Of Wrecks and Regrets
Warning: Yaoi, slash, guy x guy ahead! Ralph x Felix alert! You know the drill; don't like, don't read.
When he looks back on it, he realizes what a jerk he used to be to Ralph.
He alienated him.
He avoided him.
He never tried to reach out, never tried to learn more about the 'big meanie in the tree stump'.
He allowed the distance between them to grow.
He followed the path the others took, but he never helped Ralph find his way.
He treated the man who was supposed to be his best friend—who he was supposed to care for the most—like a primitive loser.
((Though, compared to the Nicelanders, he was still fairly nice to the big guy.))
But that isn't the point.
Felix treated Ralph like this—like a monster—for over thirty years. Ever since they got plugged in the arcade a lifetime ago.
((No wonder Ralph left...))
That was before.
Now...now he's changed. They've both changed. Their relationship has changed. In more ways than one.
((They're in love.))
That evening, Felix drags his boyfriend to a party being held in the penthouse of Niceland. For some odd reason, Ralph is reluctant to go. This in it of itself is strange since the large man has the tendency to enjoy parties quite a bit. The unusual behavior confuses Felix, but he figures that his boyfriend is just tired or perhaps just not in the mood. Regardless, he manages to coax Ralph to come with him to the celebration.
It is both the worst and best decision he's made in his life.
They treat Ralph terribly. Rude and condescending and harsh and cold.
Truthfully, they treat him like they would've in the time prior to his unexpected hero's journey. Only then, Felix would've done something along those lines, too.
Now, he doesn't.
Because now, he notices things he would have looked over a few months ago, before Ralph went Turbo.
He notices the rude greetings the 'wrecker' receives, the snorts and snickers thrown at his direction.
He notices the cold shouldering, the eye-rolling, the ruthless whispers they don't bother to hide.
And he remembers. He remembers how he used to be part of this, part of the reason Ralph left.
He remembers the way he shunned Ralph, how he was so very reluctant to even offer him a piece of cake.
When he looks back, it seems stupid.
When he looks back, he wonders why.
Perhaps he wanted to please the Nicelanders. Perhaps he valued their approval more than Ralph's feelings.
Perhaps he really wasn't a good guy, considering he did such a terrible thing to an extremely caring man.
Out of the blue, an image forms in his mind. He sees Ralph, obviously hurt, with purple cake splatters all over his hands. He sees a guy who's just been bullied—to an extreme—vowing to redeem himself and prove his worth, even if he's already proven so much.
Felix sees that he doesn't do anything to help him, but just watches and comforts a distressed Mary instead, despite the fact that Ralph is the real victim.
It is this painful reminder of his worthlessness as a friend that drives him over the edge.
His body shakes with anger. His face turns red with rage—and no, not the honey glow.
Gene grabs his sleeve and encourages him to lead the dance. He shakes him off none-too gently.
And Felix does go over to the dance floor, but he grabs Ralph's hand first.
"Slow dance!" he calls, nodding simply to the DJ. Around him, people cheer, and many hurry to find a partner. Several women flirtatiously ask the handyman to dance, but he politely declines. "I'm with Ralph," he tells them brightly, inwardly laughing at the way their eyes disbelievingly stare at his bewildered (and sulky) companion. As the music starts, Felix happily takes Ralph's hands—er, index fingers—and grins lovingly at him. They sway slowly to the beat, eyes never once leaving each other's face, and Felix sees Ralph finally relax, sees him actually begin to enjoy himself. Around them, the other dancers come to a halt. They stare at the unusual couple, wondering if perhaps Ralph has threatened Felix to partake in such an act. It's confusing to some, and annoying to others (read: all the females).
Eventually, the murmuring and loud whispering and blunt pointing begin. Ralph is the first to notice, for he stiffens immediately and self-consciously withdraws his fingers from his lover's hold. Felix cocks his head at the rather distant action. He opens his mouth to speak, but he hears Gene's words first.
It pierces through the night like a dagger. "Why is Felix even bothering with the likes of him?"
For a moment, there is absolute silence. Felix states blankly at the ground in shock. His eyes are wide, his mouth is parted slightly open. When he finally chances a glance up at Ralph's face, he is startled to see that he actually looks as if he is about to cry. Whether from frustration or sadness, he cannot tell.
Ralph should never have to cry.
Felix moves quickly, just like he would during the game. But instead of hopping from window to window, he only hops high enough to throw his arms around Ralph's neck. But he does fix.
He fixes his boyfriend's frown. He turns that into a smile.
