Dont Own Glee (obviously... maybe for Christmas... or Hanukkah... or hell Christmanukka)


My leg bounced up and down erratically as I sat in the waiting room, waiting to hear my name called by the receptionist. I looked around at the other patients, most of them children, waiting for their own appointments. I began to crack my knuckles, nervously.

As if the dentist wasn't bad enough. Yeah, these kids were scared but none of them were dating their dentist's daughter.

I looked around the whimsically decorated room, trying to calm my breathing. Enough, I told myself. You are an 18-year-old man. It's just the dentist! Youre just getting a filling, relax!

Just as I was about to have a full on panic attack, I felt a small hand tap my arm. I looked down next to me at a little girl with curly brown hair and deep chocolate-brown eyes.

"Why are you shaking?" she asked, her voice innocent.

"I... umm..."

How do I explain to a kid that I'm afraid my dentist wont give me Novocaine because I'm sleeping with his daughter. She would be traumatized for life.

"Are you scared?" she asked, never taking her eyes off of me.

"No..." I lied.

"I am," she said, looking back to the ground. "Mommy said I had to go to the dentist no matter what. She said he's nice."

"He is," I said, praying he'd be as nice to me as he was to this little girl.

"You know him?" she asked.

I nodded my head. "He's been my dentist since I was around your age."

"Then how come you're scared?" She questioned. I opened my mouth to respond but nothing came out. "Is it 'cause he's gonna rip your teeth out?"

"No," I said, chuckling. "Is that why you're scared?"

The little girl nodded her head. "Mhm. My older brother Caleb said that when you go to the dentist, they rip your teeth out and then you can't eat nothing ever again."

"Brothers are mean," I said, thinking back on times I gave Quinn hell. It was our jobs to torture our sisters.

"Yup! Caleb once took my Barbie and popped her head off and flushed it down the toilet," she said, her eyes sad.

I felt bad for her, imagining what type of little demon this Caleb was. "Well you tell Caleb if he doesn't stop being mean to you the Boogie man is going to get him."

The little girl's eyes grew wide with fear and she began to cry. What the hell was wrong with me?

You don't tell a little girl that if a kid's mean the boogie man will come and get them. Nice going Sam. Cant wait to see how your kids turn out.

"What?" she pouted.

"No, no," I put my hands up, trying to calm her down. "I mean... um..."

Before I could say anything else, the receptionist called my name.

"Sam Evans."

I panicked and stood up, following the footprints on the carpet to the back of the office.

"Follow me," the woman said, leading the way to the small room with the dentist's chair and tools on the back wall. A cold shiver went down my spine as I took a seat on the gray chair.

"Dr. Jones will be in a few seconds to check on you." She looked down at her file and smiled. "So you're the Sam that's dating Mercedes?"

"Yeah," I said, smirking.

"And your girlfriend's father is your dentist?" she asked, cocking up an eyebrow.

"Yup," I said.

The woman looked at me for a few seconds before bursting into a fit of giggles. "Good luck."

With that, she left the room, shutting the door behind her. I took a gulp of air. That couldn't be good. When a doctor of any kind tells you 'good luck' it can only mean two things. One, this is your 3rd time at the clinic and they think 'this is it, he's finally caught something' or two, you have a chance of dying.

I wrung my hands nervously, feeling my stomach flip at each footstep I heard outside the door.

Just as I had calmed myself down enough to take in the surroundings of the Sweeney Todd-esque room, I heard the doorknob turn. I stared at it, as if my mind would make it lock. Even though I had talked myself into thinking this would just be another routine appointment, I knew in the back of my head, shit was about to happen.

"Good Morning Samuel," Dr. Jones said, entering the room.

"You can call me Sam Mr. Jones," I said, my voice shaky.

"And again, I like Samuel just fine," he said, smiling widely. His eyes disappeared into the folds of his face as he glared at me through brown eyes that reminded me of Mercy's. Well if there was a consolation prize, at least that was it.

"So you're here for a filling?" he asked.

"Yes sir," I said, nodding my head.

"Do you not brush your teeth son?" he asked, only blinking once.

"No... I mean yes... I mean... umm.. I brush my teeth it's just I have a metal filling and I'm getting it switched out for plastic."

"Mhm," he said, putting on his glasses and reading my file. "When was your last check up Samuel?"

"Umm May I think," I answered, trying to remember.

