Hey everybody! :D

This idea's been floating around for ages, and so welcome to the first MOTRT spinoff :p

Valve owns TF2, not me!

Chapter One! The Idiotic Idea


It was a quiet night for the RED team. The nine mercenaries – Scout, Soldier, Pyro, Demoman, Heavy, Engineer, Medic, Sniper, and Spy – were all seated in their base central room.

A scene so average simply couldn't last with these idiots around; they had two previous stories to prove it.

Anyhow, everything started with a standard, offhand comment not uncommonly heard when there was no fighting going on;

"I'm bored," Scout announced, dramatically flopping back in his chair. A mere moment later the jumpy merc sprang up again. "Ooh! I know! Let's play catch!"

The team blinked in only half-surprised confusion as the Scout produced a baseball from seemingly nowhere. Selecting his unwitting target, he threw it at the Heavy Weapons Guy.

There was a low, comical thunk! as it bonked the man squarely in the forehead. A few unfazed, silent glances around passed. Then Heavy abruptly flew across the room;

"PUNY SCOUT WILL PAAAY!" he vowed at a rather loud yell. Scout legged it and everyone else dodged aside, all too used to this kind of brutality within their own team.

"That escalated quickly…" the Engineer observed, more to himself and his pocket buddy Teddy Roosebelt that anyone else. Pyro nodded a little blankly as it nonchalantly went back to its strangely adorable flowery teacup. Noting this, the Demoman hesitantly asked,

"Seriously, how d'ye even drink?" The masked merc shrugged in vague response, casually ignoring a few laws of physics and taking a sip of tea.

Demoman sighed in defeat then flinched along with the other REDs as a smash echoed from the hallway. Recalling the events of the Great Sandvich Rush, Medic put down the odds;

"If I had money, it vould be on Heavy." Hearing a significantly louder crash and girlish scream, Soldier felt so inclined as to agree with a somewhat half-assed,

"Yup." Before long though the temptation prevailed, "Let's go watch, maggots!"

"Maggot count; one," Spy said with a mature chuckle. Soldier flipped him off then excitably led the RED team to the fight.

At that point the Sniper plodded into the central room noticed everyone was gone. Quickly picking up on the brawl vibes, he glared moodily ahead.

"Really? He mumbled disbelievingly, "I took a half minute jarate break and this 'appened. Wankas prob'ly didn't even notice…" The Sniper took a single step through the door when, with all the grace of Pyro's driving, the Scout launched into the doorframe and promptly landed on his backside.

The look Sniper shot him clearly read 'Mate there are dead robots outside in better shape than you'.

Which totally covers for the lack of continuity, right? What with the robots.

Nevertheless the battered Scout heaved himself up (accidently headbutting the wall) when the Heavy came barrelling down the hall; until the day he died Sniper would curse the place he was unfortunately standing in at the time.

The other REDs pursued their Heavy to find him locked in a freaking death grip with both Sniper and Scout.

Now, Soldier reckoned, if three's a crowd, four must be a free-for-all. On that flawless logic, Soldier leapt into the fight.

Evidently the Demoman was drunk enough to want in on the action, until eventually the RED base was a battlefield full of brawling teammates. The baseball sat guiltily in the far corner.

Amidst the UTTER CHAOS, the Engineer and Teddy Roosebelt felt slightly uncomfortable. TR commanded the need for a distraction. Well, either that or Engy's actually as crazy as the rest of 'em.

Regardless the defence class came up with the utmost brilliant, foolproof, ingenious plan of the century.

Little did he know it was in fact the utmost terrible, fail-guaranteed, idiotic idea of eternity. And that's a mighty long time span.

The Engineer stepped onto the table in slow motion, and above the din he yelled,

"FELLAS! End with thy nonsense!" He felt self-conscious as everyone turned to face him. What a line… "Instead of fightin' day in and day out, we could, I dunno, play a game or somethin'."

Good God would he regret that statement.

Alright lads/lassies, hope you'll stick around to see this go down!

Thanks for reading :)