I was gonna wait until Stephen's birthday to do this one, but it's too far away! So screw it, I'm doing it now. XD


Quote Three: Stephen Really Wants That Pony…

I wished for a pony! –Stephen Colbert, blowing out Hanukkah candles

"Who was the smart guy who decided to actually put forty-one candles on the cake?" John stared at the fiery cake with worry. "I swear if a candle so much as hits the floor, I'm out."

The group of six correspondents was in the kitchen area behind the Daily Show set. On the table in front of them was a huge birthday cake adorned with forty-one lit candles for Stephen's birthday. Looking at the cake, there was hardly any way to even tell if Stephen's name or Happy Birthday was written anywhere on it.

"That would be Rob and Daniel," Samantha said, glaring over at Rob and Daniel. Daniel started snickering.

"Well, you guys asked me to buy the candles because didn't have any!" Rob shrugged. "So I spotted a 50 pack and went from there. And now we have nine extra. You should be thanking me."

"What the hell are we going to use nine candles for?" Samantha crossed her arms.

"Maybe they should use those for the age Stephen acts," Steve said, and Daniel and Rob burst out laughing.

"Seriously, guys, that cake looks like it's about to spontaneously combust," Ed examined the cake.

"Wouldn't that be hilarious as fuck if it did?" Daniel grinned and everyone was laughing except for John and Samantha.

"Okay, guys," Jon walked into the kitchen with a smile on his face. "Are you guys—" he suddenly frown as he gazed at the glowing fireball on the table. "What the hell is that?"

"Stephen's cake," Daniel said simply. Jon made a panicked face.

"Are you guys serious right no—?"

"Jon, you took too long!" Stephen entered the room. "You know that I'm impat—gasp!" He stared at the cake with admiration before beaming. "What is that?" He asked in a shrieked tone, probably a little more excited than necessary.

"Um, it's a cake…" Daniel said again, failing to understand how it wasn't obvious by now.

"F-for me?" Stephen pointed to himself as he slowly approached the cake. There was so much fire Stephen could feel his face heat up instantly. But he didn't care. The Daily Show correspondents actually baked him a cake. They had never done anything for his birthday in previous years for Jon's fear that he would act too much like an idiot, but Daniel must have put a good word in. He would have to give him the biggest hug later.

"Yes, now hurry up and blow out the candles before this place goes up in flames faster than I can say teacups," John remarked.

"Hey, what's the rush?" Steve said. "We have to sing him Happy Birthday!"

"Is a Happy Birthday really worth us burning to death?" Samantha asked.

"I think it is," Rob responded. "I mean, Daniel and I spent forever lighting these damn things."

"I don't even think there's any more lighter fluid in this damn thing," Daniel held out the lighter and scratched his scalp.

"So are we going to sing Happy Birthday or what?" Ed raised his hand. "It's getting really hot in here."

"Easy solution: take off your blazer."

"C'mon guys, the fire."

"The cake's not looking so good either."

"Happy Birthday~"

"Hey, wait, I wasn't ready."

"Dammit, Daniel!"

"YOU BLOKES ARE GOING TO KILL US!"

"STEPHEN, BLOW OUT THE DAMN CANDLES ALREADY!" Jon shouted finally, and Stephen perked up.

"Okay!" He took a deep breath and blew as hard as he could. Even then, only a few candles went out. He tried again. Maybe only four of the flames died.

"What the hell, Stephen?" John frowned. "Seriously?"

"There's…a lot of candles…" Stephen stared at the fire. It didn't even look like he had blown any out.

"Keep trying!" Ed encouraged. Stephen took a deeper breath than the first time and exhaled as much air as he possibly could on the candles. About half were extinguished now.

"Dammit," he sighed. "Are these trick candles or something?"

"No, you just suck," Rob snickered.

"No, it's just that he can't blow," Daniel remarked snidely and him, Rob and Steve burst out laughing. Samantha, John and Jon rolled their eyes.

"Here, Stephen," Jon walked up to Stephen and patted him on the back. "Let me help." Jon took a deep breath and Stephen joined him. They blew on the candles together, somehow managing to blow the rest completely out.

"Awesome," Jon smiled. "Good job, Stephen."

Stephen blushed. "Thanks…"

"Thank God," John sighed. "Now we don't have to worry about dyi—"

"Aww, shit!" Daniel interrupted. "Dude, you didn't make a wish!"

Stephen blinked. "Yes, I did."

Everyone made a face. "Huh?"

"I did make a wish," Stephen said. "I always do when I blow out candles."

"What was it?" Rob asked. Samantha lightly punched his shoulder.

"Stupid, he's not going to tell you—"

"I wished for a pony."

The room got incredibly silent. About a minute later, a cough was heard from someone down the hall.

Finally, John spoke up what was on everyone's mind. "What the fuck?"

Stephen stared at the Brit. "Well, after nearly having a heart attack trying to blow out all those damn candles, why not wish for one? It ought to come true since there were so many candles."

Daniel made a face. "Of all the things to wish for…" he glanced over at Jon, who looked away and scratched his chin nervously. "You wished for that?"

"Hey, don't judge," Stephen crossed his arms. "It was spur of the moment."

"Spur of the moment? You spent five minutes trying to blow the candles out!" Steve said.

"You know what, Steve? It's my birthday and I can wish for whatever I want—!"

"All right, Stephen," Jon rested a hand on Stephen's shoulder. "Calm it down."

"Yeah," Samantha said. "Let's enjoy your birthday. Happy Birthday, Stephen!"

"Happy Birthday!" everyone chimed, except for John who said it nonchalantly. He was just glad not to be burning to death.

Stephen smiled brightly, just glad to have finally made friends with the correspondents. "Thanks!"

Everyone gathered around the cake and spent a few minutes wondering if, from all the candle wax, the cake was even edible anymore. After the somehow unanimous decision that the cake was a goner, they decided to make a trip to the store to buy Stephen a new one.


"Jon?" Stephen walked up to Jon, who was standing by a bench in the park near his house. Jon had called him only moments earlier and asked Stephen to meet him at the park. "What is it? Do you need to talk about something?"

"No," Jon shuffled his feet without looking at the younger man. "It's just…you said you wanted a pony, right?"

Stephen blinked, then turned his head every which direction. "What?! Is there a pony here?!"

"No, I'm not going to buy you a pony," Jon said. "But if you really want to see some, there's a ranch a ways out of the city. I figured I'd take you there. Just a little road trip, the two of us."

Stephen tried to hold back the biggest smile ever but failed miserably. But he didn't care; he was too happy. "Yay, Jon! Of course!" He threw his arms around Jon so forcefully he almost knocked the older man over.

"Okay, okay!" Jon tried to resist the hug, but quickly gave up and hugged him back.

"This is the best birthday ever!" Stephen shouted.

"Yeah, Happy Birthday, Stephen," Jon smiled, glad he could make his best friend happy.


Omg, I make "Stephen" out to be such a child, how does this happen? XD

That poor cake, lol. Maybe not as bad as the cake in the third chapter of But I Just Want to Tell You I Love You! O.o

~Midori