AvatarCat12: Hey, I'm back. I've decided to try and upload another chapter to Garfield In Wonderland. And man, it's been one busy day today! My aunt's dad died on Sunday, so we went to a service for his preparations to go into heaven. God bless that guy; he was the one who pronounced my parents "husband and wife".
...that didn't last long, but moving on! I think it's time for me to say the disclaimer and get this outta the way!
Disclaimer: Alice In Wonderland and Garfield do not belong to me. They both belong to Lewis Carroll and Jim Davis.
Uploading Date: November 24, 2012
The Annoying Doorknob And The Pool Of Drool
Finding a randomly floating table, Garfield inched his way over to it and landed on it, Odie already beside him. Garfield angrily thought this over; somehow, this rabbit had disappeared down this strange tunnel...but there was no one here. Just darkness and other stuff.
"Odie, if it weren't for you and your dumb tingle ball, we wouldn't be here!" Garfield huffed. "Hey, how about we play a new game? It's called the 'I kick your butt off this table' game!"
At that, he gave a mighty kick and caused Odie to yelp as he fell off. But for some odd reason, Odie was now floating in the air, making Garfield raise an eyebrow at this. How could the stupid dog be floating at a time like this? But he spotted something that made him sigh in relief.
"A bed!" Garfield cheered. "Sweet dreams, here I come!"
So Garfield jumped across from the table to the floating cat bed, sighing as he snuggled under the covers. However, to his surprise, the bed tilted a bit, making him fall out of it and land back on the table. This made him growl, "Great. I've heard of me rejecting sleep, but I've never had sleep reject me before! This is weird."
Just then, both fell down rapidly, screamed, and held on to each other before they slowed down. Garfield then shoved Odie away from him for touching him before they were turned upside down. There was a globe of the world before them, but they were upside down.
"Great. Now how can I find Italy like this?" Garfield huffed. "I plan on making a trip there for some time, but now I can't with this map being upside down!" Then to the fourth wall, he added, "So people, can you do me a favor and flip me back to my feet?"
His question was not really answered when he landed on his head hard, making him groan in pain. Odie, however, came floating down while holding an open umbrella in one paw. In response, Garfield gave a grumble before he saw a familiar white creature.
He jumped to his feet and cried, "It's that rabbit! Hey rabbit! You better slow down! I've eaten a lasagna already, and I can't keep up!"
So Odie got him onto his back, and the two of them ran after the rabbit. But they arrived at a hall of doors, though they found the white rabbit's fluffy tail disappearing behind a green door. When they got there, Garfield ran over to it, grabbed the knob, and pulled...but there was ANOTHER door behind this one.
"Dang!" Garfield snapped, pacing around and trying to think. Getting an idea, he exclaimed, "Hey Odie, how about we play a new game? It's called 'Battering Ram!'"
"Arf! Arf!" Odie barked, spinning around in a circle or two.
Garfield spoke to him as if he was a three-year-old. "Yes, it's a new game! The object of the game is to see how many doors you can bring down with your head." As Odie got in front of the door, he counted, "One...two...three...go!"
So Odie rammed hard into the door, then another, then another, then another. Garfield soon saw that the doors were getting smaller the more Odie rammed into them. At last, after the tenth one was done, there was a tiny hole in its place.
"There you go, Odie. You're the winner!" Garfield cheered in a false encouraging way. Then, grabbing Odie and shoving him into the tiny hole as hard as he could, he grunted, "How about I...give you a reward? In you go...first!"
Once Odie was through, however, he grabbed Garfield's tail and dragged him hard into the room too. The two of them fought for a bit before looking around them in awe. This was a large room with nothing in there except for a small door with a golden handle. They had no idea where the white rabbit had gotten to, but they looked at the door for a clue.
Garfield smirked. "Huh. I think I know where."
So he ran over to the door and grabbed the knob. However...what he witnessed next almost scared the fur off of him.
"Ohhhhh!" the doorknob suddenly yelped!
"Whoa!" Garfield jumped back while Odie let out a whine. "Sorry...wait a minute. Did I just hear a doorknob talk to me?"
The doorknob sniffed. "Of course I talked, cat. But you did give me quite a turn!" he added with a chuckle.
Garfield, however, yawned, "That's the lamest pun I've ever heard. I know; I've heard a hurricane of puns from Jon before."
"Rather good, what?" the doorknob went on, not listening. "Doorknob, turn?"
"Enough with the door puns, Brass Nose," Garfield snapped. "Look, Odie and I are searching for a white rab-"
But the doorknob went on, "Well, one good turn deserves another!" But noticing the glare on the tubby tabby's face, he asked, "What can I do for you?"
So Garfield said, "While you were making those lame puns, Odie and I were searching for a white rabbit. Can you tell us where he's at?"
The doorknob nodded and opened his mouth wide. Before Garfield could get in there, Odie came forth and peeked through the hole with one eye closed and the other open. The long-tongued canine looked back at Garfield and game him a thumbs-up sign, pointing to the door.
"Good boy! See, I told you you're part pointer!" Garfield praised him. "Or was that doxen? So doorknob..." He reached his paw to the door. "...how about you open up and-"
"Sorry, you and the dog are much too big," the doorknob replied. "Simply impassible...and fat."
That insult made Garfield snarl, "Did you just call me fat?!" He pointed a finger at him and spat, "How would you like that brass nose of yours melted into a wedding ring, huh?"
The doorknob, hearing this, squeaked, "Actually...just impassible. Why don't you try the bottle on the table?"
Garfield looked around, not seeing a table anywhere. Suddenly, one appeared out of nowhere, making Odie jump up and start drooling on the bottle on the table. Then Garfield jumped onto the table, as hard as he could, and kicked him off the table.
