No wasting time...on with the story :D Mwhahaha...


The sound of a bottle hitting the deck resonated through the still air. Someone hiccuped.

"N-next..*hic*...b-bwottle, Nami...*hic*...swann..."

Zoro smirked at the cook beside him, and raised his eyebrows.

"I don't think so, shitty-cook. I've never seen a guy so pissed off before in my life...just accept defeat. I win, and that's that.

"Don't *hic*...b-be such an ass*hic*hole, marimo~. Think you win, do ya'?"

"Yep." Zoro answered readily, only a slight blush on his cheeks from the alcohol. "At everything."

While the swordsman was barely showing any signs of drunkenness, Sanji was, as Zoro had said, utterly pissed. His jacket had been discarded, and lay crumpled on the floor behind him; the collar of his silk blue shirt was wide open, the buttons only done up halfway up his chest; his black tie hung loosely around his throat, and his clothes were stained with sake. He sat so close to the swordsman that he may as well have been sitting in his lap - he was leaning entirely on Zoro's chest to stay upright, his head lolling about on the marimo's shoulder every now and then.

As for his was flushed to the point of being redder than Buggy's nose - his hair was messy and disheveled (thanks to how many times he's run his hands through it from his high, and lolling it around Zoro's chest), and his blue eye, though slightly misty, was, Zoro thought, incredibly sexy.

Both men outstretched their hands to Nami expectantly, all the while maintaining their half-smoldering half-challenging eye contact, waiting for the next bottle.

There was a pause. Nobody moved. When the two men looked up, Nami was glaring at them.

"That's it." she said.

Zoro and Sanji looked at her, confused.

"What? What do you mean?" Zoro asked (Sanji looked like he tried to as well, but he was becoming more intoxicated by the second and couldn't muster the brainpower to speak).

"That's it." Nami repeated, dryly, a venomous undertone creeping into her voice. "We're out of sake. You drank the ship out."

Again, there was a pause, as Zoro looked around at his nakama, who were watching the two 19 year olds, in a mix of awe and shock.

How the hell? Had they really drunk that much? That's impossible...

Zoro felt fine - but then he was used to drinking bottle after bottle, so that wasn't any kind of measure. Then he looked down at Sanji. And nearly fell over with shock.

Sanji was looking deep into Zoro's eyes, his one sapphire eye clouded by a mix a alcohol and...lust.

Oh shit... Zoro thought, not being able to tear away his gaze from the cook's. Sanji had twisted shoulders around, so that he was breathing heavily on Zoro's lips, drawing ever closer. Zoro could smell, and almost taste, the amount of sake the chef had downed, and he felt a familiar surge of something in his chest.

Sanji's lips curled seductively, and he licked his lips. All of a sudden, he swung his lithe legs around Zoro's waist, straddling him in one swift, fleeting movement. He grouond his hips down onto Zoro, and the swordsman blushed at how bloody good it felt. His arms wrapped themselves around Zoro's neck ,and Sanji let his azure eye search Zoro's face...when the cook closed his it, and let out a deep sigh,the swordsman knew that their situation was too far gone for saving.

Suddenly, Zoro didn't give a damn that all his crew were watching - hell, if the sexual tension hadn't already killed them, they weren't going to be deceived much longer anyway.

Zoro couldn't suppress his grin.

Suddenly, as he lunged forward to ravage his cook's pink, swollen lips, all Zoro heard was:


Still encased in Zoro's arms, the chef was fast asleep.

Well, that was bloody awkward.

Zoro had, to be fair, been as shocked as his nakama to find his lover had fallen asleep, mid lap dance, and just before Zoro had been about to give him the hottest kiss of his life.

Swinging in his hammock in the men's quarters, Zoro looked over at Sanji, sleeping silently a few metres away from him.

Shitty cook...why do you have to make it so hard for me? Bastard, I swear you enjoy teasing me like a damn school girl...

Zoro had, in no uncertain terms, been left holding the baby on this one. With a sleeping Sanji in his arms, and an obvious embarrassment in his attitude which said 'I cannot belief what just happened', the crew had almost felt sorry for him. Almost.

Nami was the first to take the delicious bait waiting for her.

"So..." she began, a false casualness to her tone, "Sanji sure gets horny when he's drunk, I'll bet Zoro?"

Zoro had said nothing. He just watched Sanji...and used him as a shield from the eyes of his nakama.


"W-what the hell, woman? What are you implying?" Zoro growled, realising he was exprected to take this opportunirty to 'reveal all'.

He heard Nami's laugh ring out- she sounded so damn pleased.

"Me? Oh, nothing! I was just speculating," she added, sheer pleasure lacing her voice, "Right, Robin? I don't think I've seen Sanji-san drunk before. He only drinks wine - he keeps the sake especially for his marimo..."

She said the last two words so coyly, that Zoro nearly hit her. Had she been anyone else (except another girl...or Chopper) he would have hit her. But Zoro hed back. He heard Robin stifle a chuckle.

"I think you're correct, Navigator-san...he certainly lets his inhibitions go when he's drunk, doesn't he?" she mused happily. "I think he needs to g to bed don't you, Swordsman-san?"

Only Robin and Nami had spoken so far - they were of course, the reason for the situation, and were expecting the outcome. Luffy wasn't interested - he was too busy trying to sqeeze himself into the discarded beer bottles to care that his nakama were about to go at it on Merry's deck ; Usopp had let his jaw drop and was staring...he hadn't moved a muscle (not even blinked...) since Sanji had straddled Zoro, and Chopper, who had at first been incredibly embarrassed, now busied himself with making sure Usopp hadn't gone into shock...

That had left the women to tease Zoro with innuendos as he got up, swung the cook over his shoulder, and carried him away to bed, saying,

"Robin's right. I'll take the shitty cook to bed with m-" he stopped short as he heard the girls snigger behind him, and he didn't bother to hide the red flooding his cheeks.

"Ah, you do that, Zoro. But be gentle with him, won't you?"

"Indeed Zoro-san. Remember, those hammocks aren't very stable- they're no good for erratic motions..."

Zoro just trudged across the deck, annoyed, to the cabin.

After all, he was dog tired.

And bloody horny too...thanks, shit-cook.

Author's note: And that's a wrap! I figured I'd end it here, because...well, I just felt like it :D Hope you enjoyed was fun to write, but I'd really appreciate the reviews...*confidence crashes* oh, umm...never mind, there's really no need...I mean, you can if you want to, but...thanks for reading xD