Notes: I don't know I just wrote and it's not that great and rushed and OOC but whatever.
have a fic
He felt like someone had just torn his heart from his chest and stomped on it. He'd known from the beginning there was no hope with Lydia, but that hadn't stopped him from falling in love with.
Then she'd gone and saved Jackson's life with the power of her love, and now whatever hope he had was crushed.
Whatever chance he had with her was gone.
He scrubbed at his cheeks, wiping the tears away before anyone could see them and put on a brave face. He patted Jackson on the shoulder while everyone else wrapped him and Lydia in hugs. Then he came up with some stupid excuse that was obviously fake and got back in his jeep and drove home.
His dad had taken one look at the jeep and opened his mouth to start yelling, but he must've seen something in Stiles's eyes because he snapped his mouth shut and pulled his son into a tight hug instead.
He let his dad hold him for a moment before shrugging out of the embrace and mumbling something as he headed to his room. He just needed to sleep for awhile, clear his head, but he couldn't sleep. Whenever he closed his eyes he saw Lydia and Jackson embracing in the warehouse and his heart broke all over again.
He curled around his pillow and quiet sobs tore through his body.
It was the first time since his mom's death he'd felt so hopeless.
Life went on and Stiles was good at pretending. At school he was his usual sarcastic self. No one knew anything was wrong, although Allison gave him one too many sympathetic looks and Scott was a bit more touchy feely than usual, it was all normal.
Isaac had started eating lunch with them and when Scott wasn't busy staring over at Allison's table he was deep in conversation with the other werewolf. Before it would've hurt Stiles to be ignored like that, but now he couldn't quite care. What did it matter if his best friend moved on, everyone did.
At home was a different story. Luckily his dad was busier than ever after Jackson's killing spree took out over half the police force, so he wasn't home much.
At home Stiles sat in his room and did nothing. Sometimes he would do homework, but most of the time he just stared at the ceiling.
He felt pathetic. The fact that one girl made him so numb. He'd known the day was going to come, and yet it still hurt.
It was unbearable.
It was after school and he was in his room as usual. Today he was tossing a lacrosse ball at the ceiling as he thought. He tried not to think about Lydia, focused on lacrosse and Scott's problems, but even they weren't distracting enough and soon his mind was drifting back to that strawberry blonde hair and shining eyes.
When the doorbell rang he was mid throw, distracted he looked away and the ball landed on his stomach, hard enough to make him wince.
"Ow," he muttered as he got to his feet and shuffled to the door. It was probably one of the neighbors coming to complain about something. No one ever visited him.
But it wasn't a neighbor.
He was surprised when he opened the door and saw Lydia standing at his doorstep. She looked perfect -as always- and the sight of her made his heart twist.
"What?" His voice was sharper than he had meant it to be, but she wasn't exactly on his list of people he wanted to see.
"Can I come in?"
Didn't she care that seeing her reminded him of that night?
He clenched his jaw but stepped back, turning to walk back to his room. She was Lydia after all. She did what she wanted and no one stopped her. He certainly couldn't.
He didn't sit when he got to his room, just turned to face her. She stood at the doorway and he remembered the last time she'd been in here, just before they'd run off to go save Jackson.
He ground his teeth and took a deep breath through his nose, willing himself to calm down. "What do you want?"
"I need to talk."
"What could we possibly have to talk about? We haven't talked since-" He snapped his mouth shut, not finishing the sentence. Since you chose Jackson over me.
"I know," she said. "I'm sorry."
He snorted, he couldn't help it. She was sorry. Well too little too late.
She glared at him and folded her arms across her chest. "Yes I'm sorry. I'm sorry that my life has been so hectic lately that I couldn't come talk to you, to clear things up."
"There's nothing to clear up. You love Jackson and Jackson loves you. You get your happily ever after, congrats." He sounded bitter and he knew it.
"Happily ever after only exists in fairy tales."
"Apparently not yours," he snapped, turning away.
"This isn't mine. It's missing a key character," she said, but he didn't respond. He wasn't sure what she was saying, wasn't sure he wanted to know. He could feel the hope warming his heart and he clamped down on it.
No good came from hoping.
She was quiet for a moment, the silence filling the air until he was sure it would suffocate him.
"I thought you loved me." Her voice shook slightly and Stiles dug his nails into his arm to keep from going to her and comforting her.
"I did," Stiles said, whirling to face her. "I do love you, but I don't want to." Hurt flashed through her eyes and he flinched. "No. You don't get to make me feel guilty. I've loved you for years, and I was nothing to you, still am."
"No. That's not-"
"It hurts." He talked over her, pretending not to hear her. "It hurts so damn much, but I can't stop. I know it's a pointless love, I know that you love Jackson and there's no one else." He swallowed thickly, his voice cracking. "So why do you care? Why do you expect me to keep loving you when it's nothing but pain?"
