with that devilish smirk, I knew I wouldn't be getting just a little bit more.

It would be a lot.

He rolled his hips, making sure I was comfortable. Garrett moved his, keeping time with
Edward. In and out. In and out. And fuck the coil wound tighter. My mind felt like it was going to explode. There was nothing I could do. I was just along for the rides.

And then they both slid in, to the hilt; that was what set me off. Spiraling into the most intensely gratifying orgasm I'd ever experienced in my entire life.

My heart thumped, my mind clouded, my body buzzed.

It was incredible, unbelievable, and absolutely amazing.

Then just as I was coming down, preparing for mind-blowing-ness number two, I was being pulled away from the comfort of Garrett's rock hard abs and Edward's deep green eyes. Because, I was tossed off like a rag doll. That's when Edward and Garrett started kissing with gusto.

They slid out of me and began playing pork swords.

I stared in shock as the lip locked men became smoky, almost as if they were disappearing.

"No, no, no," I shouted, trying to reach out and grab both of them but they had drifted too far away. "I need another orgasm, damn it!"

And then that awful sound assaulted my ears.

Ring...Buzz Buzz...Ring...

What the hell?

I sat up, trying to clear the fog from my brain.

What the fuck was going on?

Ring...Buzz Buzz...Ring...

It was my cockblocking phone. I quickly reached for it, feeling like I had just been robbed. It'd all been just a dream!

Damn it.

"Hello," I whispered groggily.

"B?" A very familiar voice asked quietly.

"Yes Em?"

"Hey, um, I was wondering if you could come get me?"

I groaned, knowing the speech about being a responsible adult wasn't really worth it.

"Why do I need to come get you? You have two legs. Can't you walk?"

"Well, see that's the thing...I sorta got arrested."

"Fuck," I muttered. "Yeah, I'm on my way."

I hurriedly changed my panties, dashing around, trying to leave quickly. I shook my head as I thought about my dream, it was the best sex of my life until the end and sadly, it was all fictitious. Worst reality ever.

I arrived down at the local police station a few minutes later. We lived in a small town; it was a place where everyone knew everyone. And of course that meant that whatever Emmett's infraction was, the entire town was bound to know about it too.

"Hi Timmy," I said to the Sheriff as I rounded the corner and approached his desk.

"Well, hey there, Bells," he greeted me as he chewed a wad of tobacco. "Did ya hear the football team is planning a car wash next Saturday?"

"Is Em here?" I enquired, ignoring his small talk, wanting to cut to the chase.

"Oh yeah, he's in the back. But I can't let him go yet," he told me, straightening his stance. "That boy needs to cool off in the clink for a while."

I gave him an annoyed look. "And why's that?"

"Because Bells, he got pulled in for indecent exposure. That's lewd conduct for you laymen."

"The fuck?"

What could he possibly have been doing?

"He and Ms. Hale were knocking boots in the back of her car on Main Street. You know Main Street Bells, there's kids that could'a seen."

He shook his head looking very disappointed.

"Shit," I muttered.

"Yeah, it was a terrifying sight. My deputy started crying."

"I bet. Anyway, can I talk to the big oaf?"

"Sure, he's right back there, cell three. And our little wild thing is in four." He waved at a large door.

"Got it," I said as I moved further back toward the holding cells.

Timmy was right. I walked down through the hall and there was Em, slouched over, weeping into his hands with no pants on. And in the next cell over was a scantily clad Rosita. She looked pissed, put out and her makeup was smeared. This was bad. So bad. In fact, other than that Em woke me from what had to be the best dream I'd had in a long time, I didn't think this day...erm...night could get worse.

"Emmett Dale Swan, what on Earth did you think you were doing, getting me up to come down here and bail your ass out of jail?" I asked as sternly as I could. "Sweet baby Jesus, boy! Where's your pants?"

"My Spanish Rose ripped them." His head snapped up and those crystal blue eyes looked at me. He was a lost puppy looking for a bone.

I look down at his bare legs and Boston Red Socks boxers that were about two sizes too small. "I think a rip would be better than your lower half being practically bare."

"She shredded them."

"Oh." Of course, she did. "Listen up, Em..."

