colors and promises
"You don't choose who you fall in love with. The timing was wrong, but the feelings were so real. You shouldn't have kissed him though. He was with Quinn, and you were with Finn. But could just a little innocent kiss be so wrong? Not if it felt that right. And, in that moment, all you can see is burning red."
You stare at the piece of paper from the hat. Sam. Mr. Shuester looks at you curiously. You put a flashing smile on your face, clear your throat and say, "Sam." Your eyes navigate through the choir room until they land on the blonde-haired boy who was chatting animatedly to Quinn. The Cheerio had a bright smile on her face, so unlike the real girl you knew. However, Sam seems to be falling for the trick.
You narrow your eyes imperceptibly, then shake your head. You are happy for your partner in the duet. Sam has a fantastic voice – so clear and sweet, would go with any song really. You smile at the thought of getting to know him better. He always interests you with his different interests (Avatar, comic books, impressions to name a few) and his purity of heart.
You nod. This is going to be good.
You catch his eye and smile quickly; he returns the favor before making doe eyes at Quinn. For some reason, you feel sick to your stomach. You shake it off as nerves.
However, you can't stop the thought from lingering in the back of your mind: You have been performing since you could walk; you are never nervous.
The auditorium has never seemed this large until you are standing there with a tall blonde boy with a Letterman jacket on. You spin around, not letting the memories of the last time you were in here emcompass you:
Finn lays you down on the floor of the auditorium, the blanket cushioning your body. He leans down and presses his lips to yours. He tastes sweet and, well, you like it a lot. Evidently, he does too.
B-but this is wrong. He's with Quinn freaking Fabray! Queen bee of the school and head Cheerio – and he was making out with you, leader of the Glee club, greatest loser of the entire school? Something didn't seem right.
You spring apart as if burned. Face burning in embarrassment or shame, Finn sprints out of the auditorium, leaving you confused and alone. You can never look at him the same way again.
You must have given into the memories that this auditorium holds. Sam furrows his brows at you. You know you should not, but you give him a real once-over. He is tall, only a couple inches off Finn, with short blonde hair and bright green eyes. You can't help but like his hair shorter than the Bieber hairdo. Even if that was adorable.
Wait.. what? Since when have you found Sam Evans, Quinn Fabray's boyfriend, adorable?
You decide on All This Time by OneRepublic. It suits both of your voices – his for the soft and silky moments, yours for the powerful and emotion-filled parts. Your voices fit together perfectly, or at least you think so. Sam gives you a quick smile before departing to meet Quinn (cue eye roll), and it leaves you with butterflies in your stomach and confusion in your mind.
Finn! Think of Finn! Think of the smile he reserves for only you. Doesn't that give you butterflies anymore? It doesn't seem so. You think you are just tired. Seems a plausible enough excuse for not being attracted to the boyfriend you worked so hard to get.
So when Finn wraps an arm around your shoulders, you can't help but cower away. He seems sweaty from football practice and stinks of gym shorts and Puck's dirty old socks. He gives you a confused look, and you attempt to lighten the mood by saying, "You stink."
Finn looks hurt and offended. He backs away, hazel eyes intense and says, "Well, Rachel, you never seemed to care before today." You swallow hard. You are an excellent actress and liar, but you hate being dishonest, especially to your boyfriend of six months.
"I don't know, Finn," you sigh. "I am just in a bad mood today." You shrug your shoulders as if this is a daily occurrence. But it isn't true. You are usually an upbeat person who enjoys talking, hugging, kissing and all that jazz.
"Evans put you in a bad mood?" Eyes narrow. You shake your head vigorously, only realizing afterwards that what you had just done could seem a little... over-the-top.
"Oh, no, he is wonderful. Really. A pleasure to work with," You beam at him, expecting at least a half-hearted grin in return. You don't get one. You get arms flailing in the arm, an angry visage and a frown of the lips you used to love to kiss.
"Are you like hitting on Evans? Seems like it!" He shouts, spitting in the air. You press your body against the wall and shake your head.
"No, Finn, it isn't like that. Do you really think I would do that?" You raise your eyebrows in question, and it breaks your heart when he turns his back to you, already walking away.
"I don't know anymore, Rach."
What should be going on in your mind is: pull away now, get this person off of me.
But, unfortunately, that is not what you are thinking.
You are reveling in the feeling of his mouth, how your lips mesh perfectly with his. And, oh, what did he do just there?
You are making out with Sam Evans on his bed.
Wait – isn't he dating Quinn or... are you dating Finn anymore? You are so utterly confused, partially because it is hard to think straight when you are in your bra, and he is shirtless.
"Quinn..." You manage through kisses.
"Broke up with her today. She was cheating on me with Finn anyway." This is no surprise. Everyone knew they were cheating on both you and Sam, but Finn somehow managed to make you feel bad for feeling a slight attraction to Sam.
Slight is an understatement.
"Okay," you manage before he unhooks your bra and all you see is red.
All this time, we were waiting for each other
All this time, I was waiting for ou
We got all these words, can't waste them on another
So I'm straight in a straight line, running back to you
As soon as the last chorus to All This Time strikes and both you and Sam are greeted with thunderous applause, he plucks the courage to peck your cheek. You blush, knowing this is the first public display of affection you have with Sam.
Definitely not the last.
Finn and Quinn are both shooting you death glares, but you just shrug it off. You can not care less about what Quinn Fabray and her on-and-off boyfriend think of your current relationship with the man you love. Yes, love.
Anyways, these people don't mean anything to you nor Sam anymore. They are just mere ghosts of the pasts, mere obstacles, but also catalysts into leading you to Sam. You both bonded in heartbreak caused by those two shallow people and found solace in each other's arms.
Mr. Shue beams and congratulates you. You won the competition, he says. Your chemistry was powerful, he says. But, you can not really care less to what he is saying because Sam Evans is looking right at you, and there is a power in his eyes, love shining through his emerald orbs.
He smiles and winks at you.
You giggle, smile and smack his arm. Only the densest people don't know you are dating. Brittany was told by Santana, and Finn witnessed it firsthand (you are not willing to go into details about that particularly traumatizing event).
You sit down in your seat, feeling Sam's warm hand encircling your nimble fingers. All feels right at the moment.
New York is where you have planned to go since you could speak.
Concrete jungle, where dreams are made of, you still dream about Broadway. Sam has another year of school to complete, and he encourages you to attend the school you want to go to. You get in. He smiles and congratulates you genuinely, though you see his eyes are becoming glassy.
The day of your departure, you kiss him hard, tasting his lips, committing to memory the feeling of his hands resting on your waist. Sam pulls back and he has tears in your eyes, and you know there are streams of salty-water dropping from your eyelids. He tells you he loves you, gives you a promise ring, and you get on the train to your career.
The train ride is full of sobbing and looking through pictures of you and Sam on your phone. You didn't break up – oh, hell to the no – but you know a long-distance relationship is going to be hard. Waking up and feeling his absence from the other side of the bed will cause you pain. And heartbreak. And sadness. Emptiness too.
Why don't you let go then?
Brody talks to you over coffee, and he asks you why you are still holding onto Sam. "There are so many great guys here," he tells you, and you know he is alluding to himself. You like Brody. He is nice, sweet and sexy, but you don't feel the passion towards him that you feel to the blonde-haired, trouty-mouthed, guitar-bearing, impression-making Senior at West McKinley High School.
You smile a reminiscent smile and tell him honestly, "Because loving him was red."