It was inevitable that this was going to happen. XD


Quote Five: Stephen and the Conveniently Placed Mistletoe

Look, we're under the mistletoe! This is awkward. By Christmas tradition, we're supposed to kiss. –Stephen Colbert to Jon Stewart, A Colbert Christmas: The Greatest Gift of All! …And potentially whoring himself out under the mistletoe

Stephen stared at Jon as he began explicitly explaining the purpose of the mistletoe in Jewish tradition.

Well, Stephen supposed. Honestly, he wasn't really paying attention. As Jon kept making strange faces and ridiculous gestures, Stephen was thinking about the idea of kissing his best friend. He had placed the mistletoe up there as a joke, but now he was actually considering it…

"Y'know, Jon," Stephen crossed his arms, and Jon paused. "We could always try both traditions."

Jon made a disgusted face. "W-wha—? That was supposed to deter you from wanting to do anything, not actually want to do it!"

"Well, if you don't want to do it by your tradition, an innocent kiss shouldn't be all that bad…" Stephen lowered his head and scratched his cheek. What was he thinking? Did he really want to go through with this?

"S-Stephen…" Jon looked at him curiously, but Stephen couldn't return the gaze. "Are you…sure?"

"W-well…" Stephen's cheeks were turning a rosy red. "Why not? I mean, it is Christmas…"

"But I don't celebrate Christmas."

"Just go with it!"

Jon fidgeted a bit before his cheeks began to darken in color as well. He couldn't tell if maybe Stephen was joking about it or not. But Stephen didn't stutter very often and he was adamant about most everything he did.

So the fact that he was acting honestly flustered about it…

"J-Jon…" Stephen stepped closer to him and raised his hands up slowly. Jon closed his eyes for a moment as he felt Stephen's warm hands brush his cheeks. He opened his eyes slowly to stare longingly at his best friend. For a few moments, nothing happened.

Then moments turned into minutes.

"W-well, are you going to do something?" Jon stammered.

"I-I'm trying!" Stephen blushed.

Stephen then took a deep breath as he slowly but surely broke the space in between them. Jon twitched as Stephen's soft lips collided with his and his heart jumped. Every moment was awkward, but they tried to make the best of it and kiss just like any other normal person would.

Although, this definitely wasn't a normal situation.

Stephen finally broke the connection, and both of them were left huffing like they had just run a marathon. It wasn't that the kiss was tiring, it was just that their hearts were beating so fast that neither could calm it down.

"W-well…" Jon said. "T-that was…"

"…Interesting…" Stephen turned his head, still too embarrassed to face the older man directly.

They stood in silence for a moment, not too sure what really just happened. Stephen glanced out of the window and noticed it was now snowing pretty hard outside.

"Well, regardless of bears, there's no way we're gonna make it out of here in that blizzard," he said, scratching his head. Jon spun around and noticed the raging blizzard outside.

"Good point."

"W-would you like to stay here?" Stephen shrugged. "I mean, we have plenty of firewood for the night, and the couch pulls out into a couch bed…"

"Is there only one bed in here besides the couch bed?" Jon asked.

"Yeah, in the bedroom," Stephen pointed behind him.

"Well, if it's big enough, I don't understand why either of us needs to use the couch bed…" Jon blushed.

It took Stephen a minute to comprehend what he was talking about. "O-oh!" When he did, he felt dizzy. "R-really now?"

"Up to you…"

The blood was rushing to Stephen's head too quickly and he wasn't sure how it escalated from the mistletoe to sleeping arrangements so quickly.

"Let's just sit in front of the fire for now," Stephen pointed and sat down on the floor in front of the fireplace. Jon took off his scarf and coat, threw it over the couch and joined Stephen on the floor.

Neither of them said anything, just enjoying watching the mesmerizing fire and trying to take in all of what happened in the past few minutes. After some time, Stephen noticed Jon's hand holding himself up on the floor and he placed his hand over the older man's Jon twitched, but barely even responded as the two of them thought about what all would become of this night and beyond.


Arceus, that ending sucked. XD

Welp, of course I had to do a Christmas chapter for this. My thoughts on the awesomeness that would have been the greatest thing to ever witness on television had this happened on A Colbert Christmas.

#ThisDefinitelyShouldHaveHapp ened

Merry Christmas! :D

~Midori