Title: Salamander and the Naked Prince

Author: Risa

Pairings: Natsu/Gray, Gazille/Levy, Erza/Jellal, Lyon/Juvia, possibly others

Rated: T

Disclaimer: My job sucks, therefore I'm not Mashima.

Summary: Every maiden in the land is called forth to attend his highness Prince Gray's ball. Now, this shouldn't have anything to do with Natsu, an orphan that lives and hunts on the outskirts of the kingdom, but when he should chance to meet this dashing ice prince then everything regarding Gray suddenly becomes his business.

A/N: You know what's better than a good fairy tale? A good Fairy Tail fairy tale. With lots of hot, naked, ripped male bodies rubbing against one another. Dohohohoho. Enjoy!

ONE: Carriage Crash of Splendor

There once was a house on the fringe of the great Magnolia Kingdom, and in that house lived three orphan children. They were orphaned in theory only, as they each claimed to have been raised by dragons at one point in their lives. These three children, Natsu, Gazille, and Wendy came to live and work together at some point for reasons unknown, because life on the hill was chaotic if anything. Natsu and Gazille, two testy teenage boys, often fought amongst themselves with only little Wendy to mediate their wild tantrums. Without her, the two would have probably wrecked the town and each other by now.

Nevertheless, the three found it easy to live in relative comfort, given that their respective skills combined paid the taxes and brought food to the table. Gazille was a blacksmith apprentice, though lately he had been getting even more commissions than his master given his natural knack for metal work. Natsu hunted, and brought lots of game into his home and any excess into town which he exchanged for grain, vegetables, cheeses, and medicines. Speaking of which, Wendy was trained in the art of medicine, so worked as a private doctor within their cozy home. There were always people coming in and going out with varying degrees of illness and injury. Sometimes people even died there, so often Natsu and Gazille had to take their feud elsewhere, or Wendy wouldn't tend to their own bites, burns, bruises, indigestion, and other discomforts. Not that it mattered anyway, for they often had too much pride to rely on her anyway.

Natsu was content to live with them. After all, life could certainly be more uncomfortable, as it was for the children who lived on the street. He often slipped them bread and fish. His best friend, a flying cat named Happy, complained when the fish was gone, but Natsu was always glad to go find more. More than anything he loved fresh air and the outdoors.

Well, almost more than anything. What he actually loved the most was companionship. Save from Happy, he didn't get too much of that at home, considering that Wendy was always busy tending to the needy, and he didn't get to squabble with Gazille as often as he wanted to. Sometimes a good fist fight was the way to show that he cared. It wasn't something that made sense to a lot of people, but Natsu was a very active sort of person that was always up for a good fight. It got the blood flowing.

Now, if Natsu ever wanted a fight then all he had to do was walk into the butcher shop. He sometimes offered his game to Elfman, the owner, for a price that always made him angry regardless of how high or low it was. He would often shout various things about what it takes to be manly, though Natsu often didn't understand, nor care about anything the crazy man had to say. He'd just drop his stick of dead rabbits on the table, pocket his jewels, and flex his muscles, provoking Elfman. It was always enough to get the owner to crawl out from behind the table and start swinging his fists. Usually Natsu's speed and cunning outdid Elfman's beastly blows, but he was caught off guard one day, and was sent flying clear out the door.

On this particular day, his royal highness Prince Gray was being escorted through town on a carriage for the sake of patrol and a little fresh air. The cart's cabby was none other than his most loyal body guard, Erza Scarlet, whom he had insisted was guard enough, though his father often encouraged him to take more. And truly she was enough, because there wasn't much in this land, nor the ones surrounding it combined that could match her strength.

Now this wasn't the first time Natsu had ever flown through the butcher shop's door. It also wasn't the first time he had ever flown through the butcher shop's door and into a horse drawn carriage, which was always a disaster. This was, however, the first time he had ever flown into the carriage of the crown prince himself, though he hadn't realized it at first. Because the carriage was in motion still, Natsu was overcome with an intense wave of painful illness. He could barely make it to the window in time to vomit hysterically. All the while Prince Gray sat, observing this debacle as though it were the most absurd and barbaric thing he had ever witnessed in all of his eighteen years.

