A/N 1:- Thank you to everyone who left me such kind messages of support. All your thoughts and well wishes are very much appreciated, things are still very difficult at the moment but we are slowly starting to get things back to normal. For those of you waiting, I promise I am still working on the next chapter of 'No Ordinary Boys' and hopefully it won't be too much longer before it's ready to be posted. :)
A/N 2:- For the purposes of this fic, the deal between yellow eyes and Mary in the episode 'In the Beginning' never happened. Hope you all enjoy. :)
Summary :- My version of why Mary Winchester makes the deal with Azazel.
It was the silence of the room that finally caused Mary Winchester understand. Yes, she had heard the doctor's words but it was like they just floated over her, her mind refusing to accept that what she was being told was true. She didn't even react as she watched her husband go from taking a swing at the doctor, threatening and demanding that he do something to breaking down and pleading, begging with the man to please, please save his son. She just sat there watching it all play out in front of her, it was like she was watching someone else's life because this? This just couldn't happen to her family. To her son. Her baby boy.
It wasn't until two hours later when she was alone in the hospital room with Dean that the truth slammed into her with a force that took her breath away and ripped her heart into shreds. Everyone knew when little Dean Winchester was in the room because if there was one thing her four year wasn't it was shy. From the moment he woke to the moment he fell asleep, Dean was little ball of endless energy who would fill John and Mary's days with questions about everything and anything. Anyone who met Dean would be grilled by the little boy until Dean was satisfied that he had learnt everything about them. Dean was never quiet but that's exactly what he was now. Her son was in the room but the only sounds that filled the room were the soft beeping noises and the rhythmic mechanical sounds from the machines keeping her son alive.
Mary choked on a sob as she watched her son's little chest rise and fall in time with the machine that was breathing for him, breathing for him because her baby just couldn't do it for himself anymore, because her baby was going die.
Just three months ago her life had been perfect. She had life she'd always dreamt of, a wonderful husband and a child she loved more than life itself with another one on the way. It was normal and it was safe. Mary's whole life before she met John was anything but normal, she knew the evil that was out there and she was determined that her children would never be raised the way she was. Their childhood would be filled with happiness and love. They would never know of monsters or hunters. Mary had fought hard for her normal life, to keep Dean safe from all the things out there in dark, but in the end it wasn't something supernatural that came for her son, it was simple human illness.
Acute myeloid leukaemia. When the doctor had first said those words three months ago, Mary had no idea what they meant. She didn't know it was a form of cancer that would poison her little boy's blood making him sick and leaving him vulnerable to infection. She didn't know it would mean hours of painful, aggressive chemotherapy that would leave Dean weak, crying out in pain and begging his Mommy and Daddy to make it go away. She didn't know that despite how hard Dean's body would fight, it just wouldn't be enough and three months later the same doctor who gave her the diagnosis would be stood grave faced in front of her as he tried to gently break the news that was nothing left for them to try. That the only thing keeping Dean alive was the machines and that it was only matter a time. That Dean was going to die.
"Dean," She clasped one his small his hands tightly in her own. His skin was cold and clammy and tears fell fast and hot from Mary's eyes, dripping down onto their joined hands. "Please baby, please...I...I can't...I love you so much...You can't leave...please, Dean..."
Dean remained silent and still. His face a sickly grey color and the huge circles under his eyes were so dark they looked like bruises. "I need you Dean," Mary wept, "I can't live without you...I need you...Daddy needs you...Please come back to us." Mary pulled his hand over to rest against her heavily pregnant stomach. "You feel that, Dean? You're going to be a big brother...You can't leave us baby...Please, wake up..."
Ever since Mary had fallen pregnant, Dean had been obsessed with the topic of his new baby brother or sister, wanting to know everything. How long would it take before he could meet them? What were they going to eat? How big would they be? Where would they sleep? Could he help feed the baby? Could he play with the baby? Dean had watched with fascination as Mary's stomach grew and he loved to feel the baby move and kick, a look of pure excitement on his face as he chattered away happily about all the things he was going to teach his new baby brother or sister. But now as the baby inside Mary gave a kick, Dean didn't move, didn't say a word and Mary lowered her head down next to Dean on the bed and sobbed until she couldn't breathe.
Mary didn't know how long she'd been sat there crying her heart out when a hand touched her shoulder making her jump in surprise.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle to you," smiled a doctor who she hadn't seen before. "Are you Mrs. Winchester?"
Mary nodded, watching closely as the doctor picked up Dean's chart and flicked through it.
"I'm Dr. Richards." He extended his hand out towards Mary. "And I'm here to save your son."
Mary froze half way through shaking his hand, "But...Dr. Green said..."
"That there was nothing else anyone could do." The doctor smiled once more but this time it looked more like a smirk, "Well lucky for you I'm not like anyone else." The doctor blinked and when his eyes re-opened they were a vivid yellow color.
Mary bolted up out her chair, instinctively placing herself in front of Dean, one hand reached across him protectively, the other splayed out over her rounded stomach.
The demon chuckled. "Relax. If I wanted kill any of you, you'd already be dead. I'm not here to hurt anyone. I'm here to save Dean."
"Right? Of course you are," Mary scoffed. "I know what you are. You're a demon."
"A demon that has the power to save your son."
"And just why would a demon care about saving my son?"
"Because you have something I need," Yellow eyes replied, "So, I'm here to propose a little deal. I'll save Dean if you give me..."
"My what? My soul?" Mary snapped, "I've heard all about demon deals. You give me what I want and all it costs me is my soul, right?"
"Oh, no, you can keep your soul, I just need you to give me your permission."
"For what? "
"Mmm, a while from now I need to swing by your house for a little something, that's all.
"For what?!" Mary demands.
"Relax, as long as I'm not interrupted, nobody gets hurt, I promise." The demon tilts head towards Dean. "Or you watch your son die and spend the rest of your life knowing that you could have saved him."
Mary looked down at her baby who was lying deathly still, his tiny body desperately losing its fight for life.
"Mary? It's a good deal, so what do you say?"
"It's going to okay now my angel," Mary whispered lovingly into Dean's hair as she placed a gentle kiss on his forehead. "You're going to be all better soon, I promise."
Mary smiled when she felt the sudden succession of small but strong kicks, "Hush baby," reaching down she rubbed her swollen stomach soothingly, "Don't you worry. Your brother is going to be just fine."
Of course what Mary didn't know and wouldn't find out until six months later when she is pinned to the nursery ceiling is that she had just sacrificed one son to save the other, and her last thought as she burns above her baby's crib will be, 'I'm so sorry Sammy.'
Hope you all enjoyed reading. :) Reviews are always appreciated and concrit is most welcome.