Author's Notes: This is not the usual love story.
This is different. This is the exception...
This is told from Hermione Granger's POV and the you she is referring to... might be who you think it is.
Disclaimer: Yes, I do not own HP.
It had been years since I last saw you. 3 years, 5 months and 7 days. I cannot pretend that I've forgotten how long... Now here we are again, at our usual table in our favorite cafe or maybe it's now just our used to be. I looked at you across the table and the sides of your lips curled up into a soft and easy smile. A smile that was as welcoming as the ones that were given in what seemed to be a lifetime ago...
Do you really remember me? How much I used to want you? How much I needed you? How I used to love you? Do you?
"I received your letter."
You softly told me, your eyes on mine. I smiled unconsciously, nothing has changed. Your voice always was too soft, like everything else about you. Soft, fragile, tender... The gentlest of men. The only one who wouldn't put me through the pain that others would. The only one who could look through my eyes... Who could look right through me. Tell me, what did you see? Did you see? Is that why... "It is the strangest request that anyone has ever asked me for." Your tone was light and another quick smile graced your features...
How could I have forgotten how beautiful you are? So beautiful. Too beautiful... Yes, beautiful, because calling you handsome would be a blasphemy. Inappropriate. Insufficient. An insult, because everything about you is beyond handsome. You were beautiful. You are beautiful...
"I'm sorry that I had to ask you through a letter at first. I was in Russia with my fiancée and we have only returned yesterday." There was no hint of surprise on your face, you already know that I'm engaged. Your gaze slowly left mine and your eyes seemed to moisten. Were you sad? That I am with someone else? Another? Not with you? Or was I just imagining it? Unconsciously hoping for it... Hoping that you took the two of us as seriously as I did...
I loved you.
I wanted to reach out and hold your hand in mine, wanted to comfort you.
But were you in need of comforting? In need of me?
I couldn't ask you that, because everything was suddenly too awkward...
We've been away from each other for too long. Yes, we did keep in contact, but not skin-to-skin like long ago. We kept in contact through messengers, letters and even patronuses. Through everything that we could use without having to come face-to- face. Were we afraid? I thought we were strong... We used to be each other's strength. Or maybe that's why we were afraid... Because I used to be your shield while you were my sword...
"You want me to donate my sperm because you and your fiancée want to have a child?"
Your perfectly waxed left eyebrow raised as you gazed at me once more and the accompanying smile sent a wave of comfort through me. The comfort that I always used to feel when I fell asleep and woke up with your arms around my waist. Your warm body so close to mine. Every curve a perfect fit, didn't we use to say that we're made for each other? What changed? I thought that we were both from the same mold, how could we have gone against our design?
"If yo-you're willing."
My fists clenched and I immediately looked down, glaring at the table. Angry at myself, my voice. It was trembling, stuttering and choking back my emotions. It had given me away.
How dare you affect me like this after all this time? How dare you not be affected too? How dare you?
I felt the palm of your hand tenderly cover my fist and I instantly pulled away.
We shouldn't touch... Even if we want to. Even if I missed your touch. Missed you, beyond too much. Beyond so much. Touch me please. I need you more now. Closer...
"Look at me."
You whispered. Voice as soft as your palm against mine used to be... I bit my lower lip and looked at you. I couldn't deny you...
I looked at your face and was surprised. Your eyes were filled with tears and one tear drop had already rolled down your smooth cheek.
How could I have ever forgotten that I was the stronger one?
I looked at you and yearned to reach out. To wipe away your tears. To touch you. Why do you have to make me want you?
Your gaze held mine.
"Do you love her?"
You carefully asked, referring to my fiancée. The woman who helped me put together everything that was torn apart when we said goodbye. The fulfillment of past daydreams, inspired by true events on movie screens.
My future... Another tear flowed down from your eyes.
I firmly answered, knowing that I was hurting you and yet never meaning to.
"You're the only woman I've ever loved."
Your words didn't know what they were doing to me. I know you. You don't wish to make me feel guilty, you just said the truth. "I know." I replied as I fought the urge to comfort you with my touch.
"I'm your exception. The only lover you've had who is not a male."
You carefully wiped away your tears with a handkerchief. I'm afraid to reach out, to feel your skin, your warmth. To feel you. I'm afraid of what you would make me feel...
"You are mine too. You're my... Exception." You already know that.
That we are each other's exception. We were good friends. Opposites, we were intrigued. Were we attracted? A gay and a lesbian. We tried, experimented. We laughed at it, about it. Then we suddenly realized that we were already in too deep, in love, and we had to say goodbye. We had to. We needed to.
"We both wanted it not to work out in the end... But it did."
I carefully said, it was the truth. "We never meant for it to be more."
You shook your head but didn't deny what I was saying. Your eyes probed mine and then you spoke, lips and voice trembling. How dare you be so affected? How dare your make this harder than I already have? How dare you cry for us? Please don't show me that you're hurting too...
"You're right. We were in love, and saying goodbye was just our escape." I felt my eyes moisten and held back my tears. We said goodbye because it was so much easier to say that our love was the only lie and everything else was the truth than to say that it is the only truth and our whole lives have only be lies. Even if what we had... We had was...
A stubborn tear rolled down my cheek. I lost you. We lost us.
I watched you, do you know how much I hurt for you? It's over and we can't go back. There's no time machine, no miracle. All we had was us, and we lost even that...
Your phone suddenly began to vibrate but you ignored it. I looked at the screen and saw an unfamiliar name.
"Who is it?"
I asked, knowing and yet still asking. Did I want to be hurt? I never wished to be a martyr or masochist... Because there is no chance. Tell me who he is, tell me that there is no chance.
You asked, ignoring my question and looking at me with the eyes that used to guard over me as I slept. Eyes that I loved to look into. Eyes that I once confessed my love to... It was so unfair.
"Because you are the only man whose child I will never regret..."
It was true. I could never regret you. A long moment passed before you finally gave a small, almost imperceptible nod. Your smile was gone, face set in a most serious expression. I never meant to hurt you. But we can't go back now.
"I should leave."
I finally said. "You're invited to the wed-." "I can't promise that I'll come." You interrupted. I nodded my head in acknowledgement. Maybe that would be best. Your voice cracked at the end of the sentence.
I didn't know what to say anymore. It was over. Done. I should leave before either of us could believe that it could still actually work out.
"Goodbye." I said, no longer looking at you. I stood up and walked away, though it was so hard to resist you. Goodbye, my only exception, I have always... Loved you.
Author's Notes: I know it is not what most would have expected from reading the title or the first few sentences.
It was inspired by a past experience of my own.
I was the she who loved females and he was the he who loved males...
Anyway, I hope all of you like it. Reviews are very much encouraged and loved, whether they be praises, suggestions, negative reactions or constructive criticism.
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