Author's note: Well, here is more random humor for you. I was in a joke mood towards the middle of the chapter. It's kinda obvious. :) Eowyn is slightly over-obnoxious due to the annoying things her brother does. Enjoy!


From: Sauron

To: Saruman

Subject: Eye C U


Hello Minion,

I couldn't see the Ringbearer so I went to my eye doctor. He says that I have cataracts and need surgery. What do you think of that?

May boom boxes, er, doom descend upon Middle Earth, Sauron


From: Saruman

To: Sauron

Subject: Eye C U 2


Hi Most Powerful Master Sauron,

That's too bad about your eye. I thought that it looked a little bloodshot. Can I go destroy the Shire yet? Oh, wait, I can't. I'm in the middle of a beard growing contest arranged by that long-winded ent, Tree-whiskers, or whatever his name is!

- Saruman


From: Sauron

To: Saruman

Subject: Eye'm watching U


A BEARD GROWING CONTEST? What sort of a fool did I hire? I thought you were a wizard! Oh, don't make up excuses. I know that the other wizard, Randalf, (oh, WHATEVER!) probably tricked you. Stay with MEEEEEEEE and the DARK SIDE!


From: Arwen

To: Aragorn

Subject: Idk


You know, Aragorn, dear, you would be a wonderful dancer, expect for two things.

Love, Arwen


From: Aragorn

To: Arwen

Subject: RE: Idk


And what would those two things be, dearest?


From: Arwen

To: Aragorn

Subject: RE: Idk


Darling, those two things would be your feet.

Love, Arwen


From: Aragorn

To: Arwen

Subject: RE: Idk


You know, I'm just not going to answer that.

Sincerely, Aragorn


From: Gimli

To: Legolas

Subject: Another Joke


Hi Legolas,

I thought of another joke. Who did the Necromancer bring to the festival?

- Gimli


From: Legolas

To: Gimli

Subject: RE: Another Joke


I don't know. Who?

- Leg


From: Gimli

To: Legolas

Subject: RE: Another Jake


His ghoul-friend! Ha ha ha! ROTFL again and again and again! SO HILARIOUS! Oh, I can't stop laughing. A whole chicken just feel out of my beard and started dancing. Ha ha, it's doing the chicken dance!

- Gimli the Eternally Amused


From: Legolas

To: Gimli

Subject: RE: Another Joke


Okaaaay, Gimli. That's a little disturbing (actually a ton disturbing, that that's beside the point). WHO ACTUALLY HAS A WHOLE CHICKEN IN HIS BEARD? Now I have one for you. What is Gollum's favorite bird?

- Legolas


From: Gimli

To: Legolas

Subject: RE: Another Joke


Uuuuuummm, a chicken?

- Gimli


From: Legolas

To: Gimli

Subject: RE: Another Joke


No! Why are dwarves so thick-skulled? Never mind. The answer is a Smea-gull. Get it? Seagull? Smeagol? Ha ha.

- Legolas


From: Gimli

To: Legolas

Subject: RE: Another Joke


You have a sad sense of humor, my friend.

- Gimli


From: Eowyn

To: Eomer

Subject: Beards


Eomer,

Faramir decided to shave his beard! Without my permission too! He won't tell me why. Could you try to pry it out of him? Thanks.

- Eowyn


From: Eomer

To: Faramir

Subject: Your Beard and My Sister


Greetings Faramir,

Why did you shave your beard? Eowyn seems very upset with you currently.

Sincerely, Eomer


From: Faramir

To: Eomer

Subject: Re: Your Beard and My Sister


Hello, Eomer,

I thought I would be hearing from you soon. I cannot tell Eowyn why I chose to shave my beard because it involves the present I am giving her for our wedding. I can tell you, but only if you promise not to tell her. Treebeard the Ent organized a beard-growing contest and I was invited to compete against Mithrandir, Saruman, and Aragorn. Of course I accepted. It is a great honor. Those are my reasons. I don't want Eowyn to know the silliness of the competition.

- Faramir


From: Eomer

To: Faramir

Subject: RE: Your Beard and My Sister


Hmm, that is a very legitimate answer. I am happy that I was not invited. I could not bear to part with my lovely stubble. Ah, it seems so foolish that a man could love his beard so. I shall invent a very believable story to tell Eowyn. Otherwise she might whack me with her sword like last time. I bet she forgot to mention that when she told you about the encounter. I had a huge bump for WEEKS!

Sincerely, Eomer


From: Eomer

To: Eowyn

Subject: RE: Beards


Dear Sister,

I have discovered the reason why your beloved Faramir decided to shave his beard. His elder brother Boromir was threatening to eat all the cheese balls in the kingdom and chase him around with the replica of the Horn of Gondor that cackles like a clown if he didn't shave his beard. Faramir of course complied.

Love your older brother, Eomer


From: Eowyn

To: Eomer

Subject: RE: Beards


Seriously, Eomer? You make up the worst lies ever! Faramir doesn't even like cheese balls. He likes Doritos!

- Eowyn


From: Eomer

To: Eowyn

Subject: RE: Beards


Um, I meant Doritos. It was a typographical error. In other words, it was a typo.

- Eomer


From: Eowyn

To: Eomer

Subject: RE: Beards


Yah, likely story. I don't believe you at all, Eomer!


From: Eomer

To: Eowyn

Subject: RE: Beards


Oh, come on! OWWWWW! YOU DON'T HAVE TO WHACK ME WITH YOUR SWORD AGAIN! I STILL HAVE A BUMB FROM LAST TIME! OWWWWWWWWWW!


Author's note: So there you have it! Hope you laughed. :)