"Good, good," he moved down the list of questions, checking things off. "You aren't pregnant... obviously." I chuckled lightly, trying to relax my nerves. "Speaking of which, question... have you ever gotten anyone pregnant?"

He glared at me, seemingly not breathing. I stared at him, my mouth open. "No."

"Are you sure?" he asked, squinting.

"Positive."

"Why are you positive?" he questioned.

"Umm... uh... I always use protection."

"So you are sexually active?"

I felt the palms of my hand begin to sweat. "Is this a trick question?"

"No son. Just trying to do this questionnaire before we do the filling. Just want to make sure you're positive," he said.

"I am," I nodded.

"Good... let's hope that and your blood type are the only positive things about your medical history," he mumbled under his breath. I tried to speak but he cut me off. "Any STIs?"

"No," I shook my head.

"Are you sure? You never know who has what..."

"I'm dating Mercy sir..." I said.

"Even more of a reason to answer honestly," he glared at me.

"No sir, I have no STIs or anything. I'm always careful."

"You'd better be," he muttered. "Okay! Let's get into that mouth of yours."

Mr. Jones stood up, reached for a glove and slid it onto his hand slowly. I watched as he pumped his foot on the pedal, sending me down in the chair and parallel to the ground. He moved the light above my head and turned it on. "Open wide."

I did as he asked, opening my mouth as wide as I could. Mr. Jones grabbed something, and poked at my tooth with the filling. "Ya know," he started. "I always loved having you as a patient. Your mouth was the only persons that could fit my entire hand in it without me having to hold it open. Kudos to your genes."

I glanced at him, wishing this would just be over.

"So I talked to Mercy yesterday," he said. "When I told her you were coming in she said 'Daddy, don't kill him.' As if I would do that. Ha!"

I tried to laugh along with him, nervously but all that came out was a deep guttural sound.

"Actually if I wanted to hurt you, I'd just rip all of your teeth out one by one starting with the canines, which are here," he tapped his tool against my tooth, causing my to jump. "Then I'd yank out those molars." Mr. Jones poked at my molars, looking into my mouth. "And finally, I'd tear out those pesky little incisors."

As soon as he finished his statement, he yanked, at my filling, pulling it roughly from my tooth. I jumped out of the seat and clenched my eyes closed, thinking he had just tore out my tooth.

It occurred to me that I had felt nothing, and he had basically just taken off the cap.

"Stop moving," he ordered, barely making eye contact. He continued to work on my tooth, in silence. If anything, that was more terrifying because at any second, he could say something in his deep frightening voice and cause me to have a heart attack. In what felt like the blink of an eye, Mr. Jones' hand was out of my mouth and he was disposing of the glove.

"Your mouth should be numb for a few hours and as you know, don't eat until the cast is fully molded to your tooth, okay," he said, nodding towards me.

"O-hay," I said, my lax tongue not touching the roof of my mouth.

"See Janet outside so she can schedule your 6 month checkup."

I nodded my head and quickly got out of the chair, hoping to make an easy and fast exit.

"Oh and Samuel," he stopped me. "If you hurt my daughter. I will rip out your teeth one by one. Along with the blending your gonads up thing." I nodded my head slowly, feeling my stomach flip. "Don't forget to see Janet."

I rushed out of the room, saw Janet and got the hell out of the dentist's office as fast as I could. As soon as I got into my car, I pulled out my cell phone, and dialed Mercy's phone number.

"Pease pickup, pease pickup," I said to myself.

"Hey you've reached Mercy. You know what to do. Beep.."

"Mershy... I haf got to find a new gentist," I said, realizing how ridiculous I sounded. I hung up, and started the car, praying I made it home in one piece.


Mercy's POV

I felt my phone vibrate from one missed call and checked my voice mail.

"What's up?" Mel asked, biting down on a piece of carrot.

"Sam called," I said, listening to the voice mail "What in the..."

"What?"

"I think he just drunk called me."

"What did he say?" she asked.

"Something about a new gymnast," I laughed, pressing the end button on my phone.


A/N: This might be the most random thing I have ever written. I was bored and just kept thinking, how funny would that be if Mr. Jones was Sam's dentist. So I just went for it. This one-shot is kinda related to BFB and BFBG but not really. It's the same plot line but adds nothing to the stories.

This is Un-beta-d so any mistakes are mine.

Please review!