Her eyes were shining with tears and he clenched his hands into fists to keep from going to her.
"It's not like that," she said, her voice shaking. Stiles had never seen her like this before. She was also so collected, so in control. "I don't want you to hurt, but I can't just- I love Jackson." It was absolute, the way she said it. Pain lashed through Stiles's heart again and he wondered if she came just to make sure he was good and dead.
"I love Jackson," she repeated. Her eyes still shone with tears, but there was something else there. Determination. "But I love you too."
His breath caught in his throat and he stared at her. He couldn't have heard her right, and if he had then it had to be some cruel joke. There was probably cameras everywhere and they were going to sell this to some producer and make millions.
"What?" he gasped, because he couldn't breathe, couldn't think.
She wet her lips and stared at him. "I love you, Stiles. You've been there for me through everything. When Jackson broke up with me you were there. You took me to the winter formal and you risked your life for me. Even though you love me you still brought me to Jackson." She took a deep breath and stepped to him, placing her hand on his chest –over his heart. "I'm sorry I didn't realize this before, everything was just so cluttered. I didn't realize that you're just as important to me as Jackson is. You're my rock, Stiles. Without you I don't think I would've been able to survive the past year."
Stiles didn't speak -wasn't sure he had any words- and when she pressed her body against his and their lips brushed, he didn't move back.
The kiss was slow, savoring. The heat of it wrapped around his heart and mended the hurts. She tasted exactly how he'd imagined, like strawberries and cream and perfection. His hands slid up her back, one tangling in her hair the other wrapping around her waist and pulling her flush against him.
It wasn't his first kiss, but he would remember it for the rest of his life. He swore he saw fireworks and heard bells.
When she pulled back he was panting and she smiled up at him. His heart was soaring, but there was something holding him back.
"Jackson," he said suddenly. "What about Jackson?"
Her smile dimmed, but didn't fall. "Jackson is important to me too. I tried to choose. I tried to ignore my feelings for you."
"Ouch." She chuckled and pressed her hand to his cheek.
"I tried but they were just too strong." He leaned into her hand and just let himself feel her. "So I tried to leave Jackson." She snorted and he saw laughter sparkle in her eyes. "That lasted all of two days before we couldn't take it anymore. So I was conflicted. I love Jackson, but he's just not enough. There's a part of me that loves you and it will always love you."
"So you decided since you couldn't choose one you would just have both of us?"
She rolled her eyes but she was still smiling. "Why should I have to choose? Why should I have to cause pain to not only myself but the ones I love? I love you Stiles, just as much as I love Jackson, and I want to be with both of you." Uncertainty flickered through her eyes and she shifted back the smallest bit. "Although if you don't want that then I understand."
He grabbed her hand before she could move all the way back. "I've loved you since I was 8 years old," he said, squeezing her hand. "I just want you to be happy, and if you want me back then there's no way I'm going to turn down the offer." He smiled widely. "Besides, Jackson could really use a couple of lessons in sharing."
She smiled back and pressed a kiss to his cheek.
"Come on." She pulled him out of his room and down the stairs. They'd left the front door open and he winced, if his dad found out he was going to get in so much trouble, but then he saw Jackson and all thoughts of his dad flew out of his mind.
Jackson was waiting at his Porsche in the driveway. Stiles watched him for a moment and saw past the douchebag exterior. He was pacing, wringing his hands in worry. His muscles were tense under his clothes and when he heard the door he looked up, concern flashing in his eyes.
Stiles knew what he saw; red-rimmed eyes and puffy lips, his girlfriend holding someone else's hand. Yet he didn't get angry.
When he saw them, his body relaxed and he smiled, and Stiles realized that Jackson was just as invested in this as he was.
They both loved Lydia with all their heart. They both wanted her to be happy, and if that meant sharing her then they would.
Their eyes met and Jackson declined his head in a small nod, acknowledging Stiles. Then Stiles was being yanked as Lydia dashed across the yard to Jackson, pulling him against her. Stiles chuckled and hugged her from behind, their hands still intertwined. His free hand brushed Jackson's and they stared at each other over Lydia's head, when Stiles didn't look away Jackson smiled and slid his fingers through Stiles's. Stiles chuckled again and pressed his cheek to Lydia's hair.
If someone had told him a month ago that Lydia would show up at his house and confess her love to him, he would've laughed at them. If they told him that he'd end up in some sort of relationship with her and Jackson, he would've had them tested.
Yet there he was, standing in his driveway with his arms around a beautiful girl and his former enemy. Then it started to drizzle and they pulled away from each other, laughing. He offered them cocoa and a warm house and they all made their way inside. Lydia walked in front of them, a sway to her hips, and Stiles smiled. When Jackson's arm brushed his he didn't move away, instead he grabbed Jackson's hand and grinned.
This was his life now and he had a feeling it was going to be pretty dang good.