Hey! I Could Be A Messenger From Hyne, Ya Know!- A Misadventurous Romance Story

Chapter One-Butt Out, Tilmitt!

AN~Heh heh. I'm sorry, I know I have problems. It's just, the idea for this ficcy is so hilarious, it makes me laughing just thinking about it. This is a story about one couple out on the Net that I have NEVER seen a ficcy written about(if someone knows of one, send me the link, 'kay?)--- Seifer and Selphie! YES! *does cheer* I'm so proud of myself for my originality. Anyway, pleez R/R and let me know what you think! I've never done a couple outside of the usual breaks before! ~tigerofthewind~

As always, I didn't see the hand that threw the gum in my hair. I never did, really. I bet it was Natanya---she likes to do that to people. Well, I could forgive her. Hey! Peace! Love! Happiness!

Whistling cheerfully to myself, I walked down the hall to my class. Yup. MY class. And for once, I wasn't the student sitting in the back always volunteering the answers. This time, I was the teacher up in the front ORDERING for someone to volunteer the answers.

"Good morning, Instructor Tilmitt!"one of my students called, heading down to the Quad to have lunch with her friends. I sighed wistfully, thinking of the Garden Festival that my class was in the process of planning.

Pssst! I'll tell you a secret, 'kay? When I was really young, Trabia had put on a Garden Festival of their own, but it had gotten canceled early because it rained. The rain destroyed the band's instruments, and wrecked the stage, and Trabia hadn't put on a single one since then. I had really missed it---Garden Festival's are such FUN!

"Hiya, Corraline!"I said cheerfully, waving back."Don't forget your paper on the Second Sorceress War that's due after break!"

It was spring break in Balamb Garden, and things couldn't have been going better for me. Well.......

I generally try not to think too badly of people. So I couldn't shout aloud all the names that I had suddenly felt like calling my ex-boyfriend Irvine at the moment.

That's right, EX. You remember, don't you? We were going together so happily at the end of the Third Sorceress War(y'know, how we kicked some Ultimecia bum?!), and then he suddenly had the nerve to tell me that he wanted the freedom to see other people!

I s'pose it works. Even when we WERE dating, I'd still find him checking out the other girls. And I guess I did nag him a lot. But who cares, right?! Guys are such pooheads, anyway!

I struggled to free the tangle of gum from my hair. You get some like that, as an Instructor---the kids who love you, and the kids who hate you. Natanya was one of those. You should hear some of the names she calls me behind my back! It's so MEAN! She doesn't even know my mother!

Well, I don't even know my mother, either. She died in the Second Sorceress War(this time, it was Adel, and I was too little to kick her bum. But Sir Laguna sure did a good job!). But it was okay. Matron was enough to make up for TWO mothers!

I was really glad that Matron was back at Garden. I was so worried when we had to fight her. But in the end, everything turned out A-Okay! Just like I knew it would, of course.

Now, where was I going? Oh, right, to the cafeteria for my lunch break. Maybe the lunch lady could help me get this stupid gum out of my hair. Well, no. Ick! I didn't want her touching the nasty Natanya-gum, then touching our food! Blech! I figured that I'd get Quisty to help me. She's patient with those sort of things.

"Selphie!"I spun around, and there was Rinoa running up a flight of stairs to catch up to me. I was really glad that Rinoa was okay, too. Of course, maybe I was just glad that she didn't want to turn us all into guinea pigs more than anything.

"Hey! Oh, wowza! Let me help you with some of that stuff!"Rinoa had an armful of stuff as big as Zell's appetite, if anything could be said to be so enormous. I took some of the cardboard and the streamers from her."What's all this?"

"Duh! The Garden decorations!"she said, grinning broadly from ear to ear."This year's Festival is going to be great!"

"Yeah, but last year's was booyaka-in' awesome, too!"I reminded her, giving her a pointed look. She giggled, then got a dreamy look.

"Last year's was SO romantic........"Sometimes Rin's like that. Her eyes get all clouded over, like someone cast a Blind spell on her. Once, I went up behind her and cast Esuna because I thought she'd gotten Blinded in the training center, but it was just that 'romantic' look.

Heys! I'm romantic, too! But I think there's more to a relationship than all that mushy stuff! I think that if you can really go out and have some FUN! with someone, then it doesn't matter how sensitive or sweet or caring they are.

I guess Rin must've thought so, too, because Squall was none of those things. In an instant, the Blind look faded away."Oh! I almost forgot! I've got some things to tell you. Zell booked that band from Balamb that he knows, the guy and the chick. Squall's working out a date with Headmaster Cid and Headmistress Edea, and Irvine is currently in the cafeteria arguing with the lunch lady over what to serve. She's trying to explain to him that kahlua isn't an appetizer."

Really? I think I missed the humor in that, because Rinoa was laughing and I didn't see what was so funny. It was just an honest mistake, wasn't it? Wait. With Irvy, there WAS no 'honest mistakes'. Well, okay. Things for the Garden Festival were going in full swing! Yippee!

"Ummm........oh, Quistis is working on designing posters to put all around Garden, and I'm taking these upstairs to finish decorating the stage."Rin's face fell."I was really hoping to do more, but I've got my field exam coming up, and I don't have time for much else."

It was okay, I knew how brutal those things could be. And I had to take mine with ZELL, the world's biggest pig! "Don't sweat it, Rinnie. You guys have all done a lot. Since it's break, I don't have any classes to plan, so I can help out more, too!"

"Oh!"Rinoa snapped her fingers."Hey Selph, there's a problem with the central lighting on the stage. One of the wires short-circuited, I think, and now all the lights are down. I would say change the time so that the show is during the day, but don't you think that the lights make it more dramatic?"

I nodded."Superly-majorly-definitely."