Emmett's tears came streaming down his face. "I'm sorry sis, I didn't know who else to call."

I huffed out a breath, making it clear I was annoyed. "Listen, Timmy says you can't go yet, so I'm gonna leave the cash with him and head back home. We'll talk about everything when you get there. I love you, big brother, but you can walk that fat ass back to the farm."

"Wait, sis?"

"Yeah?"

"Um, would you mind...um Rosie, she doesn't have enough to get herself out and it's my fault she's in here and all," he told me, rubbing his neck, looking at the floor.

I rolled my eyes, feeling more and more anger surface. I was going to kill him!

"Fine," I screeched, stomping off back to where Timmy was still at his desk. "How much will it cost for me to spring the idiot and the harlot?"

Timmy scratched his head. "What's a har-lot?"

"It's a name for the bar wench that destroyed my brother's pants."

His eyes lit up in recognition. "Seems that bail will be two-eighty a piece."

"Goddamn it! Fine. Here." I handed him a wad of cash that had been stored beneath my floorboard in my bedroom. There was no better place for it. Those banks were nothing but lying, thieving, energy wasting, shit holes. And my 10 gauge was as much security as I needed. "There goes my rainy day fund."

I just wanted to get home to the comfort of my bed. I missed it and my dream. I wanted it back, needed it really. That orgasm earlier was the first in a long time. And by the way it made me feel, I needed more. Maybe even real ones provided by a red-blooded, callous-handed man.

That was my plan anyway, until I walked out into the bright sunrise and looked over to the bar across the street that Rosita worked at. It was only nine in the morning, but it was already open. I had heard they decided to serve actual meals, but I never usually ventured into town this early in the morning due to chores on the farm. Today, however, I was after a liquid breakfast.

I stomped into the building with its wood panels and wagon wheels on the wall. The theme was the Wild West in Vermont. That didn't bother me so much because a good number of businesses in the area had a nautical theme. I always thought those places made even less sense due to the fact that the Cape was a four and a half hour drive away.

I plopped my body down on a worn stool. Its green, plastic covering ripped and covered in
indiscriminate stains. But, it didn't bother me none, I lived with Jasper.

"Bella Swan, girl, whatcha doin' in here so early?" Crusty-old Pete the owner questioned with a grin.

"Emmett."

He hooted. "I heard about that! Big Ro is a saucy thing, ain't she? That boy has got himself in love with trouble!"

I hit the counter. "Whiskey, Pete!"

"Bella, don't ya think it's a bit early? I can make ya some scrambled eggs and sausage."

I gave him the evil eye. "Pete, I live with Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum. I have the 'man' sniffing at my farm to add it to some corporate cow dynasty. My hair hasn't looked normal since my mother did it up pretty on my sixth Christmas. Do you really think I want scrambled eggs and sausage?"

Actually, I did want some sausage...of the man meat variety.

"Whiskey, it is!" Pete exclaimed with a nervous gulp.

His gray whiskers bobbed as he swallowed; looking as though he was trying to find the right words to comfort me. But I knew full well that wasn't going to happen. Let's be honest, there were no words to help my situation. Like Daddy used to say, you make your own destiny, and I was simply going to have to strap on my shit-kicking boots when I got home.

While I sat waiting for my beverage, I thought about the previous day. Edward had finished that fence. He'd done a great job, making the front pasture in good working order again. I hated to admit that, but it was true. It was something that really needed to be done and my lazy brothers would have never gotten around to it. Feeling altruistic, I took a good hour and showed him all around the farm. He was a sweaty, sexy man by then and my lady parts were tingling just from looking at him. If he would've just stood around and looked pretty, all would have been well. But there was no way that man could shut up. I had to listen about profit dividends and how to maximize milk production.

It was horrible. I couldn't stand the guy, but that dream was a perfect example of how my libido didn't line up with my superior brain. Garrett was an understandable choice. He was sweet and kind, brilliant to boot. We had the same philosophy of animal rearing. We would fit, so perfectly. That was why my wanting to mount Edward the jerk was not rational in the least. I needed a distraction. I needed a plan. I needed to grow some balls and be brave. I was going to ask Garrett out on a date.

"Here you go, Bella." Pete plopped the glass of whiskey in front of me.