"The fuck?!" he said.

"It... stopped," said Natsu, once Erza drew the carriage to a halt. He wiped his mouth with the back of his arm and turned to face Gray. At once his eyes flew open and his jaw dropped at what he was witnessing.

"Yes, vomitus dreck? Never seen a prince before?" said Gray with a proud smirk on his face.

Natsu pointed at the smug prince and bellowed, "Put some clothes on, you pervert!"

Gray gazed down to find himself in nothing but his undergarments. He let out a yelp, and tried to recover his dignity with some sort of retort. Erza rendered such efforts unnecessary, because no sooner had Natsu shouted did her metallic hand shoot from the front of the carriage to grab a hold of this strange boy's scarf. When her ferocious gaze was finally in view all of the color had drained from Natsu's face. There was no man, woman, or creature in the land who could stand up to the wrath and will of Erza Scarlet. It was why the king appointed her to the constant surveillance and guardship of his reckless, foolish son.

"How dare you disturb the prince?" she said, and it was all Natsu could do to keep his bowels and bladder from exploding in pure terror. He had faced monsters as high as mountains, or so it seemed, and they seemed like ants compared to this woman. All of the kingdom's most exciting tales revolved around her, from single-handedly taking down an entire army, to smashing down enemy fortresses with her bare fists. Though these stories were dubious at best, Erza's presence commanded so much respect that her many legends could very well be true.

"Oye, Erza. Calm down. I can take care of myself," said Gray. Natsu got a peak at him from the corner of his eye, and if he didn't know any better he'd swear that the prince seemed to be pouting. This must be the only person in the world that could possibly be bored of Erza's antics, or perhaps he was jealous. Being a pompous prince obviously didn't lend itself well to ass kicking and such, though there was definitely some fight behind muscles like those. Natsu was curious to see if the prince was truly capable of holding his own.

"How can you fight when you can't even dress yourself?" said Natsu with a guffaw. Just one guffaw, because Erza yanked his scarf and his breath was cut off. She only relieved the grip once his face started turning purple.

"You want a fight, you pointy-eyed little maggot?"

Gray pressed his right fist against the palm of his left hand, and suddenly the air in the carriage had gone frigid. It was all Natsu needed to literally fire up his own balled fists, and he elbowed himself away from Erza, much to her surprise. Gray ordered her to keep out of it as he formed an enormous broad sword entirely out of ice. This was one of the two the legendary ice princes of the Magnolia Kingdom, though seeing his magic was a rare treat that only those of high honor got to witness. Not to mention his brother General Lyon was an even more powerful ice mage, so the king saw him more fit to fight and Gray more fit to carry on the bloodline.

Little did Natsu know that he was about to commit high treason by fighting Prince Gray. It didn't matter to him anyway, because the moment that sword went for his neck Natsu blew fire upon it, propelling him through the roof of the carriage. Gray hopped out of the roof in pursuit of his target, and the two would have had yet another explosive crash if Erza hadn't grabbed them each by the head and slammed them both chin first into the ground.

"That's enough!" she said, aware that she had somewhat overstepped her boundaries, but the king would forgive her. If not for her intervention, things would have gotten worse. Much worse.

All of the commotion startled the horses into plunging blindly through the town, another problem Erza would have to attend to. Many onlookers gasped and murmured over the sight that befell them. Their prince was battered and mostly naked. Some fiery oaf had challenged him. Then there was Erza, who bowed and apologized to the owners of the fruit stand that her horses had trampled in their fear. At least no one was hurt.

"Get out of here before the uproar. We'll finish this tonight," Gray whispered. "At the east side of the Fairy Lake. Show up, if you think you have what it takes."

"Yes!" Natsu grinned and pumped his fist. This was going to be even better than ramming Gazille's ugly head into the dirt. Thus began Natsu's fiery tale with the unclad prince.


A/N: Any Gladys readers tuning in? Just thought I'd start posting the chapters of this that I've got written. Hopefully this pile of cheese and silly tides you all over between Gladys updates, or perhaps satisfies you even more. The Internet needs so much more of this pairing, I swear to friggin' GAH! -shakes a fist- Also, don't forget to review! Authors love to know when they're loved, or hated. Whatever. XD