"Then, I have an idea. Could you take the Ragnarok and hop over to FH for the day? See if you can get one of the technicians to help us. If they won't do it, just threaten another missile crisis or something, like we did the last time."

It was so easy to pull those FH guys' strings."Okie! I'll be back as soon as I can!"Yes! Another chance to fly the Ragnarok! I LOVED flying that ship! Flying, flying, FLYING! Whee!

"Thanks, Selph."Rinoa waved and walked away. I waved too, and bounded off towards the newly built Ragnarok deck. Rinoa's friend Watts was standing there, guarding the ship. He was a member of the newly re-created disciplinary committee, since Seifer and Co. suddenly vanished.

"Good day, miss,"he said, as polite and dorky as ever. You had to love it, though."Shall you be taking off, today?"

"Unh-hunh."I smiled."Good day to you to, Watts!"I stretched each word out slowly and deliberately, trying to get my point across.

"Yes, nice weather, isn't it?"Honestly, Watts can be so dense, sometimes. Well, at least he doesn't have a thing for dirty magazines, like Zone."All right, Miss Selphie! Ragnarok is ready for takeoff!"

I hopped aboard and settled into the pilot's seat, deciding to have super- mega-awesome fun with the new turbo boosters the FH guys had installed. The Garden Festival was in full swing, Ultimecia was gone, everything was PERFECT!

Whoo-hoo! Blast off!

**************************************************************************** *************

Okay, well that was done. The FH technicians didn't even NEED to be blackmailed or threatened. They just wanted tickets to the Garden Festival. Which was okay enough. We weren't selling a whole lot, anyway.

Frowning, I decided to go for a walk, and think about what I could do to make the Garden Festival sound more interesting. Maybe games or something? Like a fair or a carnival?

But all I could think about was how badly Fisherman's Horizon smelled. This weird odor of melting metal, sylkis liqueur, and.........well, fish.

When I neared around the train station, I was in for the shock of a life. Well, not the shock of a LIFE, but of this moment, definitely. The shock of my life was when I discovered that you couldn't put a tuna sandwich in the blender, without it's inevitable result. I liked the blender, it SMASHED things. Matron had to get rid of hers before the house was ever clean again.

But anyway, I'm digressing. The point is, I heard a voice.

"...........Hyne, Timitt, someone spit in your hair?"Super-duper-mega- BUMMER! Was that none other than the snotty, condescending voice of SEIFER that I heard behind me?

I tried, really I did. But I just couldn't think of a single good thing that he'd done in his life. I know that my philosophy was 'Peace! Love! And Happiness!', but for some unknown reason, he irked me beyond all imaginings.

"For your info, it's GUM!"I retorted, and realized that wasn't exactly the most marvelous thing to say. Dumb and Dumber(otherwise known as Fujin and Raijin) snickered at me from behind their 'leader''s back. I decided to try a different tactic. The LEAVE ME ALONE tactic."Look, I'VE got stuff to do. Unlike some pathetic low-lifes who spent their lives groveling under the skirts of a sorceress who had the worst fashion sense I'd ever seen in ALL time eras, I HAVE a job. And it doesn't require standing here wasting time with you."

Woooooah! Did I just SAY that? There went my philosophy out the window. Plus, I knew it was a low blow. For the first time since I laid eyes on him, Seifer Almasy was virtually speechless. If the situation weren't so irritating and precarious both at the same time, I would have wanted to take a picture.

Deciding just to leave it at that, I turned to walk away. Suddenly, my head was jerked backward in the most painful sort of ways as someone yanked on my hair."Ow! Quit it, ya jerk!"I whirled around, snapping the Strange Vision taut between my hands.

Ah. The traditional Seifer-smirk was back. I wanted to slap it off his face, break it in half, and mop the floor with it.

Did I mention that I get a little violent sometimes?

"TILMITT, EXPLAIN."Fujin went on with her no-nonsense voice. I shrugged.

"I'm planning the Garden Festival. Don't worry, you're not on my 'Most Wanted' list."My good mood was returned like that. People say I do that--- just change moods back and forth."Yet."

"Hey, who is, ya know?"Albeit his stupidity, Raijin wasn't so bad. Fujin kicked him for---oh no!---consorting with the ENEMY!"Ow!"

"Here's your gum, messenger girl."Funny how Seifer could say things in the quietest of voices, and yet everyone still hears him. Still, actions say more than words, and HIS next action sure said a helluva lot!

With perfect accuracy, he threw the wadded up piece of spearmint gum right down the front of my sundress!

As I spluttered with rage and tried to retrieve it, while still holding onto my dignity, he casually sauntered away. The Gruesome Twosome hurried after him. They were like the Three Stooges---you never saw one without the others.

But, oh---one of these days, I was going to get him back! That was SO uncool---not to mention embarassing! While I was digging down the front of my dress, the Mayor's wife Flo had walked by and gave me a scandalized look!

"Grrrr,"I growled."Just wait, you poohead! I'll get you back for this, Seifer Almasy!"

AN~So? What'd everyone think? Sorry, the first part isn't really funny. It's too early in the morning for me to bust out humor. Yeah....*shakes head sadly* Pathetic, isn't it? Plus, I didn't want to make it too long. Okay, so there is no excuse for this. It was kinda like a fever-dream. Or a druggie dream. Actually, it was more like a 'was-up-until-3-am-in-the- morning-and-decided-to-write-something-cute-and-funny-that-ended-up-to-be- neither-of-those-things' type thing.*sigh* Well, let me know what you think, anyway. Truthfully, please!*is nice*BTW, this was more like an intro part. I was trying to get you acquainted with everything---Selphie and Irvine broke up, Rinoa's trying to join SeeD, and Selphie's planning another Garden Festival. That's about it. ~tigerofthewind~