A small framed woman sat next to me. "I'll take one of those, too. Goddamn, motherfucking cramps... I am not talking to you, Newton! I need you to fax those... Damn it, man! Get on the computer and find some place to send it to in this hole in the wall! Do you know where I can find a CVS or Rite Aid to get some damn tampons in this town that time has forgotten? Do you?"

I turned to see her pinched face staring at me. Her dark hair was slicked into a severe, short hair style, something rare in this town. The charcoal suit she wore was most certainly worth more than my entire wardrobe. There was one of those Bluetooth gadgets stuck into her ear. She was bound to be one of the scariest things that I had ever met.

"Are you talking to me?" I inquired, looking her up and down.

"No, I'm talking to the creepy moose head stuck on that wall." She pointed at the head with a distasteful sneer. "Of course, I am talking to you."

I sneered back. "There's a General Store down the street. If you can lower yourself to going into such a backwoods dump I am sure you can find what you need there. Now if that isn't what you need then you can take those obviously painful heels back to where you came from."

"I like you." She gave me a genuine smile, which turned to a frown. "Not you, Newton! I think you're a little slug! Get back to work!"

"Are you finished with that thing?"

"Yes! This is why I'm drinking so early this morning. I thought I had that idiot trained to do my bidding, but I leave the city and everything goes to shit!" The woman complained as Pete set down her drink and she gave him a dismissive wave. "I'm Alice."

"Bella." I shook her proffered hand. "I deal with idiots, too."

"You have to keep them in line. Stay on top of them every minute, figuratively and literally. I'm controlling, demanding and refuse to take prisoners. I love molding men to my requirements, but Newton is too clingy. He was a perfect assistant until I took him as my lover. I need someone new to train."

"You're sleeping with the man?" I was in shock. Was I talking to a Dominatrix?

She gave me a grin. "Of course. I have no time to date. I also have particular activities I like to perform. I need someone who can not only be taught, but open enough to not ask questions."

A horrible, terrible idea formed into my head. I blamed Edward Cullen for making me into a warped woman. "Can you make someone more productive? If I had the perfect specimen for your techniques, could you help me?"

"Of course, who do you have in mind?" Her eyes lit up at the suggestion.

I was going to hell for throwing Jasper at this tiny beast. However, if it made him get his chores done and quite possibly make him happy it was worth the risk.

He'd been in such a funk since Daddy passed that he deserved some kind of joy in his life and my brother was into odd things, so he would probably thank me for this. I could only hope.

"Come to my farm this afternoon. I have someone I want you to—" I began to say as long, strong fingers gripped my shoulder.

"Why fancy meeting you here, Isabella Swan," Edward purred. He was wearing a snug, Dartmouth tee shirt and perfectly fitting jeans. I felt immediately wet and hated myself for it. "You've met my business partner, Alice?"

Oh fuck me.

No way, no how. This asshole was not in business with her...

"Oh Edward, this is the girl you want to—" Alice began, but was cut off by Edward's deep growl, soaking my undergarments even further.

Alice didn't even flinch, not showing the slightest bit of fear, she laughed. "She and I are going to be good friends."

I was about to end that potential friendship right there and then, but an idea hit me like a sledgehammer. I needed Alice on my side and for her to be smitten with Jasper.

Edward was likely to fail, even with his good looks and somewhat decent charm. But if Alice made good with Jasper, I could get him off my back by claiming his associate was doing a fine job by herself.

"Alice is coming to the farm today. No reason for you to show up. You aren't needed," I stated as my aching body rejected this statement. It needed him badly. I guess on some fucked up level, I actually wanted him there.

"Oh, I'll be there." He winked. "I was concerned with your milking techniques, you know, for the safety of everyone involved and all."

"I know how to milk a damn cow!" My temper flared.

He licked his lips. "I wasn't talking about the cows, Isabella."

Alice snorted.

"Goodbye, Edward. Alice, I will see you later." I grabbed my drink and in a move that would make generations of Swans proud I drank that whiskey down in one large swallow and marched out the door.

I headed to straight to Garrett's veterinary office. I would milk something all right. That something would be in the form of a handsome veterinarian and his fine cock.

To hell with the corporate asshole, he could go milk himself.