"Good ol' table," Garfield said before reading the bottle, which had the label saying "Drink me" around it.
"Read the directions, and directly, you'll be directed in the right direction," the doorknob chuckled.
Garfield retorted, "Shut up with the jokes, will you?" He read it a bit more and said, "I hope it's not that kind of poison Hermione talked about in the first Harry Potter book. That'd make me want to use the litterbox a LOT more often."
The doorknob raised an eyebrow. "I beg your pardon?"
"Cat business," Garfield said before taking a sip. "Huh. Tastes like chicken." He took a few more sips, tasting hamburger, hot dog, nachos, chocolate cake...until the bottle dropped on top of him!
Garfield pushed it up before staring...up at Odie, whose long tongue was looking like a giant red snake right now. He looked up and said, "Hey, Odie! I'm glad you're taller now! It gives me more of you to dislike!"
But Odie guzzled down another bottle, making him shrink to the same size and smirk.
"Showoff," Garfield muttered to the fourth wall. To the doorknob, he said, "So there. We've shrunk. Now how about-"
"Oh, no use! Ha ha ha ha!" the doorknob suddenly started to laugh. "I forgot to tell you, ho ho ho ho! I'm locked!"
Garfield let out a groan, doing a face-palm. He was glad he went onto the TV Tropes website to learn about the tropes, especially the Dogs Are Dumb trope.
The doorknob went on, "But you've got the key, so..."
"Wait a minute, Wood Boy," Garfield snapped. "What key?"
"Now, don't tell me you've left it up there!" the doorknob scolded. And lo and behold, the key appeared on the table.
Garfield groaned again, approaching the table. "And you didn't make it appear before HOW?" Whistling to Odie, who came over, he held out his hand and said, "Odie. Tongue. Key. Now."
So Odie stuck his tongue out, making it stretch out until it was about as long as a small python. Twirling it around like a lasso, Garfield tossed it up towards the key, but it missed and landed on the cat's face with a SPLUT. Giving up, Garfield sat down with Odie, who was rolling his tongue back into his mouth.
"Well, this is the worst Monday ever. My plan didn't work!" Garfield sighed. "So Odie...what do we do now?"
"Try the box," the doorknob said. And at that, a box appeared.
Opening the little box, Garfield saw that there were chocolate chip cookies in there, letting out an "Oooooh! I love chocolate chip!" And at that, he gulped a few down while Odie did the same.
But just then...they began to grow until their heads touched the ceiling. What was worse (for Garfield) was that Odie was so crammed up next to him that his tongue was licking his nose. This made him want to kick the dog around the room...but for two reasons, he couldn't. First, they were too cramped. And the second, one of his feet was covering the doorknob, who tried to say something to them.
"Huh?" Garfield asked, removing his foot the best he could.
"I said, 'a little of that went a long way'! Ha ha ha ha!" the doorknob laughed.
Garfield growled, "That's it, bub. Once we get outta here, I'll take you off the wall and melt your nose to a Goblet of Fire!" But then he sat down (the best he could) and groaned, "Odie, why did we have to follow that white rabbit down here? If we didn't, we'd be back at home with Jon. He'd play ball with you, rub my belly, feed us, give you steak...huh?"
Odie, after hearing all those things, began to drool. Garfield pushed him away the best he could in disgust, for he couldn't believe the dumb fido was doing something like this.
"Odie, stop drooling! That's disgusting!" he snapped. But as Odie continued to do so, he heard the doorknob say, "Oh, come on now. Crying won't help."
Garfield snapped, "We're not crying, you dolt! Odie's given me a hard time...and a great plan!" For Odie's drool was rising up until it reached the soles of their feet. And if only he could do that some more, they could get into the next room. There was only one thing to do.
"Hey Odie! You wanna go to the park?" he asked. This made Odie yip harder and drool a lot more than usual. So he went on, "You wanna...play with your dingle ball? The dingle ball I hate so much?"
Odie yipped and drooled more, making the doorknob gurgle from the drool, "Say, this won't do at all! You, you up there, stop! Stop, I say!"
But Garfield said, "You wanna go dig some holes, boy? Holes?" Odie yipped and drooled even more, making him say, "Good! You wanna go to the vet?"
"YIP!" Odie yelped, shaking his head and stopped drooling.
"Whoa, sorry! No vet...yet," Garfield promised. "And for the great finale...you want a bone piled with lasagna on top of a juicy piece of porterhouse steak?"
Hearing this, Odie let loose the most epic drooling Garfield had ever seen. At that, the doorknob was almost submerged in dog drool as he gargled, "Oh look! The bottle, the bottle..."
At that, Garfield saw the bottle floating near the doorknob's mouth and picked it up with two fingers. He poured some into Odie's mouth while Garfield did the same, making them shrink again...to ant size. Once they fell into the empty bottle, they were sucked into the doorknob's hole, swallowing them into aqua darkness.
Finally, Garfield patted Odie on the head. "Odie, come here, you drippy drooling genius! From now on, you may lick me only on Christmas!"
"Arf!" Odie yelped happily.
To be continued...
AvatarCat12: One reviewer of this story told me that he/she thought it'd be called "The Pool Of Drool". They're half right; it's part of the title. And you can tell that I added a part from a Family Guy episode called "Road To The Multiverse", and that's the best Family Guy episode EVER. And speaking of that, today was a good day for pie.
That joke aside, let's go on with the review part, so read and review, folks! Those who do will get a virtual doorknob punching bag...for those who don't really like him (he was helpful in Kingdom Hearts, though). Flames aren't allowed on here, but any advice or constructive criticism is welcome.
See ya next time!