Instead of a hammer, he uses his lips.
And at this point, he's stopped caring about everybody else.
They kiss slowly and sensually, and Felix tries to pour all his emotions and apologies into it. His lips mold perfectly with Ralph's, they move against each other in amazing sync. Ralph keeps him close and pulls him into his arms. Felix mewls softly and opens his mouth, welcoming his boyfriend's tongue.
They're definitely the center of attention. Why else is everything so quiet and still?
After a solid minute or two, Felix breaks the silence. He ends the kiss—accompanied with a little bit of whining from Ralph—and breathlessly looks around. Sure enough, all eyes are on him and his boyfriend. He sees disapproval and anger in most.
He doesn't care.
"Ralph and I are done with this party," he evenly tells them, returning in his voice and glare the same amount of venom and iciness they earlier directed at Ralph. "If you're not going to invite him to a party, don't bother inviting me either."
He climbs down from his lover's arms, and takes his hand once more. They maneuver their way around the dumbfounded Nicelanders and random guests. As they leave, Felix glances over his shoulder and calmly but coolly states, "Please treat Ralph like you'd treat me. Or treat me like you'd treat him. We. Are. The same. Don't forget."
And then they exit.
"F-Felix..." stammers Ralph as he's pushed into the couch, his face red and warm. He gasps as the fix-it man dives in for another needy kiss. This time, he is in charge.
When they pull back, their mouths still connected with a string of saliva, puffs of warm air escaping from their lips, the blonde stares at him oddly. Then, he throws himself into his huge arms, half-sobbing, half-whimpering. "I-I'm s-s-so s-sorry!"
"...sorry? For what?"
"R-Ralphy! I'm a b-bad guy!"
"What? No, baby, you aren't. Heck, you're the nicest guy I know!"
"N-n-no!" sobs Felix, shaking his head desperately and guiltily. "I was m-mean t-to you!"
"When? Felix, baby, what are you talking about?"
"I u-used to act like t-them, Ralph! I treated you awful. I was a real jerk... I don't d-deserve you..."
"I c-can't even blame you if you h-hate me..."
"You don't h-have to stay with m-me if you don't want to. I'll...I'll understand..."
"Why w-would you even want to b-be with me after all I d-did to you...? Maybe I—"
"Felix," Ralph patiently sighs, resting his forehead against his tearful but adorable lover's, "I'm not mad at you. How could I be? You stood up for me tonight, didn't you?"
"But nothing. That happened a long time ago. And you've never treated me badly since."
"The point is that I did!" insists Felix defiantly, rubbing his eyes in a child-like manner. "And I shouldn't have! Who cares how long ago it was? It was still a horrible thing to do! What right did I—mmph!"
Kissing is a nice way to shut him up, Ralph proudly thinks to himself as he preoccupies the handyman's mouth with his own. He kisses him softly and soothingly, in an attempt to reassure him that yes, everything is fine, and no, he is not mad—he can never be mad—at him. Felix seems to get the message, for he weakly nods and snuggles closer, gasping into Ralph's lips. He slips his right hand into his counterpart's, and loves the way his personal hero envelops him completely.
"Felix, I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you," murmurs Ralph urgently into the smaller man's ear, voice warm and endearing. "Past is past. I'm just glad you love me now."
"I'll always love you," shyly mumbles Felix in reply, nuzzling their noses together affectionately. "I really am sorry about how I acted before, Ralphy."
"I know. And you're forgiven."
"Yes. You make me so happy, Lixie..."
"You, too, big guy." Grinning toothily, Felix takes Ralph's hand for the millionth time that night and tugs him towards the stairs. "How 'bout we have our own party? Just the two of us?"
Laughing heartily, the brunette follows with an equally-lovestruck smile on his face. "You know me so well."
Later that night, as they comfortably lie in bed, spent but satisfied, and ready for well-deserved rest, Felix gazes into the face of the half-slumbering Ralph and wonders to himself how exactly he failed to realize his love for this man until only recently.
But then Ralph mumbles his name in his sleep. His large hand curls protectively around the handyman's tiny body.
Felix hopes they are kissing in Ralph's dream.
Because that's what he gives to his lover before joining him in the welcoming land of unconsciousness.
"...I love you...Ralphy..."
Outside, the fireworks fail to go off.
Gene angrily swears into the night.
A/N: I just remembered the party scene, and I thought about how Felix musta felt about that.
This sounds bad...but a crying Felix, to me, sounds like the cutest thing ever. Just saying.
Disclaimer: Not owning Wreck-It Ralph. *sniffle*